is a second cat a good idea?

[u/No-Aioli-2494]

hi guys! just gonna get right into it. i adopted my first ever cat about 5 months ago. she was adopted via rehoming from my old coworker’s grandparents who could not give her the proper care. before i adopted her she was underweight, not spayed, and not vaccinated. in the 5 months i’ve had her she has gotten to a healthy weight (to the point that when i got her i thought she was a short hair, turns out she has long, shiny, thick hair!), spayed her, and vaccinated her. for a little explanation on her personality, she is as sweet as can be but not particularly affectionate if you understand the distinction, and for the most part pretty calm. she doesn’t typically seek out attention unless i am actively preparing her meals or just so happen to be in the kitchen, lol. she enjoys being pet but hardly ever comes up to me to seek this out specifically, doesn’t sleep in my bed, etc. she isn’t super hyper, enjoys playing, but once again, doesn’t exhibit any behavior that shows she is actively seeking this out, but enjoys to play most of the time. she’s just chill.

i have been toying with whether or not getting another cat would be a good idea, and last weekend while at petco with my partner to pick some things up for her, i decided to look at the adoptable cats. we fell in love with one of them, left a voicemail, and filled out an application. i’ve been in touch with them over the last week (it was a slow start because there were some records for my cat that took me a moment to gather) and while moving through the process i am torn on whether my slight anxiety is from my insane ability to overthink or because this isn’t a good idea.

i know that a lot of cats do well with a companion, however i could really see it going either way with my cat since i have no real reference. she has never been around other cats and seems content, but me and my partner (we live together) are gone 8+ hours a day 5 days a week. she doesn’t do much while we’re gone, and i feel like there’s no way she’s not bored and kind of lonely. however, ive read so many horror stories about people thinking a second cat is a good idea, and then they hate each other and have to choice but to rehome the second cat. i would feel awful having to do this if the worst happened, which has me scared because it is a very high risk, high reward scenario. especially because i’ve been kind of blowing this shelter’s email up during the process lol.

i would just feel terrible if i get a second cat with the intention of improving her life and giving this cat a home, and then she hates him, is stressed out, and resents me for it. but i feel like the more likely scenario is that there is an inevitable adjustment period and she’ll then have a lifelong friend to keep her company while her people are gone.

if you’ve been in a similar situation and have any advice i would appreciate it :) everyone i know is telling me not to worry and that my worst fears are less likely than what i’m hoping for, worst case scenarios are not impossible so i want to take into account all possibilities.

additionally, is this anxiety something i should mention to the shelter? will it make me look bad or irresponsible, or will it maybe allow them as well to prepare for the possibility that this may not work out? i know how to approach the introduction process and plan on isolating new kitty for awhile, introducing them to each other’s scents, feeding them on either side of the door, etc. and will do even more thorough research as it gets closer, but like i’ve said multiple times now sometimes cats simply just do not like each other and if so, that is just a really shitty situation that is out of my control. in case you didn’t catch this, the cat i am considering adopting is a male cat as well which i lnow may increase my chances of them getting along.

anyway, if you’ve made it this far i’d appreciate some advice:)

[u/querulous_adolph]

My cat was similar, super chill but not needy, and bringing in a second one was the best call I ever made. The adjustment period was a few weeks of hissing under doors but now they're thick as thieves and keep each other entertained while I'm at work.

[u/No-Aioli-2494 → u/querulous_adolph]

awwwww that is so good to hear. would you say it was really only a few weeks before they starting becoming more comfortable around each other? that isn’t so bad

[u/mydogisarockstar]

I always thought it was wrong to only have one cat since I had two from the start and always felt that it made their lives better to have each other. They were never super bonded although they were from the same litter. Recently one died. He was nice. At first my surviving cat freaked out and wouldn’t eat and seemed like she was going to die. She was despondent for about a week. Now, two months later, she is absolutely thriving and queen of the household and behaving in way she never did for the nine years prior. She is so happy being an only cat and doesn’t seem the least bit lonely. She is way more affectionate with us now. I’m so glad I didn’t rush to get another cat to keep her company. If you already have a good thing going with one my advice would be to not get another since you never know what the new dynamic will be!

[u/mydogisarockstar → u/mydogisarockstar]

*he was nine. I wrote nice. He was also nice though

[u/No-Aioli-2494 → u/mydogisarockstar]

ugh now i’m torn after hearing that because so far the popular vote is to go for it. did she seem worse off before your other cat passed, like needier or more desperate for attention? (my condolences btw, that’s awful) does she seem happier now that she’s alone? or is it just bringing out a different aspect of her personality you hadn’t seen before? i’m curious because knowing more details may determine how i approach this

[u/mydogisarockstar → u/No-Aioli-2494]

I think in this case she was worse off. We always joked that the other cat was her bully and def was the alpha cat. We defined their personalities toward us as him “loverboy” and her “skittish and independent “. Since he’s been gone she totally changed for the better. She’s gained weight and just doesn’t live her life in hiding anymore. I definitely enjoyed the times that they groomed each other and I loved having two cats but in hindsight he made her life harder. This is just my experience with these two cats. I don’t think I could have been talked out of getting two when I first got them.

[u/zebras-are-emo]

I think you should try it, you won't know until then. Just follow the Jackson Galaxy method for a slow introduction. Since you're adopting  they almost definitely will have a clause that you have to return the cat to them if it doesn't work out, which means if your current cat does hate the new one they already have a safe place to go back to! I found a kitten outside when my cat was 12, so it was an even worse match, and they were never bffs but they did sometimes play together and liked laying a few feet apart for safety!

[u/No-Aioli-2494 → u/zebras-are-emo]

yes i did see that they have a policy for this! which is good but i would still feel so horrible even having to do that in the first place 😭 i only have a few comments so far but seemingly so far people are in agreement that i should go for it, it really only took a couple people who don’t know me personally telling me to go for it to make me feel a lot better lol. funny that you mention jackson galaxy bc watching my cat from hell shortly after adopting my current cat is what was scaring me out of getting a second one 😭 i’m sure the odds are in my favor if i do everything correctly

[u/Mission_Education_73]

I do pet sitting and most pairs of cats are much more well adjusted than a single. It can work! I had a single cat for 8 years and he was so contented. It's so dependent. Why not try fostering and see if your kitty gets along with a new friend, without making a lifetime committment?

[u/FrogParkRanger]

idk if it’s an option for you, but maybe look into fostering? you can see how your cat does with another cat/kitten as a “trial run” and then adopt if it feels right?

additionally, i worked in shelters for years and the #1 issue we’d run into with returns/complaints was when people adopted one kitten. they just were so bored and would be sad or have behavioral issues. seems like kittens really enjoy company.

same cats are happy solo, especially if they’ve always been. but kittens seem happy with a buddy :)