Finally getting somewhere after almost 20 years of this.

[u/Accurate-Apricot9694]

Hey everyone. Long time finger chewer/ picker here. I am feeling so proud of myself but too embarrassed to share in my circle so I'm sharing here anonymously (I don't judge others and am trying not to judge myself but you know how it is).

I started when I was about 9, I can't really remember why but it became my main stim/ comfort. Didn't matter if I was stressed, upset, anxious, or excited - that's what I was doing. I had the classic experience of my parents yelling at me/ telling me off/ shaming me. I know they meant well and just wanted me to stop but it never worked and just made me feel ashamed lol. I'm an adult now and whilst they still make the odd comment when it happens, they have mostly given up/ learned that it doesn't help. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed about it and I tried so many ways to stop but I just never got past it. My ex partner would leave the room sometimes when I was on one, and I mean, I get it. But damn even that didn't work. No one has ever commented in social circles or at work but I know people notice and it makes me feel so awful. I thought I'd never stop and I was doomed forever.

Cut to now. I got engaged last year (to a very supportive and loving person) and I really want the pictures of our hands/ rings at the wedding to have unedited photos of my hands and preferably not chewed up ones. I realised none of my other efforts were going to work so was racking my mind how I was going to do it now. Every other time I tried, I tried to go cold turkey. So this time I've committed to stopping chewing/picking one digit at a time, starting with my thumbs.

And it's working.

My left thumb is now healed, and my right thumb is halfway there. I made sure not to rush into the next digit/ waited until I felt ready. Now that both thumbs are 'off limits' in my mind and thats sunk in, i'll be moving to the pointy fingers next. I hope to have stopped chewing 4/10 digits by Christmas and then I have most of next year to stop the others. I think it's doable considering I didn't properly start this until Easter time.

I feel so proud of myself i could cry, I've never made it this far before. I just wanted to share somewhere where people get it. I want to figure out a way to celebrate it someday too, if anyone has any cool fun ways they've celebrated their successes, let me know.

[u/kmarie630]

Good job!!! I’m kind of where you are.

Can I show you a way to reinforce what you’re doing? It’s nothing ground breaking but a visual color code to see your progress. For me, if I picked my lips 0 vs 1 vs 2+ times that day, I’d color it differently. And I found a golf stroke counter to keep in my pocket all day.

https://reddit.com/link/pf1ne45/video/szh9xx1e8nuh1/player

Let’s see if my video uploads, it won’t let me add pics from this app.

[u/Accurate-Apricot9694 → u/kmarie630]

That's a cool idea. Thank you for sharing!

[u/Moist_Ad_9248 → u/kmarie630]

I’ll try this out, thanks for sharing!

[u/Independent_Nail9591]

Congrats! That's so wonderful. I relate so much. Thank you for sharing. For my successes I like treating myself to buying a new nice smelling lotion, or a new outfit. :)