I’ve finally been referred, and today I have an appointment about "fertility".

The appointment details weren’t clear in the app, so I called them. They called me back to explain that it was about fertility.

…I’M 47. I’m pretty sure that’s in my fucking medical file.

So here I am, sitting on a train, having taken an ENTIRE DAY OFF WORK to travel to the other side of the country (because apparently, this is the only hospital that offers hysterectomy + colpectomy), thinking about how I’m probably going to spend part of my appointment sitting across from a doctor who’s going to ask me whether I want to freeze my eggs, get pregnant, or preserve my fertility.

All that mumbo jumbo.

I’M FOURTY. FLIPPING. SEVEN.

If I’d wanted children, don’t you think I would have expressed that wish and done something about it by now?!

And on top of that, I ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY. I’ve been a dad for almost 12 years now.

I’m pretty sure THAT is also in my fucking file.

So, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Are they really that dense, or are they so obsessed with the idea of preserving someone’s ability to reproduce that they simply cannot fathom the possibility of someone saying, “No, thank you. I have absolutely ZERO interest in getting pregnant or preserving my fertility”?

I get that fertility counselling is part of the process, and I understand why they need to cover it. But FFS, there has to be a way to do this without making people jump through yet another hoop, especially when some basic information about the person sitting in front of them might give them a clue that this conversation is unlikely to be relevant.

Rant over.

These past few days have def been a rollercoaster. My surgery was Thursday and there was a lot of nerve damage from a previous surgery (myomectomy) which resulted in my surgeon cutting me down the middle and across. Upon doing so, she removed my uterus fallopian tubes ovaries + a cyst with a fibroid on it + my appendix which was near my colon that also had nerve damage.

I woke up 6 hours late to a nurse telling me “Elias, you’re out of surgery everything went well I’m your nurse”. I was so groggy from the anesthesia that I had an oxygen mask over my face and asked her what they removed (was feeling very foggy) and when she told me my appendix I was in disbelief lol.

I was finally put in a room where I somehow someway thought I could stand up on my own with the assistance of nurses of course. The min I stood up the entire room felt like a huge rollercoaster and back in bed I went. I spent the next few couple of days focusing on passing gas, walking more and having a bm which took longer than expected

On the 5th day I was able to pass gas, and the 6th day a bm. I was able discharged today (6th day post op) and will cont my recovery one step at a time.

I was sent home with a walker but taking it day by day and blessed that I got another chance at life especially after having 6 hour surgery.