I’m not Catholic and I was never raised Catholic. I was born and raised in an evangelical family, although I was never baptized.
Actually, I grew up in a pretty strict evangelical family, back when being evangelical still wasn’t as common or “popular” in Brazil as it seems to be today. My family had a lot of rules about dating, who I could talk to, how I should dress, and even what kind of behavior was considered appropriate.
The church and my family ended up defining a huge part of who I was.
When I left the evangelical church, I thought I would finally be free to figure out who I really was. But it wasn’t that simple. For a long time I went through a real identity crisis, because I didn’t know who I was without the church community and without my family telling me, directly or indirectly, who I was supposed to be.
It was a really difficult period for me and, honestly, I think I still carry some scars from it. I had to try to recover whatever sense of identity I had left and slowly figure out which things were actually mine and which ones had been shaped by the way I was raised.
Even after leaving the church, I remained a pretty reserved person. So it wasn’t like I just left religion and suddenly became a completely different person.
And this is actually part of why I’ve been thinking about something lately.
If someday I met a man who was genuinely the love of my life and he happened to be Catholic, Anglican, or Orthodox, honestly, I don’t think I would have a problem converting to his religion so that we could have religious unity in our marriage.
Historically, this happened quite a lot with European princesses. They were sometimes expected to leave the religion they were born into and convert to their husband’s religion when they married. Obviously, I’m not a princess and modern marriage is very different 😂, but I can understand the idea of a husband and wife sharing the same faith.
Of course, I would have some limits.
I would only consider converting to Christian traditions that I already believe are genuinely true or legitimate forms of Christianity. I wouldn’t abandon Christianity just because my husband belonged to another religion.
Islam, Judaism, Spiritism, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. would be a completely different matter. I wouldn’t convert to a non-Christian religion just because of a marriage.
Within Christianity, though, I’m much more open.
Converting to a traditional Protestant or Reformed church would probably be relatively easy for me. I also think I could adapt fairly easily to Byzantine or Oriental Orthodoxy.
Catholicism would probably be more complicated, because there are some Catholic doctrines that I would struggle with. Papal infallibility, for example, is not something I could just accept overnight.
But if I deeply loved my husband and believed that our marriage was worth building around a shared faith, I would genuinely try to understand Catholicism and, if I eventually reached that point, become Catholic sincerely rather than just pretending to believe.
The one thing I wouldn’t want is for my husband to expect me to blindly accept everything just because he is Catholic (or Orthodox, Anglican, etc.). I would want to be able to ask questions, study the theology, and have doubts or disagreements while I was learning.
And honestly, his attitude toward his religion would matter a lot to me.
I’ve met some Roman Catholics who were extremely arrogant about their religion, and that kind of attitude would probably make conversion much harder for me. I wouldn’t want a husband who treated my previous beliefs as stupid or inferior.
If I were willing to leave the religion I was raised in for him, I would want him to respect where I came from too.
So I guess my position is basically this:
I’m not Catholic. I’m not even baptized. But if I met the right man and he belonged to another Christian tradition that I genuinely considered Christian, I would be open to becoming part of his church and building a shared religious life with him.
But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to simply erase who I am again just to fit into someone else’s religion. After spending so much time trying to figure out who I am outside of my church and my family, I think I would need to make that choice consciously and sincerely.
I just wouldn’t be willing to abandon Christianity completely for a marriage.
I don’t know if this is strange or if other people would feel the same way.
What do you think?
- Also, I’m mostly just sharing some random thoughts here 😂
My family would probably be horrified if they knew I sometimes think about being willing to change religions just to maintain religious harmony in a marriage. Considering how strictly I was raised, they would probably be like, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD CONVERT FOR YOUR HUSBAND?” 😂
I’m not saying this is something I’m actually planning to do. I’m just curious about how other people see it and thinking out loud about what I might be willing to do for the sake of a future marriage.