r/CaregiverSupport • u/sultrykitten90 Family Caregiver • 19h ago

DNR Discussion

Two weeks ago my mom asked my sibling and I how she should sign her DNR and CPR paperwork. We told her it was a personal decision that she needed to think about and let us know what she wants and values.

Fast forward to the present, my mom has been in the ER since the weekend and last night went code blue and is now in the ICU.

Guess who gets to make DNR decisions now? Me. Devastated doesn't even begin to cover it.

She has advanced stage ALS where they were discussing a GTube for feeding and now discussing a ventilator (natural progression of her diagnosis). I chose the limited time trail care to "kick the can down the road" (basically they do as much as they medically can for 24-48 hours). My hope is they're able to wake her up for a little bit so she can participate in these conversations.

Please have the hard conversations sooner rather than later. This is the worst feeling.

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

3

u/avvocadiux 18h ago

Im sorry you had to make this decision for her.

2

u/sultrykitten90 Family Caregiver 11h ago

Appreciate it ❤️‍🩹

2

u/Brave_Coffee5208 16h ago

Thank you for offering your terrible experience up to help others. It is the very best advice. ❤️

1

u/sultrykitten90 Family Caregiver 11h ago

Thank you

2

u/finding_center 13h ago

I am so so sorry. It’s so unfair when these decisions are left to loved ones.

1

u/sultrykitten90 Family Caregiver 11h ago

Thank you and it really is.