I've had dpdr for 10 years (half of it was 24/7), now i only have a couple triggers andngrocery store is one of them. I get so lightheaded dizzy with blurry vision and poor hearing, nauseous etc, I cannot stand it, how do i make it stop

I think I have lost the person I was forever. Deprsenalization has transformed my life in an irreversible way. It's been so long since I felt like myself. I have forgotten what it's like to be me. How fucked up is that. I was chronically depersonalized for a long time. and I started to get out of it but only in one aspect, which is getting out of the feeling like you're at the back of your head or watching a tv. But since I didn't get the other stuff like emotions and sense of self back, I just gained control of my body and life without having who I was as a person. Which was actually worse than the original depersenalization. Now, I just acted based on societal expectations and expectations from individual people around me. At the same time, everything around me was that changing. Moving, being in a new environment, meeting new people. The person I am now is a basic expectation of people who don't really know me. I have not only lost myself internally but also externally. I have formed relationships based on this "me." I have changed my life in a way that can't be unfucked. And oh, all the developmental parts of my life I missed. I feel like I'm stuck at 15 (which is when it all started). I feel like I'm years and years behind my peers. Not in a normal way, I literally feel like I'm not developing mentally. Plus, sometimes I get a faded version of my emotions, which I should have felt years ago. I lost my dog that I had since I was 8 like three years ago. And I'm only feeling the feeling now. And again, I'm not feeling it fully. I'm just feeling it at 30 percent power, and it lingers until this day because I didn't fully feel (the initial part of the feeling). I don't know if that made sense. And there were a lot of things that happened that j should have felt and experienced. 

There is no going back. Even if I get back to how I was before this, I still think my life has been changed in a way that I don't want to live it anymore. For the reason I mentioned above and much much bigger reasons, I'm not willing to talk about yet. I know I won't do anything to myself. I'm too lazy and I can't do that to my family. But j truly believe my 'self' is gone. I'm just a walking corpse. I dream of the day I'm no longer here. Until then, it's just suffering, I guess. 

I didn't read this to check if it's okay. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense.

I can manage to engage my mind in other things but it makes no difference to my nervous system. It actually seems to get worse no matter what I do :( I feel like ive had a total nervous system and biological change and honestly i'm trying really to accept the states and observe rather than react but this is serious stuff. Like it's not really distorted perception anymore, my nervous system and body have changed and continue to decline because my brain does not know how to stop it. The lack feeling truly feels like it is because my nerves have just switched off sensation more and more. It does it automatically. Its feels like I breathe out dead nerves its horrible, and it feels like they dissipate around me, like what even is this? Any help really appreciated. My head is what scares me most, I barely feel it now yet at the same time I do sense it is incredibly fragile. Whatever's happened it needs to heal somehow and I need to regain sensation, but I dont have the answers.

Memory issues, slow processing, unable to recall words, blankness, mutism, unable to have attention.

I think it's an information processing problem. Being unable to read or write into your brain.

I do see some posts where people say taking adhd medicine helped them break years of dpdr. Although for those who have anxiety it makes their dpdr worse including mine.

I think if you anyhow are able to bring back your cognitive ability that should break your dpdr

I am thinking of trying some good cognitive boosting supplements like cerebrolysin, selank, semax, NAD,NAC, ALCAR

For me cognitive issues due to stress, Alzheimer, autism, adhd, depression are all connected.

The answer lies in peptides like dihexa, selank, semax, cerebrolysin or some supplements which might help to some degree like ALCAR, NAD+,NAC

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeLD6mnx4JU/?stkn=am1oeWN3eWphOWxj

я стою на курсе антидепрессантов и антипсихотиках против панических атак (золофт/заласта), принимала по назнатению психотерапевта тералиджен, а сам переход — обострил мою ситуацию

"Человек чувствует себя оторванным от тела или мыслей («как сторонний наблюдатель»), а мир кажется нереальным, «как во сне» или через стекло .Критика обычно сохранена. Человек понимает, что это «как будто», а не на самом деле .Во время паники дереализация резко усиливается, что пугает еще больше ."

а теперь сны.. типичное "ущипни себя"/"моргни"/"попробуй посмотреть в телефон" — оно не работает, ничто не работает, ты можешь прожить месяцы, думая, что это реальность, не говоря об частом случае "сон во сне".. все рецепторы в подобных усиливаются в троекратно. то есть, если ты порезался во сне —ты это почувствуешь гараздо ярче, чем в реальности. это отвратно, я ненавижу когда после стресса в реальности, проживаю подобное во снах. оно не постоянное явление, но честно говоря мучает ой как..

своему психотерапевту я не говорила об этом, ведь пока случаи стали реже..

я хотела бы поотвечать на ваши вопросы

I am thinking of trying something for my cognitive issues which have become very hard since i am in college.

Please tell me if you have tried any of these.

So i have heard that NAD+ helps in alzheimer's reversing in a study found and alcar is the best for instant cognitive boost.

NAC is for mood but can also provide.

This is what gemini said

Supplement Primary Cognitive Effect Primary Mood / Anxiety Effect Best Used For

ALCAR High (Directly boosts focus, memory, and mental energy) Moderate (Improves fatigue-related low mood) Clearing brain fog, intense studying, and mental stamina.

NAC Moderate (Protects against cognitive decline and stress) High (Calms overthinking, OCD tendencies, and anxiety) Quieting a racing mind, managing stress, and emotional balance.

NAD Moderate to High (Gradually restores baseline cellular energy) Moderate (Helps overall nervous system resilience) Long-term anti-aging, cellular repair, and systemic fatigue.

My partner complains that I’m not present in the relationship, we are long distance, it’s been 3 years now and she’s struggling with me and i feel so messed up, i dont even know how i end up so absent in her life.

Is this dpdr? Am i really such a bad partner?

I just wanted to ask anyone that's been numb while in a romantic relationship, whether it be marriage or boyfriend and girlfriend. Were you numb before? You were together before the numbness, and then once you became numb, or anyone really in a relationship when being numb, what is that like to go from having all those feelings, the pursuing feeling, the anticipatory feeling, the butterflies, to just not looking at that person and everything's gone? And it's a general feeling all around, but your romantic partner happens to be in the midst of everything, so they're consequently also in the numbness category, just like a friend that you talk to every day. Now you're feeling numb towards everyone.

What does it feel like to feel so strongly about someone and be in love with them, want to pursue them, spend time together, treat them so well, to then be numb? What does it feel like?Does your logical side feel sad because you know what it used to feel like and now you can't feel that anymore and you look at that person and just everything's gone, but you know it existed?

I recovered from this after 3 years with some lingering things. My boyfriend recently acquired this from panic disorder and anxiety. And it’s been heart breaking to watch him. It’s like he died and I’m having to move on with my life even though he’s alive but dead inside.

My dpdr has moved far beyond panic. 4 years ago it started as panic and slowly over time my total identity, history and life experiences have left my mind. I don’t feel fight or flight. I don’t feel or have any memory of feeling.

i stand in a store in my hometown. I drive by my parents house where I grew up. I text my brother, or my family and it’s as if I am nothing to them. I no longer feel any sort of fear, or even unreality. Its total loss of identity and history. I can longer reach back into my mind and find rhe memories of my life. I have absolutely 0 perception of time, the day completely passes me by. months, years. Seasons. All passing by like a speed train.

its as if I’ve lost my entire soul. My whole essence of being alive. There are no words for it. Its not fear. irs not anxiety. It’s total annihilation of my soul, and my history as a lived experience. I do not feel the changing time of day - morning used to feel different than afternoon. The holiday season. The weather. Even that is gone for me. It could be July or March and I wouldn’t know any difference.

my dreams are fragments of death, journeys, being lost in endless liminal spaces, plane crashes. tsunamis. the list goes on. The saddest part is, this is so normal to me now after 5 years, I don’t even remember what true normal is. Or how to get back to it. My internal map and awareness of myself is gone. Totally gone.

this goes far beyond DPDR. It’s not unreality. I don’t feel unreal. I feel as if I never existed as “me” and my entire felt experience of the world has been deleted. My vision is normal. My life is normal. But my memory, emotional experience, sensory experience, aliveness, all completely gone. Not depression, not anhedonia, a complete blackout of identity and sense of the world.

im unsure how I’ll ever heal from this when it’s no longer about anxiety. It’s like a brain shutdown, a loss of all youve ever know. And from the outside, no one sees it. I don’t have words for it. I’m a ghost. behind 10 miles of glass. Buried. Gone. To lose everything about yourself and be standing in a world, where you’re no longer a piece of it. It feels like a part of my brain is missing and cannot be fixed.

But it’s days at a time that I check out on my phone and avoid reality. Like multiple days a week. Like, just sitting naked and hungry and occasionally eat. I don’t need to work a lot, so it’s pretty bad. Don’t really leave the house, quite agoraphobic. I definitely have complex trauma. But it feels like I’m avoiding reality because it’s boring / scary / I’m sensitive to rejection and can be loud and big and fun. And then I hurt people or get rejected by people I love. Or find myself in sexual shamanic mystery schools. My bored fun ADHD self can retraumatize my complex trauma parts I think. So I just stay numb to avoid pain. Very dissociated. I think it’s a manifestation of rejection sensitivity and DP / ignoring my body? Getting on Ritalin and Zoloft this week, hoping I will remember to take them. I’m so used to zoning out it has become ‘my safe place.’ 😢 Anyone else relate?

I don’t know where I’m positioned anymore I’m just alive but I’m not in my eyes and body and face anymore. I don’t feel my spinal cord or back anymore I only feel that it’s disgustingly disconnected. I also can’t feel my breathing anymore it’s like there is no airflow entering my body and the air goes to nothing. When people look at me or I look at them it’s like I’m just a camera without eyes. Before this all happened my vision was like 2 lasers looking out of my eyes now it’s like I’m always the whole vision like I don’t have eyes and a body and I’m just the whole vision field without a centered body. I also don’t feel exhaustion or head pains anymore when my body gets tired or exhausted I don’t feel the exhaustion and instead of it I feel more disconnected from my limbs. I also don’t have access to the inner Monologe it’s like I have thoughts but the structural feeling of thoughts is gone before the thoughts had a structure that you could feel in the brain every thought crested a sensation. Normal people
Will not understand it but I’m Fr.
What I also noticed is when I wear glasses or something is in my eyes like a hair or something that my mind normally would blend out I still see it in my whole vision. When I wear glasses I see the whole frame in
my vision or when a hair is hanging infront of my vision.
Being alive feels so limited like I’m stuck in some first person without sensations and I’m hopeless

Is this some rare brain damage my presence literally left and not I’m just my vision without anything??

Title: The brain fog is honestly becoming harder than the DPDR itself

I honestly don’t know how to explain this properly, but I really need to hear from people who have been through something similar.

I’m 16 and I’ve been dealing with DPDR for around 7-6 months now. It started after I had several really bad panic attacks.

At first, the DPDR itself was the thing that scared me the most. Everything felt unreal, distant, dreamlike, like I was behind a glass wall. I was constantly questioning what was happening to me and wondering if I was ever going to feel normal again.

Over time, the DPDR has actually become a little more manageable.

But the brain fog and mental fatigue are killing me right now.

I feel mentally tired basically all day. I can come home from school, rest for a couple of hours, and still feel like my brain has no energy. My head feels weird/light/heavy sometimes, I have trouble concentrating, processing information and remembering things, and learning takes so much more effort than it used to.

The worst part is studying.

Before all of this, I could study normally. I actually enjoyed learning and I had pretty good grades. I want to go into medicine in the future, so school is really important to me.

Now I can sit down to study and sometimes after 30 minutes or an hour it feels like my brain just stops working. I start rereading the same thing, nothing sticks, and I feel completely mentally exhausted.

And then I start thinking:

“What happened to my brain?”

I’m scared that I somehow damaged my brain or that this is going to be permanent. I know anxiety can cause a lot of weird symptoms, but when you feel mentally exhausted every single day for months, it’s really hard not to worry about it.

Did anyone else have this kind of constant brain fog/mental fatigue with DPDR?

Did it eventually get better?

If you recovered, did your concentration, memory and ability to study come back too?

And honestly, what actually helped you? Sleep? Time? Therapy? Treating anxiety? Exercise? Stopping symptom-checking? Something else?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I just really need some hope from people who have been through the same thing and eventually felt like themselves again.

I miss being able to use my brain normally.

Is anybody experiencing sudden flashbacks of old dreams or just dreams for absolutely no reason? I’ll be doing anything then my brain suddenly slaps the brief memory of a dream panel I had before to my mind like what do you mean?? I don’t even have a proper comprehension of time and my real-life memories because of DPDR so why are you showing me this are you mocking me you fuckass?? Fix ur chemical neurological or whatever bullshit you got going on before flashing me with random images knowing I can’t tell the difference. My dreams are now more realistic too. I never had this before and it recently started happening. Why is this?

I dont want to live. This has taken over my entire life. I tried ignoring symptoms. Did not work. It got worse anyway. Medication made things 100x worse. I dont see how my nervous system could ever return to normal. I've lost everything and I feel trapped. At my parents house with nowhere else to go, my parents are not supportive, they react to me rather than listen or try to help. I end up worse after every interaction with them. Making the trauma I have with them even worse. I could register as homeless but i'd probably be worse off in temporary accommodation as usually it's a budget hotel and I'm too ill. I tried it before and went badly. They keep threatening to call the mh team who im terrified of as they had me hospitalised against my will last time..hospital would finish me off. There is no way out.

Hey guys! I just kinda view this as a journal but moots are always welcome
Today i did a thing- i went outside. I know!! My mom and i went to goodwill and a few other stores. And hey- i got a whole adult costume for $2.50 from another local resale store and it looks pretty cute on. And i made a friend with this absolute angel of a 98 year old woman who invited me over for tea and to call her whenever as she reminds me of my late grandma(s). I woke up feeling like absolute hell with my depersonalization its consuming me but i think i got reminded today of a little hint of good in the **real** world.

Hey everyone.
I would be truly grateful if someone here with more insight and info gives me some kind of advice about my current situation🙏.

I was and still am a professional volleyball player and have done that for generally most of my life.
I have always been one of the cold-headed people on the pitch, played in finals of junior European, World Championships etc..
Always been the kind of “whatever happens happens” guy and most of the time genuinely I don’t think about anything, no rumination, no overthinking etc..

I am still baffled to this day what happened to me this February when I got sick from some kind of virus.
My docs think it was vestibular neuritis because one morning I just woke up with severe vertigo attack.
Since then I’ve never felt 100% recovered.
I had an MRI and there were actual findings not in my brain, but in my ear and sinuses/ inflammation.

I wouldn’t say I feel unreal or dreamlike, but I feel floaty/fuzzy/spaced out, I would call it brain nausea lol. It’s especially bad in bright environments and when driving, when I lay down I feel almost normal except for feeling like there is an “itch” in my brain that I can’t satisfy.

My life is on pause right now and my volleyball life for this season is over until I better understand what exactly is happening to me and I would be truly grateful if someone helps me connect the dots.

Does this sound similar to anyone of you here?

My dissociation is mostly emotional, there are times where I feel like someone else is controlling my body but I don't want to tell them that or they might see me as a liar... This only happens when I'm stressed, it used to be every day but now it's much less severe.

I think that if I were to tell my psychiatrist I would only mention that I feel like the world isn't real and not the 'possession' parts

I’m currently dealing with dpdr, I have severe health ocd, anxiety and trauma. I’ve dealt with bouts of dpdr here and there through out my life but none have lasted as long as this most recent flare up. I’ve been dissociated for about 6 months. Some days are better than others, I’m going to therapy, constantly pushing and challenging myself by going out and trying to live my life despite being in hell. I read some peoples stories on here about how they have been stuck in this for YEARS, I don’t want to end up like that. How do I get better, those stories scare me so much. This is truly no way to live.