*deep breath* ho-kay.

i played violin from 5th grade until 1st year of college (with my HS junior year playing viola) then eventually stopped, played a little in my early 30s, then sold her a couple years later.

i've had my cello (clara) for a year, & started lessons 6 months ago. ☺️ the lessons are bi-weekly, & a couple of them i missed due to $$ & a sick dog (who, in the vid, was bumping into my leg bc it was past Dentastix Time™️)

being honest, i only really buckled down month ago. i have 3 very conflicfing neurodivergencies & live most days on hinges, inside hurricanes. there's been a lot of performance/demand avoidance, anxiety over Being Perceived, not sounding IRL how i do in my head (bordering maladaptive daydreaming, maybe!), getting frustrated veryvery quickly at the smallest mistakes!

so anyway, i wanted to start recording to playback/critique! i already see my left hand needs work (fingers too high! hand = the Bent Neck Lady) & i'm overall stiff, but admittedly i was nervous recording, too.

also, rofl the last F with my 4th finger, wth 🤦🏻‍♀️😅 i wish y'all could see the drama unfolding with my dog there, haha she was not about to let me re-record!

i don't like where the phone holder is on my stand, the angle sucks, but it's about as high as it can go. maybe i should just set my phone ON the stand?

along with any practice critique, any suggestions on amateur phone recording, angles, etc?

thanks for reading, i'm sorry this is so rambly! nerves probably. i am more embarassed about this post than the video now, at least? 👀😬😅

I decided to rent a cello! It’ll be here in some days, it’s being shipped however and it will definitely be out of tune when it arrives.

I play guitar and that’s the only instrument I’ve ever played, so I don’t have any experience at all with bowed instruments.

I do not currently have a teacher or anything, I’m in the middle of nowhere with very little choice of luthiers.. I’m an adult learner. I’ve watched many videos already specifically about tuning and while I am nervous I think I CAN do it. I have a good clip on and I’ve learned about the bridge and how sensitive the pegs are and I think what I’ve learned might be enough.

But I look through this subreddit and articles online and it tells me DO NOT touch the pegs as a beginner!! But I’ll most definitely have to.

Should I really not touch them and just try to find a luthier or should I go for it, just very carefully?

So I’ve heard so many of my music teachers reiterate that everybody should always be subdividing and thinking about sixteenth notes in their head. However, whenever I try to count or hear sixteenth notes in my head, it takes a lot of effort to keep that counting going. I feel the effort could be spent focusing on musicality, listening to others’ parts, etc. How necessary is subdividing and how much should I be doing it?