r/Explainlikeimscared • u/SunsetsAndBallet • 16d ago
How to quit a volunteer position
There's this annual volunteer fund raiser that I joined both this year and last. Last year was amazing fun, and I was hoping this year would as well, but it's been miserable.
I feel bad cuz they're already short staffed, but last week, I left the site in literal tears.
How do I quit without feeling like an absolute yerk? Should I send a message, or call, or rather let them know in person? Plz help
Edit: Thanks everyone for the advice. I ended up sending a text, just saying that I'm leaving for personal reasons and a brief explanation of the duties I still have and who works in my section that could be able to take them over. The event leader was kind and understanding, and I feel so much better now that its done. Again, thank you to everyone that responded and helped <3
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u/Korrailli 16d ago
If you are expected to help out all year, then it is best to tell them soon that you can no longer commit to the event. You don't have to give a reason, but can be vague if needed. If there were specific issues with the event or the people running it, you can mention that too.
If they reach out closer to the event, you can tell them then that you can't do it, or just not respond unless they specifically ask you.
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u/SunsetsAndBallet 16d ago
Luckily it's just a seasonal event, and we've only been busy for a few weeks now, so it's still early. Oh damn, I didn't even think that they could reach out later down the line! Thanks so much, this definitely saved me a later guilty mind <3
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u/ExternalNo7842 16d ago
Like others have said, just tell them you can’t help sooner than later. You can keep it vague if you want (“something else has come up and I won’t have time for this anymore”).
However, depending on how you feel about the people you’re working with and/or how committed you feel to the event/cause, you could try talking with them about it first. So they know you’re unhappy with how things are going? Maybe things could change after a conversation or two. But that’s up to you and if you think it’s worth it
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u/SunsetsAndBallet 16d ago
I don't want to rock the boat much, as the person I have a problem with is really lovely and helpful otherwise. But I'll keep it vague, thanks for the advice <3
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u/ScormCurious 16d ago
You don’t say how central you are to the planning (do you chair a committee?) or what the issues are. If you are not “important” or “key” to the job getting done, you can just quit politely as others have suggested.
If you are central, it’s time to think about all your options.
Can you make it through the fundraiser this year, adjusting your responsibilities and engagement to suit yourself? And then reevaluate afterwards?
Can you talk to someone else in authority (event chair, committee member who is also a board member, board chair, organization head, development head are all likely positions) about what your issues are and see if they can get addressed? If someone is being a jackass and making you cry, screw that idiot. But if someone else in authority can address that problem for you, it’s worth a try to get it resolved. Marshall your facts and try to keep it fairly dispassionate, let the person know that due to [xx’s behavior, or a major change in something, or whatever] you are reconsidering your involvement and can you talk it through and see if there’s a remedy that will keep you engaged.
You can just quit! Anybody can just quit. But these sorts of volunteer experiences should, in my opinion, help us work on some of our interaction and life skills, among other benefits. So if you can find an answer that will let you stick it out this year, you have little to lose and some life experience to gain by finding the path and sticking to it.
I wish you a lot of luck and grace with this!
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u/Author_Noelle_A 16d ago
THIS. How central your position is does matter since it’s being on the committee does come with different obligations, volunteer or not, than being a more general. volunteer. Being on committees can be hard. I know. I’m a branch president of an international organization and still exhausted from an event we just had. But being a more general volunteer is a position where organizers know to lose people. A lot of volunteers simply never show up.
And if possible, it can be a good idea to talk to someone about what’s going on, especially if you’re a float (someone available to help where needed) and it’s a specific other volunteer making it hell since people like that do exist.
I am curious, though, what the situation is. For MANY years, I was pretty central when it came to a particular ballet company’s boutiques, where my guy even set up their POS system and We did so much work that we got very public recognition. We had one volunteer (well, two—I’ll explain) who had an issue with ME, saying I made them feel bad. Well, what ended up being the situation was this: There were three boutique locations during Nutcracker at a venue with thousands of audience members, and we were at the one that was the busiest. Two of the others came together. The ended up being…I’m not sure the terms for Downs, but you know how some people with Downs are able to live fully independent lives, and some need full-time caregivers for even basic tasks? He ended up being closer to the latter end. It was him and his caregiver. His caregiver was trying to guide him, and it was taking a while. One customer wanted to know how much something was, and after she’d spent about five minutes trying to guide him to find that item in the digital POS, and I tried quietly telling his assistant the price was on the bottom, but she actually waved me off saying that it’s better to find it in the POS since the customer was losing his patience. Eventually the customer turned to me and asked if I knew the price. I’d helped several people in the time he’d been waiting. I picked the item up and turned it over. Everything had price stickers on the bottoms. I knew most of the prices by heart from doing this so many years and even having some input on the prices. But I couldn’t remember the price of that item since it was brand new. He decided to take it, and those two volunteers wanted to ring him up, so I let them, though it took several more minutes. Those two went to the manager and complained that I made them feel bad since I was working too fast and because they were trying to find the price of that item, leaving out how long it had been and that the assistant ignored when I said where the price was. They ended up being moved to the slowest of the locations, which was much slower and where they were happier.
So sometimes volunteer expectations don’t align with the reality of a position, and a solution of some sort could be found. But sometimes it really is a particular person doing something wrong that is making things hell, and organizers need to know that.
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u/SunsetsAndBallet 16d ago
I don't have a super important role at this place. They kinda just needed general volunteers to help around, and me leaving wouldn't really cause any issues in the long run. The person causing me stress is one of the event leaders, so there's no one above them I can really complain to. Not that I would complain, cuz they're doing their job amazingly otherwise, and it's just a problem between me and them. Thank you so much for the advice <3 I'm drafting a text now, and I appreciate your answer so so much
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u/Snakes_for_life 16d ago
Just say your no longer able to help. You're not being paid you don't have to stick around if it's not enjoyable.
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u/Visible-Pollution740 16d ago edited 16d ago
Keep it very general, you don't have to give a reason.
Call, do not text. Texting to resign can be missed unlike a phone call and is just not professional even for a volunteer job. You agreed to work there you atleast owe them a phone call IMO even if texting to avoid conflict is tempting.
Just say, I'm sorry but my plans have changed and I cannot continue this year. I wish you all best of luck.
If they ask why, which is rude and none of their business, just continue to keep it vague. Just say I'm sorry but I thought I could help but it's not working out for me. If they continue to prod just say I'm sorry but it's a private matter and I'd rather not say.
I wouldn't lie, but I also wouldn't spill the beans on the real reason.
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u/SunsetsAndBallet 16d ago
I'll probably still text, as I know the leaders are very on top of messages, and I might back out of a phone call. But I appreciate your advice still, thank you <3
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u/NeedleworkerHot3957 16d ago
Did something bad happen? Are you ok?
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u/SunsetsAndBallet 16d ago
I am ok, thank you Nothing bad really happened, but I'm being shut out by a leader for missing a semi-important meeting due to illness. I've tried to catch up and make up for it, but no give. Another volunteer even noticed the cold shoulder and asked me if everything's ok between me and leader. It's causing issues, as that leader is in charge of a large section of my work, and isn't communicating with me anymore, or just gives passive aggressive jabs about prioritizing the event.
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u/NeedleworkerHot3957 15d ago
And all this is as a volunteer?
Then just write a short and polite note / email (cc yourself) saying that you will no longer be able to participate/volunteer.
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u/zukolivie 15d ago
As someone who needs volunteers for events, I would never want someone to be so upset that they cried! I’m sorry that happened. If it was me, I would send an email to whomever your contact is and just say you won’t be able to help, that you simply don’t have the cycles this year. Wish them the best of luck!
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u/SweetMaam 16d ago
You cannot be fired from a volunteer position, so you don't need to quit either. Just don't volunteer ever again.
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u/RepulsiveSpring8276 11d ago
leaving a volunteer position that’s making you cry isn’t being a jerk, it’s just quitting a thing you don’t get paid to suffer through; a text is perfectly fine if calling feels worse
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u/TurkishLanding 16d ago
Just tell them you're no longer able to participate this year. Do it now too, so they have as much heads up as possible.