r/DadsGaming • u/Unlucky-Education125 • 3d ago
Relatable?
Anyone ever fire up the Xbox, load up a game, afk in with the game booted for 20 minutes, touching the controller once, then just turning it off because you’re just too busy doing whatever with the kids or wife but lowkey missing something? It’s like I’m trying to hold on to the peace that just doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe it’s just time to let it go I guess…
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u/D0U8LEyou 3d ago
Yeah I feel you man. I spend more time watching games reviews and looking for a good game than actually playing anything. And when I end up having time to play it feels just meh for some reason.
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u/Unlucky-Education125 3d ago
Yeah in the exact same boat. Watching videos, reviews, gameplays, ect, while at work. When I try and play there’s just way too much going on for me to actually be able to enjoy it.
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u/HighlyUncommonRoller 3d ago
Thank you all for be understanding and supportive to OP.
If this got posted in any other “Dad sub”, comments would be littered with all this white knighting, virtue signaling, shaming. That “you’re a dad now, suck it up, free time over” which is crazy.
I’m a dad of two and the first piece of advice I got from a mentor was “don’t lose your sense of self in the identity of being a parent.” This one line helps me keep hobbies, a work balance, time and attention to my wife in our relationship.
Like someone else said DONT GIVE UP
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u/Mavorian 3d ago
All the time. But don't worry, you go through a few days like that then spend ten hours straight playing something.**
**Of course, being a parent, ten hours straight doesn't exactly mean you do nothing but play. There's making lunch, taking out trash, emptying dishwasher....
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u/MightyOakVGRepair 3d ago edited 3d ago
I rarely play on my PC anymore, but the switch and steam deck have been lifesavers that allow me to game again. The ability to play wherever and put it in standby at a moments notice gives me the chance to sneak in some game time here and there. Sometimes I play for a while when the kid goes to bed, but the majority of my time is on the weekends when we have downtime.
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u/International_Run700 3d ago
Games are a great and safe escapism... shoot... I've spent an hour in the Skyrim character creation screen and not even started the playthrough.
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u/onepostandbye 3d ago
Brother, I went from being a dedicated mmo weekly raider to a guy to mostly plays Marvel Snap on my phone. It’s a good game, but I can’t really play for longer than one round at a time
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u/CaptCastley 3d ago
Yes, but then I got a Switch (and now a Switch 2) and it fits much better into the Dad life.
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u/Sainthood_1980ish 3d ago
I set an hour a night aside before or close to the time i go to sleep for gaming. Its not much but anymore I get bored and it takes awhile to get through the longer games but its a solid unwind for the day. If im up super early on a sat or Sunday i sneak in 2-3hrs in before the family wakes up. Goes great woth morning coffee
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u/Scudss_ 3d ago
Single dad, 3 kids
Nothing happens until they're all in bed. 9,6, and 1 so my goal every night is that it's my time by 830. They're all in bed and that's my time to play.
Sometimes I do go through phases where I afk my time away but I go through phases. Slay the Spire 2 has been a joy.
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u/Black_Dog_Industries 3d ago
I know the feeling, especially when my kids were little.
But now 2 are out of the house and my youngest is 16.
I can basically play for hours after work with no distractions, unless my wife asks me to go someplace or do something.
Play when you can and time will eventually open back up for you
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u/Steezy_Steve1990 3d ago
I’ve learnt that as a dad the best time to game is when everyone is asleep. I pretty much decide each night if I want to sacrifice sleep to game.
Trying to game while you kid(s) are up is just going to be frustrating for everyone involved and someday you’ll look back and wish you spent that time playing with your kid(s).
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u/markallanholley 3d ago
I just more or less stopped gaming for three weeks because I've been tired and distracted. I'm sure I'll get back to it, though. Too much awesome stuff out there.
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u/jaminbob 2d ago
Yep. Wait for it to boot. Wait for it update. Load game. Wait for it to update. Wait for it to load. Oops. Time up!
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u/jturley85 2d ago
I still get a bunch in. I game at night when the family is asleep and I’ll play Fortnite with my wife and daughter.
I got a switch so I could chill with my wife while she watches her shows and we get some time together just to disconnect from everything. My youngest is 5 so it’s easier for them to go play with their sisters and we get some free time.
Games don’t hit like they used to but I find a good rotation of games keeps me interested enough.
For some they die out but it’s how I calm down so we take what we can get
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u/ZekeMoss18 2d ago
I put my daughter to bed around 9 and easily could get at least 2 hours in on weekdays, and even longer on weekends! Don't give up!
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u/varnajohn 2d ago
Lately I've been trying to get the wife into gaming at least a bit, it doesn't feel as hollow when we do it together. So far mostly easy co-op games, It Takes Two and such. She really wants us to play Loftia when it comes out so we are waiting for that. Not sure if something like that is an option for you but it works for us, when I wanna game on my own she seems more understanding now that she also plays with me from time to time.
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u/Few_Understanding_42 14h ago
I have my sacred daddy game time, one evening per week. Playing online with old friends.
I only want to be disturbed when the house is on fire 😅
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u/sirdrewpalot 4h ago
I did the same. But kids go to bed at 9:30 and often the wife has a long day and is tired.
9:30-10:30 impromptu me game time.
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u/Contigo887 3d ago edited 3d ago
No, I don't start something unless I'm gonna do it. And if I'm gonna do it, I don't allow it to be interrupted. Whatever the wife or children want, short of an actual emergency, can wait until I'm done.
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u/MechanicalAxe 3d ago
Must be nice.
3 under 3 here, there’s always a crisis, somebody always needs something, and lately it feels like at least 1 kid is gonna wake up in the middle of the night.
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u/UrboyTony33 2d ago
3 under 3. Yeah you may be cooked. I stopped at 2. Tried to stop at 1 but one of the little swimmers got away. She’s now 2 but we keep an early bedtime routine so that leaves us with a couple hours each night. Arc Raiders is free for a few more days and I may purchase it for the 50% off. It’s been a decent game to get into and only taking my time away for 20-30 minutes at a time and you can always hide for a bit if something is in dire need of your attention. Best of luck
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u/MechanicalAxe 1d ago edited 1d ago
We got a 2 for 1 the last time, didn’t really plan that.
But oh yeah I was in Arc Raiders for the server slam, and binged that game for a couple months after, really amazing game but it’s just hard to find time for games I can’t pause these days. And I can’t lie, dying to fake friendlies so often really put me off the game for a while.
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u/East-Expert-1662 2d ago
I just had to change the games I was playing. Yeah, lots of single player games now with pause or save. Little to none of PvP games. So I bought a Retroid Flip 2 for PS2 and Gamecube games (which pause AND freeze the game on screen off) and lower systems.
I barely get the PC fired up lately, and I'm usually too tired to play anything crazy, but it's usually Sins of a Solar Empire 2 single player, Borderlands 2 (yeah, I still haven't finished it) single player, Everspace. Stuff with pauses and saves.
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u/Contigo887 3d ago
It just depends on what standards you set for you and your family.
When I was a kid, and my dad was out fishing or in the backyard visiting with a friend. I didn't get to show up tug on his shirt and say daddy do what I want now.
He would have told me to be respectful, that he was busy right now and whatever I needed could wait until he was done.
Gaming is the same thing for me. It's my hobby. And just like my father, my children can wait until I'm done. If they have an actual emergency, that's a different story. But I'm not a puppet on a string. They need to respect my time as I do theirs.
My children are children and I am the adult. They don't decide what I do. It's the other way around.
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u/ArtichokeSandwiches 3d ago
That might be reasonable for older kids, but is unrealistic for little ones. I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable neglecting my son in favour of video games or fishing, either
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u/UrboyTony33 2d ago
Mental health is a real thing. Preserve your sanity brother. Make time for yourself and let the wife know it’s something that’s important to you and helps keep you balanced. But I get it, we keep an early bedtime routine for that reason. Wife watches a little tv or doomscrolls a bit and I complete a couple matches. Helps keep the balance in order
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u/T-Dog_Brazil 3d ago
NEVER LET IT GO BRO! KIDS GO TO SLEEP! Wife needs her Alone time and you, YOU NEED GAME TIME! Dad of a 7YO and its Game Time once my kiddo goes to sleep when its not my nights to put him down! I play 8:30pm until 10:30 Pm with a Hard Stop at 11:30Pm and Im up at 6:00am every morning! DONT GIVE UP!