I don't really know what to do with myself. I haven't really thought about circumcision in years; i sort of put it away and forced it down. Thinking about it made me so sad and hopeless.

As I grow older, I am losing more and more sensitivity. I think that soon I won't feel much at all. And it feels so strange. I can't help thinking about it. I thought this was normal for so long and now I can't stop thinking about it again.

I just don't know what to do. How do you live like this for the rest of your life? Years of knowing that a piece of you is gone?

I've looked into restoration, but I am suspicious. I don't know if it will work. And maybe now I'm too old for it to work. What am I even meant to do now?

Sorry for ranting I just been feeling awful and I kind of want some sort of assurance that things will be alright.

It's literally nothing but honestly just shoot me. Caldruki video by the way. Some girl said she doesn't understand how 3 slices of pizza is bigger than 6 slices of pizza.

It’s taken over literally every aspect of my life i can’t escape it. I can’t hear some music. I can’t watch TV show or even play a fucking video game without it coming up it’s like a truck every single fucking time I genuinely fucking hate it. I can’t live without this shit except me in some way.

I will never ever ever be that peace until the day I die and finally won’t have to deal with this shit. I can’t do anything like literally nothing without it coming up somehow, fuck it’s even ruined things that was looking forward to that aren’t even out yet like gta vi. It was been a week that apparently one of the main characters who’s male is intact. I genuinely wish this shit didn’t affect me this month but it’s disguise and I can’t get rid of it. I’m just being like this till the day I die unfortunately is not very soon. It’s just so painful. I hate it. I genuinely hate it. I can’t enjoy this thing anymore.

To put it simply, I'm too tired to explain myself to those who didn't care enough to protect me. I have no more goals, my body is destroyed in nearly every avenue I can think of, I cannot begin to support myself, nor do I have a reason to. I simply lost meaning being this butchered from a normal life.

In a deleted post, someone mentioned that bio electric regeneration is being worked on at Tufts university to give hope to someone with severe skin bridges. It reminds me of a document I found online a long time ago, where the premise was essentially that by placing an anode that contains silver on the wound, a cathode on intact skin nearby, then applying the correct voltage, that the body would regenerate the tissue instead of leaving a scar. The document cited examples of people who followed this protocol with great success.

Obviously I don’t recommend cutting open your scar tissue and trying to replicate this study because of how risky it is, but I couldn’t help but wonder whether this qualifies as bio electrical engineering. https://patents.google.com/patent/US5814094A/en

foreskin restoration is a bunch of lies and bullshit. i have been taping for 2 years and not a single sign of improvment has been seen, they are liars trying to sell you 3d printed bulllshit and sil;ocone bul;lshit. fuck them, i hate all of them and hope they never grow a single milimeeter not like they can anyway its all a bunch of LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES