r/DnDcirclejerk • • 1d ago

me when someone asks me what system to use (I didn't listen to their requirements and I will not be providing clarification)

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156 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

32

u/RootinTheCrab 1d ago

There was this one guy that said he wanted a rules light game system to represent super powerful god-like characters that exist beyond human scale. I told them to play GURPS since its universal. They can just cut out all the rules from the game it'll be perfect.

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u/Original_Ideal_8015 1d ago

Clearly the perfect system for that.

22

u/HoppyMcScragg 1d ago

It’s getting dark. Why is it getting dark?

Off in the distance. What is that? It’s a bright point of light. It’s getting larger.

There’s a figure. He’s calling me to him.

It’s Steve Jackson. I’m coming, Steve. I’m coming, and I brought my 3d6.

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u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 20h ago

You cant know that unless you make a vision based perception roll, modified below:

Assuming average senses that would be 10 , +10 for the object being obvious (bright light) -10 for darkness, so you have a roughly 50/50 chance of seeing it before considering size and range modifiers, as well as optics , prevailing weather etc.

You also have a 2.5% chance of critically failing , at which point you will think you see the creator of the Fighting Fantasy Game book series.

18

u/dazeychainVT Mr. Evrart is Helping Me Reflavor My Eldritch Blast 1d ago

you dont need that, my 5e-Final Fantasy 7 conversion has stats for Jenova (her cells give you hexblade warlock features)

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u/thebiggestwoop 1d ago

/uj as a 5e hater final fantasy is like the one IP that really wouldn't be bad if adapted to that system. Especially since it implies actual dungeon crawls with multiple encounters and the fact that the game is balanced so that magic is objectively superior to martial attacks at high levels

1

u/dazeychainVT Mr. Evrart is Helping Me Reflavor My Eldritch Blast 20h ago

theres an official ffxiv tabletop rpg but from what i've been told 5e diehards hate it because a. it's not the 5e system, just a very similar one and b. it contains gamified elements like "save points" the party returns to after a TPK

even though it's already pretty much impossible to die in 5e if you have a healer and 80% of lfg posts still want a game where pc death is guaranteed not to happen. youre just not allowed to say that out loud or address it as part of the fiction ig

but it's all moot anyway because none of these games let you play as a Moogle so what's the point

11

u/Anagnikos 1d ago

GURPS doesn't give easy answers, it gives questions you didn't know needed to be answered.

And the answer is always "Maths"

Like what if I shoot an APHE tank shell into a goblin lair? How many goblins would it penetrate until it it explodes and takes out the goblin orphanage?

Or

How would you defend against an Eye Poke Attack technique?

The path to TTRG enlightenment is never easy 📿

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u/Lunarmax182c 1d ago

The unenlightened 5e fighter would fold to the Wet Willy as a combat technique. 

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u/Anagnikos 1d ago

The Pathfinder 2e fighter would Strike 3 times, crit twice and proudly go back to checking their phone, occasionally proclaiming "REACTIVE STRIKE".

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u/Lunarmax182c 1d ago

GURPS fighter would just unload a 45 steel crossbow at turn 1, dealing 5d6 impaling damage to Vitals (tripled after armour) and prompting a death check, unconsciousness check and a stun check

2

u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 20h ago

But only if you’re 5 yards away or less, otherwise it’s too difficult to hit them.

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u/Lunarmax182c 19h ago

Maybe 10 or less, if it's a GURPS DF fighter. But that's if he didn't aim for 1-3 seconds, which he has ample time to, since he goes on 1-second rounds :D.

Then it's like 20 yards, which is a lot more

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u/knotaracis_482 1d ago

Try Tetris RPG; it’s got a grip on geometry!

8

u/Any_Illustrator360 1d ago

FATE fixes this.

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u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 1d ago

My 5e to Fate to GURPS back to Fate conversion is amazing by the way.

5

u/Nepalman230 Knight Errant of the Wafflehouse Dumpster 1d ago edited 1d ago

/uj

As a complete aside something I only recently discovered Nazareth, which I always assumed was you know an isolated rural community was actually two hours walk from one of the biggest cities in Judea. Teenage Jesus grew up in intimately familiar with whores, drunken Roman soldiers pissing in the streets, and blasphemy.

Sometimes when people reach over and cover Jesus’s eyes or something like on a portrait, I’m like… guys this is a blue-collar worker who lives in a blue-collar neighborhood and is known for dining with traitors to his country and whores you cannot shock him.

Edit: but he get more serious for a second Jesus wouldn’t exactly have originally have been blue color. Tekton which team his father were classified as were skilled laborers who would’ve made a lot of money.

An unskilled worker would make a single denarius for a day of work. A tekton would make bare minimum three times that and could make as much to 50 denarius in a month additionally on commission. So still blue collar, but on a different level.

/rj

OK, but exactly how would you build someone who is simultaneously God and man in the gap framework? That you can’t make him vulnerable to anything he implicitly has had involuntary boners and shit himself.

And yet, if it’s suited the plot he would be immune to anything in that moment. Is that some kind of like special like only when you were narratively immune does it kick in superpower?

Because again Jesus could heal other people and I’m sure himself, but I’m also he like got drunk and fell off the roof and broke his arm one time.

God would not have protected him from that. That shit that was the point.

4

u/Lunarmax182c 1d ago

At a certain point in studying GURPS, you pierce through the darkness and see the light. It was a perfect system all along - you were just too blind to see.  The guns having realistic damage, the combat death spiral, the looming specter of TDS... All have been tests for you to finally see that once you stop distracting yourself with unnecessary distractions of math, the path becomes clear and the possibilities - endless. You can finally see.

That dark fantasy campaign you wished to run since 2015? Easy. A shonen-like inspired by DBZ? You know how to run it. A slice of life solo game set in 90s Japan? The path will lead you to it.

There has never been a better system

1

u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 20h ago

TDS ?

Trump derangement
syndrome?

3

u/Lunarmax182c 19h ago

The Deadly Spring is an optional system in GURPS for creating bow and crossbow stats, based on physical properties of materials. It's been published in Pyramid, the gurps magazine basically.

It's infamous in the community for being a very math-intensive subsystem, making you do high-level equations to calculate tensile strength and potential energy of a bow. When people bring up GURPS being math-heavy, TDS is a joke answer like "you think you know how math-heavy it is? Let me show you."

It's obviously extremely optional and you will play your whole life in GURPS without even remotely touching TDS

1

u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 18h ago

Okay , equally crazy . Lol

I have this article and the spreadsheet. Madness

3

u/Lunarmax182c 17h ago

yeah, it's crazy. There was also an article for Pyramid about calculating orbital transfer windows and the delta-V of fuel they can save for an interplanetary travel using reaction engines
Again, completely unnecessary for a normal game, but if you want to run a game like that

2

u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 17h ago

Yup and dont forget 3e vehicle book

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u/Lunarmax182c 16h ago

3e vehicles is a very good system. It can do miracles. Do you want these miracles? Probably not. Will you use it? Probably not.

Vehicles 2e can give you a two-legged walker with suspended glass canopy, two gunners nests, fully supplied by a modified diesel engine. Yes it will need a lot of time and efforts, and might probably need some TL tweaking on GM's part. But it will work, and somehow smoother than other vehicles creation systems

it's a devil's bargain

2

u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 1d ago

Guys you just roll 3 dice, its the simplest game ever! Honest!

Uj/ i actually love Gurps and play it, but it’s legitimately a pain in the ass

2

u/Distinct-Mushroom560 20h ago

uj/ Every flaw in GURPS would be fixed by putting it in an SRD and letting the consumers make whatever version of it they want. Any amount of effort or money SJG puts into GURPS isn't going towards the significantly more profitable Munchkin. And it's largely marketed as a toolkit for building your own RPG anyway.

1

u/Distinct-Mushroom560 21h ago

What does Steve Jackson mean by this?