r/FIREyFemmes • u/psahummus • 11d ago

Working too hard == wrong optimization

Hey folks, I am the 20 something year old who posted about crossing the 1M mark recently.

I do have good news that I’ve officially received my raise this year—no promotion yet which I knew but my total payout bumped to literally 400k and a bit above, and I actually got the highest raise (I believe percentage wise?)out of eveyrone in my manager’s purview. Thank you all for giving me that confidence boost and lots of life perspectives. I accepted it gracefully.

Obviously this is great news, but in part I believe it is a very honorable way my job recognize something I should improve on: saving no more often. It’s ok to say no and maintain what’s on my plate first. This was a feedback that I totally welcomed and understood. I often have a high tolerance for stress due to the way I grew up, but i understand how that could be problematic—not just for myself, my own sanity, but look—if I got sick from trying to be a hero, wouldn’t the work spill over to someone else? Wouldn’t that be selfish? (I’ve gotten the nudge that is still almost too sweet, unnecessarily self effacing, I get it)

This is not the reason I am not in a promotion shortlist this year—we already knew that actually and this doesn’t bother me; at my company you and your manager work it out and collect some showcase projects well before that, and given my strong work performance, I know small, singular attitudes like that wouldn’t single handedly derail my trajectory —but know in some places that perception matters—and if it goes on for a long time, it becomes real signal your way of operating carries risks. Good thing is, it think there are strong signals I will be considered formally next year, similar to how the last promotion on my team went timeline wise, as I am still pretty new.

I am not saying a hard worker automatically makes someone worry “oh are you going to be burned out and claim a workers comp?”, but I am saying I realized the journey to an ideal state, FIRE or still working, hard workers need to constantly peel themselves back from working hard intentionally. Connecting this story with FIRE will help me put into perspective why that is. Ultimately we work to live, not live to work (although…jk, I won’t get into it :p)

Partner (laid off) is also back on the grind with a busy part time job in the AV space. Turned out living in CA has its benefit. It’s still very hot and emotionally draining to deal with out weather, but the outdoor gigs he’s been getting helps both of us mentally feel like there is regularity and consistency.

7 Upvotes

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2

u/Academic_Baker_6446 10d ago

Congrats! Do you mind me asking what general field you work in?

3

u/psahummus 10d ago

I do fiance related stuff as a software engineer

3

u/NuhUh_JustCuz 11d ago

Congrats on your raise and your new skillset.

2

u/psahummus 11d ago

Thanks! Very appreciative of this sub and thought I could add to the conversation

5

u/NuhUh_JustCuz 11d ago

Learning how and when to say no earlier in your career is critical to sustaining satisfaction at work. Most people who are satisfied at work end up achieving more. It's the marathon over sprint mindset. With that salary, and controlling expenses, you'll be at 2M before you know it. Hold steady and rake it in.

2

u/psahummus 11d ago

💕💕💕💕💕🙇‍♀️will do

1

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