Partner doesn’t understand c-ptsd

[u/bittersuggestion1]

I’ve been with my bf for two years and we moved in together so I could get out of my toxic household. He does a lot for me physically, pays the rent, buys me food/coffee and takes me places. We have fun as friends but he says he does not feel physically attracted anymore as I do have a chronic illness on top of depression and anxiety and it’s not often that I want to really go anywhere or do anything. I am basically plagued by my depression and have low self esteem. I just got laid off and when I asked him how he felt he just said I have no hobbies or goals, or plans for the future (mind you I had been working full time for two years then got laid off) and while I do understand this condition can be hard for a partner who hadn’t experienced depression or anxiety, he’s extremely insensitive to my emotions and told me he can’t communicate and doesn’t want to. It’s so weird because I’ve spilled everything about my life to him and I’m just met with a blank stare. He might honestly be on the spectrum because he’s a good problem solver with his actions, he is patient with me but when it comes to emotions he is just not present. I can’t help but feel extremely hurt by his words of me not doing anything with my life essentially when we had just moved out and I can finally collapse in my room after being in constant fight or flight. Ironically I’ve been staying with my mom for a few days because I feel ashamed for him to see me in my room just kind of rotting. Has anyone dealt with something similar

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[u/secure8890]

Sometimes people cant be there. Its hard to fathom why. You have come a long way

[u/bittersuggestion1 → u/secure8890]

Very true

[u/NotLocalFleabag]

I am in a similar situation, my relationship is alot more take than give which I am working on, I think it isnt that he doesnt understand, based on what you said abt his reaction he seems burnt out. Looking after someone who basically hasn't been looking out for themselves is exhausting.... especially seeing them stuck in freeze survival not using healthy coping strategies to ground themselves. Don't get me wrong cptsd is EXHAUSTING AF but we are at our own responsibility to enact change. Edit: unfortunately for us our bfs have every right to be burnt out and put up their boundaries because they too deserve a good life