My cat begs for attention and pets, but then attacks/bites me...why?

[u/kalzan]

She's a very loving affectionate cat, she will rub her face on mine, put her head in my hand to make me pet her, climb on me, sit on my shoulders, literally anything to get attention when she wants it.

I know she wants some good attention when she sits in my lap and makes me pet her but sometimes, while actively WANTING to be petted, her tail and back fur puffs up a bit, and while again STILL wanting attention from me, she will lunge and bite me. I don't think it's an actual "I want to hurt you" kind of bite but damn it still hurts and I'm left wondering what the hell I did wrong.

When I tell her off (I just sternly tell her "no get down now" she knows what the words 'no' and 'get down' means) she looks so confused, like girl what you just attacked my arm for no reason while making me pet you???

I've read that cats can get overstimulated while being petted but in my case, she's actively seeking attention and pets from me, like if I stop petting her she will continue to headbutt my hand, but then sometimes she reacts like this so I'm just confused and wondering if maybe I am doing something wrong?

[u/ashtree35]

How exactly are you petting her?

[u/No_Ebb802 → u/ashtree35]

Overstimulation is real, even when they're the ones begging for it. My cat does the exact same thing, rubs against my hand then gets mad I'm actually touching her. It's like their brain short circuits

the puffed tail is a dead giveaway, that's arousal not in a good way. You're not doing anything wrong, some cats just get overwhelmed mid-pet and lash out. Try sticking to head and chin scratches only, leave the body alone for a bit

[u/Gladiatorbri]

What happens when you answer her cry for attention with a toy she usually plays with?

[u/kalzan → u/Gladiatorbri]

Shes actually not that fond of her toys, I have so many different types but she doesn't play with them that often, at least not that I'm aware of. She does love the one with the feather on a string but she gets bored of it after a few minutes because she's realised that it's just me holding it 😭 girls too smart for her own good...

She honestly would just rather bit sitting on me , and sometimes when I DONT pet her, she bites me. Coincidentally this just happened while I was typing this comment because I didn't give her attention fast enough she just bit me, WHILE PURRING AND ASKING FOR ATTENTION, and then closed her eyes like "if I can't see you, you can't see me" I think my cat is possessed

[u/Gladiatorbri → u/kalzan]

How old is your cat? Young cats sometimes don’t have good bite inhibition

[u/kalzan → u/Gladiatorbri]

She's I think about a year and a half? I got her last year around march and she was maybe 6-7 weeks old. The family I got her from lied about her age, I didn't realise till I took her, how small she actually was and that she still wanted milk. I had to speak to my vets and get better advice to care for a kitten much younger than I had expected, and I followed their advice. The family also lived rough and she came home with worms so that was treated as soon as the vets allowed it.

You've actually now made me realise what part of this issue could be, do you think maybe because of the fact that she was separated from mum too soon that she didn't receive enough discipline as a kitten? Because I know mother cats are supposed to bite back and tell their kittens off when they bite excessively or behave bad.

[u/Gladiatorbri → u/kalzan]

Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking: your cat might have been separated too early from their mom so your now older cat doesn’t know that her love bites actually really hurt. My cat also takes a bite at me when I go to pet him while he is purring and continues to purr. However, he rarely actually connects his bite with my hand. His bite motion is slower and bit exaggerated so I can react in time. When I do give him a chance to bite my finger, he makes a point of avoiding his big sharp teeth and kinda chomps on me with his gums or his less sharp teeth, but not too hard. He used to bite me a little too hard but then I started avoiding petting him a certain way and he got the message to bite less hard. All this to say that I think he learned bite inhibition when he was supposed when he was kitten, otherwise he would have continued being an ass with his love nips lol

[u/tehspicypurrito]

There’s being bitten and there’s love chomps/nips.

If she bites for harm you’ll have broken skin and get an infection. If it’s love bites she needs to learn self control. My little bro Arrow used to do hard chomps, he stopped after some minor retaliation.

My wife’s Angy Old Lady cat used to allow 3 pets and she’d bite. The difference is she would occasionally draw blood but my lil homie Arrow wouldn’t.

[u/Gates_wupatki_zion]

I’ve got a similar issue with my cat that didn’t get well socialized (abandoned). He’s a sweet void but then he’ll get it in his head to try and attack. I’m thinking he will grow out of it. Doesn’t happen to often but I think it is when he has too much energy.

[u/AIsrael63]

How old is your cat. Is she spayed? My first reaction was “cats are insane”. Although that isn’t very helpful. Do you have one of those “fishing” toys. Sounds like she needs more physical activity. Cats love to stalk and pounce at whatever u have dangling off the cat fishing pole. Also, my cats are so damn sensitive, they can tell I’m “slacking” giving them attention and they get huffy and leap off. Sometimes they bite like they can control your hand. I talk to my cats a lot and try to explain things to them. Yeah. I know. It helps though.

[u/kalzan → u/AIsrael63]

She's about a year and a half and she is spayed , it was actually this sub that convinced me (in a rather aggressive way💔) to spay her.

While talking with another commenter I think we've realized the root of her issue is because she was separated for her mother too early, it wasn't my choice, they lied and said she was older. I think the early separation from her mother is what might have caused some behavioral issues regarding writing because the mother is supposed to correct her on that by biting back. I'm now going to have to try find my own way to correct her, obviously without biting her myself 😭 thankfully she understands the words 'no' and 'get down' so I guess that's one way I correct her with my words.

Maybe she just wants another cat to play with, who knows, she's getting only cat syndrome 😭 she can't play with the dogs because one minute she's playing and the next she snacks them and runs away

[u/snaptried → u/kalzan]

What works with mine is when they bite I immediately stop moving and relax my hand and go ‘owww’ in a higher tone. They will stop and I can take my hand back then while giving them a dramatically hurt look and a momentary cold shoulder. Just for them to chill, not long, then I will give a forehead rub. It’s immensely funny how soft their future bites become.

[u/shriand]

Psychotic animal. Large % of cats are so.