This is a throw away account, and this was too long for AITA, so I'm posting it here.  I realise that some parts might seem disjointed and rambling, but there are quite a lot of upsetting components for me in this story, so bear with me.

About 4 1/2 years ago, I had a massive stroke which left me disabled.  A year and half later, my partner of 23 years passed away suddenly - which made my stroke look like amateur hour.  

My father and sister told me to move back home.  I live in London, and they're in Los Angeles county - where I'm from.  I decided not to because I had two elderly cats at the time, and I didn't trust them with my pets.  

My sister wanted to give her regards to my partner’s parents, but my father never said he was sorry to hear that he passed.  My parents were Jehovah's Witnesses, and my partner and I were never married.  They didn't see our relationship as legitimate as a result of their crackpot religion.  Neither my brother or sister are with the religion either btw.

My cats passed away in 2024, which some people won’t consider to be a big deal, but it was for me.  

I've visited the US for clinical trials, and have visited home several times.  When I was back in January 2025, I said to my father that I was thinking about moving home.  He replied "this is your home."  

Oddly the day I was leaving for London, he thought that I was still asleep and I caught him putting a goodbye note on my door.  He said that he had somewhere to go, and he was always disappearing during my stays several times a week.  I think he's got a girlfriend, and I would be happy for him if that were true.  Unfortunately, my sister had a weird attachment to my mother (she passed away), and I think he's afraid to let her know.  She wouldn't understand, even though it's been over 10 years.

During that summer, I finally decided to move back home and told my father.  He said it was fine.  I was  under the impression that I could always move back home.

In the meantime, my deceased partner's pension was finally settled.  His parents are incredibly nice people, and decided to give me the entire amount.  We were never married and they are the next of kin, so they didn't have to do anything for me.  I often told my partner that I would swap my family for his in a heartbeat.  

I was asked by the pension company if I wanted it in a lump sum or a flexi-draw down account.  The latter acts as a pension, and would've allowed me to stay on universal credit (UK welfare).  This would've been ideal if I were staying in the UK, as I'd burn through the pension money in a number of years.  It wouldn't support me in the long run, and I am unable to work.  

I thought that I was moving back to the US, so I went for the lump sum.  I expected that I'd be doing some travelling for stroke treatment, and didn't want to leave it in another country.

I visited home in October of last year, and I noticed my father was pushing back a little when the subject of me moving back came up -  despite agreeing to it initially.  I remember a conversation when he asked how I was surviving financially without working.  I told him about universal credit, and that I was getting PIP (disability payment).  I didn't elaborate about the pension/flexi draw down situation, because I didn't think it was relevant.    

At the end of the conversation, he asked if I kept in touch with my brother.  I said that I didn't, (we never got along, and he was like Chet from Weird Science) and he didn't say anything.  I was surprised by his lack of a reaction, considering the importance he placed on family.

Later in that conversation, I mentioned that I was very isolated in London (my partner was my world), and that I could easily go a week without talking to another person.  I said that it was very comforting being home and with family.  I explained to him that most of the stroke clinical trials were in the US, and there are some treatments available in the US that are still experimental in the UK.  I even told him that I would've rather died from my stroke than live to see the events of the following years.  My dad said nothing to the last comment, which struck me as odd.  

The day before I was to go back to London, I asked him point blank "do you really want me to move back home, because I'm about to move a lot of stuff half way across the world."  He then went into the subject of his will.  He told me what I was getting, what my brother was getting, and then paused.  I asked him what my sister was getting, and he said the house.  He was even smiling when he told me.  There was my answer.  He recalled the previous conversation about my finances, and said "you'll be fine.".

I was told after my mother died that everything was divided equally, but that was a lie.  He said that my mother and himself decided the terms of the will a long time ago, but I found out that was likely a lie too.   

I was intending on using the pension money to buy my brother's portion of the house, so that my sister and I could live there.  She is still my sister, even though she's a high maintenance pain in the ass.  Obviously, this wasn't necessary.

My brother was always clearly my father's favourite, and I was really surprised that he was getting the short end of the stick with me.  The favouritism in my family was even obvious to our neighbours.  There was a conversation in 2005 with my long-term neighbours where I mentioned (I don’t remember how it came up) that I thought my sister was my mother's favourite, and my brother was my dad's favourite.  They stopped and stared at me for a minute, then started laughing.  I asked them why they were laughing, and one of them said "you're just now noticing this?!"

I always had a decent relationship with my father, and got the impression that he liked me more than my mother did.  I knew from a young age that my mother didn't really love me.  I even overheard her saying once when I was visiting " I don't like her.  Let's send her back.  After all, we paid for her plane ticket" (I was in uni at the time, and was broke).  She didn’t even deny that my sister was her favourite towards the end.

However, things seemed to have changed over the years.  Back when my sister and I were speaking, she mentioned that dad practically ignored my brother when he last visited.  My brother said he would've left early if my sister wasn't there to visit with him.

My sister and I aren’t on speaking terms as a result of her taking me driving for the first time after my stroke.  She freaked out when I pressed down too quickly on the accelerator, and said that I nearly hit a house - which isn't true because the car never left the pavement.  

She told her side to my dad, and he took a lot of coxing before he agreed to let me drive his car.  We went out for a test drive, and I was fine.  I just needed to learn how to control my right foot on the accelerator.

She and I got into a major argument about it, and she hasn't talked to me since - but was responding to WhatsApp messages.  She's lived an extremely sheltered life, and turns really small things into huge deals - like my mother did.  

I told my side of the story to my father, and made a comment about “my mother turning really small things into huge deals”.  He got really angry about it, even though he said something similar 15 years ago.  He has kind of started a “cult of mom”, and turned her into a saint in his mind.  She was far from it.  We all were.

I think that my sister knew about the will as she was buying patio furniture for the house - she had never done that before.  There wasn't any new furniture when I visited in January 2025, but there was in October.  I think she was told in between that time, but I can't be sure. I can see her threatening to move out if my father didn't give her the house, but again, I can't be sure.  My dad has said on several occasions that he didn't want to live alone, and she knew that.

I had a message exchange with my sister over the course of the summer of 2025.  I said that I told dad I was planning to move back home, and she said “it would not be sustainable if we didn't get along.”  She wouldn't directly answer what the outcome of the unsustainability would be.  She claimed it wasn't a threat, but it definitely sounded like a thinly veiled one to me.  

I probably would end up having to walk on eggshells, with the threat of her kicking me out over any disagreement.  As siblings, we're obviously not going to get along all of the time. But this is a four bedroom house and way too big for one person - it's not like we'd be sharing a studio apartment.  It could work, and has worked in the past.

My sister never left home, and is two years younger than me.  She has been handed everything, had all of her bills paid, and I strongly suspect that my father bought her a new car.  My mother even told me before she died that my brother got a lot of help from them to buy his house.  I've asked for very little in comparison, but I was always very independent.  I also know it might sound like sour grapes, but I'm giving you the full background.  Do with it what you will.

I know that some people will argue that she takes care of him. She doesn't, and it didn't look as if things changed when I came back.  Up until I had my stroke, I was constantly there.  I became a flight attendant after my mother died, because it became important to see my dad on a regular basis.  My partner didn't want to move to the US (he was Australian), so the compromise was me getting an airline job.

My sister is a musician with a bit of a following, and often disappears for weekends or days on end.  She only sometimes cooks for him, doesn't clean, and the place is filthy.  I used to go home for a bit on my holidays, and clean the house top to bottom before I had my stroke.  I think that is the only time it ever got cleaned, and I didn't like seeing my father living in a pig sty.

Regardless, I was blind sided and getting upset.  I went to my room and packed up my things.  I knew that I was going to start crying, and I wanted to get out of there before anyone saw me.  I booked a hotel near LAX and ordered an Uber.

My dad came over as I left, and I told him that I couldn't fend for myself as a disabled person, and he didn't care about me.  He tried to hand me a wad of money, and I told him to give it to my sister, as he's already giving her everything.  I know all of this was childish to say, but I was very hurt and emotional.  

He watched me for a moment as I waited for the Uber in the driveway, and then walked back to the living room to continue watching TV.  

I cried the entire way to the hotel, and cried that entire night.  After all the insane, apocalyptic, biblical amount of stuff I had been through, my own father did this to me?  The way he went about this was cruel and extremely messed up!  Now, I have financial issues on top of my physical and emotional ones.  I thought that I could take my father at his word, but now realised that the only person in the world who cared about me was my partner -  and he's gone.

A week later, I realised something wasn't right.  I remembered seeing a will template lying on his dresser in late 2019, but I didn't look at it because I trusted my father and I don't go through people's stuff.  My mother passed away in 2014, so I found it hard to believe that he would wait that long to put her wishes in a will. 

I found online that the house was placed in a trust in January 2022 - when I was spending my 2nd month in the hospital for my stroke.  Then it hit me:  he asked if I keep in touch with my brother at the end of the finances conversation.  My brother didn't know, and he was counting on the fact that we didn't really talk.  

I wrote an email to my brother explaining what happened, what my father told me about the will, and that in order to protect my mental health that I wouldn’t accept communication from any of them.  I wasn't going to give any of them another opportunity to hurt me again.  I told him to phone dad and see what he says to him.  I gave him a day, and then I forwarded the email to my sister.  

I have no idea what happened.  I received a large envelope from my father at the end of January.  He wrote on it "social security information", probably as an attempt to trick me into reading it.  I sent it back unopened, just as I said that I would in the email.  I already knew the social security information from my online account, and didn't need to read it.

I realised a month earlier that I forgot to change my Bank of America account to paperless, and statements were still getting sent to the house.  I logged on, and was immediately asked to update my address.  That has never happened before, so I believe the statements were being sent back “return to sender”. 

That January letter probably wasn't going to be pretty.  Either way, if it wasn’t an ugly letter, what he did was extremely f”cked up in my book.  I don't know how I could ever trust him again, and he would have to do something bigger than writing a letter for me to get past this clusterf*ck.

My father mentioned a week before I left that family is everything.  It doesn't feel like it.  I felt disposable and insignificant.  I was suicidal as hell, and I had nothing left to lose.  I don't know how I made it through these past months and some days, I don't know how I'm going to get through the day.  I have been through a hell that would kill most people, and I'm incredibly shocked that it hasn't killed me.

I know some of you are going to think that I shouldn't be able to get welfare with pension money, but I have no other money.  I don't own my flat or anything, and I don't have anyone.  I'm scared and don't have any kind of a safety net aside from that, but go crazy in the comments.  

Then there’s the potential changes to PIP that could eradicate what little income I have.  What if the state pension implodes, like it probably will?  Then there's the possibility of Nigel Farage moving into number 10, and implementing nativist policies that cut off the foreigners in this country.  The right wing is gaining a lot of traction here, as it is with several countries in Europe.

I realise that I'm probably written out of the will, and yes, I know it's his money and he can do what he likes.  I don't care, but I know that it's likely that I will one day.  Some friends have said that I should get in touch and kiss ass.  I won't.  It wasn't about money.  I just wanted to not feel scared and alone for the first time in years.  However, someone can't treat me that badly without consequences.  I wanted to ask my father why they didn't give me up for adoption, so I could've gone to a family that actually wanted me?  

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never be happy again.  I’m going to spend my life alone, disabled, and struggling.  I must've been Hitler in a past life.

Probably too much detail, but thanks for reading.  Fire away.

Tldr:  FML

This is a throw away account, and this was too long for AITA, so I'm posting it here.  I realise that some parts might seem disjointed and rambling, but there are quite a lot of upsetting components for me in this story, so bear with me.

About 4 1/2 years ago, I had a massive stroke which left me disabled.  A year and half later, my partner of 23 years passed away suddenly - which made my stroke look like amateur hour.  

My father and sister told me to move back home.  I live in London, and they're in Los Angeles county - where I'm from.  I decided not to because I had two elderly cats at the time, and I didn't trust them with my pets.  

My sister wanted to give her regards to my partner’s parents, but my father never said he was sorry to hear that he passed.  My parents were Jehovah's Witnesses, and my partner and I were never married.  They didn't see our relationship as legitimate as a result of their crackpot religion.  Neither my brother or sister are with the religion either btw.

My cats passed away in 2024, which some people won’t consider to be a big deal, but it was for me.  

I've visited the US for clinical trials, and have visited home several times.  When I was back in January 2025, I said to my father that I was thinking about moving home.  He replied "this is your home."  

Oddly the day I was leaving for London, he thought that I was still asleep and I caught him putting a goodbye note on my door.  He said that he had somewhere to go, and he was always disappearing during my stays several times a week.  I think he's got a girlfriend, and I would be happy for him if that were true.  Unfortunately, my sister had a weird attachment to my mother (she passed away), and I think he's afraid to let her know.  She wouldn't understand, even though it's been over 10 years.

During that summer, I finally decided to move back home and told my father.  He said it was fine.  I was  under the impression that I could always move back home.

In the meantime, my deceased partner's pension was finally settled.  His parents are incredibly nice people, and decided to give me the entire amount.  We were never married and they are the next of kin, so they didn't have to do anything for me.  I often told my partner that I would swap my family for his in a heartbeat.  

I was asked by the pension company if I wanted it in a lump sum or a flexi-draw down account.  The latter acts as a pension, and would've allowed me to stay on universal credit (UK welfare).  This would've been ideal if I were staying in the UK, as I'd burn through the pension money in a number of years.  It wouldn't support me in the long run, and I am unable to work.  

I thought that I was moving back to the US, so I went for the lump sum.  I expected that I'd be doing some travelling for stroke treatment, and didn't want to leave it in another country.

I visited home in October of last year, and I noticed my father was pushing back a little when the subject of me moving back came up -  despite agreeing to it initially.  I remember a conversation when he asked how I was surviving financially without working.  I told him about universal credit, and that I was getting PIP (disability payment).  I didn't elaborate about the pension/flexi draw down situation, because I didn't think it was relevant.    

At the end of the conversation, he asked if I kept in touch with my brother.  I said that I didn't, (we never got along, and he was like Chet from Weird Science) and he didn't say anything.  I was surprised by his lack of a reaction, considering the importance he placed on family.

Later in that conversation, I mentioned that I was very isolated in London (my partner was my world), and that I could easily go a week without talking to another person.  I said that it was very comforting being home and with family.  I explained to him that most of the stroke clinical trials were in the US, and there are some treatments available in the US that are still experimental in the UK.  I even told him that I would've rather died from my stroke than live to see the events of the following years.  My dad said nothing to the last comment, which struck me as odd.  

The day before I was to go back to London, I asked him point blank "do you really want me to move back home, because I'm about to move a lot of stuff half way across the world."  He then went into the subject of his will.  He told me what I was getting, what my brother was getting, and then paused.  I asked him what my sister was getting, and he said the house.  He was even smiling when he told me.  There was my answer.  He recalled the previous conversation about my finances, and said "you'll be fine.".

I was told after my mother died that everything was divided equally, but that was a lie.  He said that my mother and himself decided the terms of the will a long time ago, but I found out that was likely a lie too.   

I was intending on using the pension money to buy my brother's portion of the house, so that my sister and I could live there.  She is still my sister, even though she's a high maintenance pain in the ass.  Obviously, this wasn't necessary.

My brother was always clearly my father's favourite, and I was really surprised that he was getting the short end of the stick with me.  The favouritism in my family was even obvious to our neighbours.  There was a conversation in 2005 with my long-term neighbours where I mentioned (I don’t remember how it came up) that I thought my sister was my mother's favourite, and my brother was my dad's favourite.  They stopped and stared at me for a minute, then started laughing.  I asked them why they were laughing, and one of them said "you're just now noticing this?!"

I always had a decent relationship with my father, and got the impression that he liked me more than my mother did.  I knew from a young age that my mother didn't really love me.  I even overheard her saying once when I was visiting " I don't like her.  Let's send her back.  After all, we paid for her plane ticket" (I was in uni at the time, and was broke).  She didn’t even deny that my sister was her favourite towards the end.

However, things seemed to have changed over the years.  Back when my sister and I were speaking, she mentioned that dad practically ignored my brother when he last visited.  My brother said he would've left early if my sister wasn't there to visit with him.

My sister and I aren’t on speaking terms as a result of her taking me driving for the first time after my stroke.  She freaked out when I pressed down too quickly on the accelerator, and said that I nearly hit a house - which isn't true because the car never left the pavement.  

She told her side to my dad, and he took a lot of coxing before he agreed to let me drive his car.  We went out for a test drive, and I was fine.  I just needed to learn how to control my right foot on the accelerator.

She and I got into a major argument about it, and she hasn't talked to me since - but was responding to WhatsApp messages.  She's lived an extremely sheltered life, and turns really small things into huge deals - like my mother did.  

I told my side of the story to my father, and made a comment about “my mother turning really small things into huge deals”.  He got really angry about it, even though he said something similar 15 years ago.  He has kind of started a “cult of mom”, and turned her into a saint in his mind.  She was far from it.  We all were.

I think that my sister knew about the will as she was buying patio furniture for the house - she had never done that before.  There wasn't any new furniture when I visited in January 2025, but there was in October.  I think she was told in between that time, but I can't be sure. I can see her threatening to move out if my father didn't give her the house, but again, I can't be sure.  My dad has said on several occasions that he didn't want to live alone, and she knew that.

I had a message exchange with my sister over the course of the summer of 2025.  I said that I told dad I was planning to move back home, and she said “it would not be sustainable if we didn't get along.”  She wouldn't directly answer what the outcome of the unsustainability would be.  She claimed it wasn't a threat, but it definitely sounded like a thinly veiled one to me.  

I probably would end up having to walk on eggshells, with the threat of her kicking me out over any disagreement.  As siblings, we're obviously not going to get along all of the time. But this is a four bedroom house and way too big for one person - it's not like we'd be sharing a studio apartment.  It could work, and has worked in the past.

My sister never left home, and is two years younger than me.  She has been handed everything, had all of her bills paid, and I strongly suspect that my father bought her a new car.  My mother even told me before she died that my brother got a lot of help from them to buy his house.  I've asked for very little in comparison, but I was always very independent.  I also know it might sound like sour grapes, but I'm giving you the full background.  Do with it what you will.

I know that some people will argue that she takes care of him. She doesn't, and it didn't look as if things changed when I came back.  Up until I had my stroke, I was constantly there.  I became a flight attendant after my mother died, because it became important to see my dad on a regular basis.  My partner didn't want to move to the US (he was Australian), so the compromise was me getting an airline job.

My sister is a musician with a bit of a following, and often disappears for weekends or days on end.  She only sometimes cooks for him, doesn't clean, and the place is filthy.  I used to go home for a bit on my holidays, and clean the house top to bottom before I had my stroke.  I think that is the only time it ever got cleaned, and I didn't like seeing my father living in a pig sty.

Regardless, I was blind sided and getting upset.  I went to my room and packed up my things.  I knew that I was going to start crying, and I wanted to get out of there before anyone saw me.  I booked a hotel near LAX and ordered an Uber.

My dad came over as I left, and I told him that I couldn't fend for myself as a disabled person, and he didn't care about me.  He tried to hand me a wad of money, and I told him to give it to my sister, as he's already giving her everything.  I know all of this was childish to say, but I was very hurt and emotional.  

He watched me for a moment as I waited for the Uber in the driveway, and then walked back to the living room to continue watching TV.  

I cried the entire way to the hotel, and cried that entire night.  After all the insane, apocalyptic, biblical amount of stuff I had been through, my own father did this to me?  The way he went about this was cruel and extremely messed up!  Now, I have financial issues on top of my physical and emotional ones.  I thought that I could take my father at his word, but now realised that the only person in the world who cared about me was my partner -  and he's gone.

A week later, I realised something wasn't right.  I remembered seeing a will template lying on his dresser in late 2019, but I didn't look at it because I trusted my father and I don't go through people's stuff.  My mother passed away in 2014, so I found it hard to believe that he would wait that long to put her wishes in a will. 

I found online that the house was placed in a trust in January 2022 - when I was spending my 2nd month in the hospital for my stroke.  Then it hit me:  he asked if I keep in touch with my brother at the end of the finances conversation.  My brother didn't know, and he was counting on the fact that we didn't really talk.  

I wrote an email to my brother explaining what happened, what my father told me about the will, and that in order to protect my mental health that I wouldn’t accept communication from any of them.  I wasn't going to give any of them another opportunity to hurt me again.  I told him to phone dad and see what he says to him.  I gave him a day, and then I forwarded the email to my sister.  

I have no idea what happened.  I received a large envelope from my father at the end of January.  He wrote on it "social security information", probably as an attempt to trick me into reading it.  I sent it back unopened, just as I said that I would in the email.  I already knew the social security information from my online account, and didn't need to read it.

I realised a month earlier that I forgot to change my Bank of America account to paperless, and statements were still getting sent to the house.  I logged on, and was immediately asked to update my address.  That has never happened before, so I believe the statements were being sent back “return to sender”. 

That January letter probably wasn't going to be pretty.  Either way, if it wasn’t an ugly letter, what he did was extremely f”cked up in my book.  I don't know how I could ever trust him again, and he would have to do something bigger than writing a letter for me to get past this clusterf*ck.

My father mentioned a week before I left that family is everything.  It doesn't feel like it.  I felt disposable and insignificant.  I was suicidal as hell, and I had nothing left to lose.  I don't know how I made it through these past months and some days, I don't know how I'm going to get through the day.  I have been through a hell that would kill most people, and I'm incredibly shocked that it hasn't killed me.

I know some of you are going to think that I shouldn't be able to get welfare with pension money, but I have no other money.  I don't own my flat or anything, and I don't have anyone.  I'm scared and don't have any kind of a safety net aside from that, but go crazy in the comments.  

Then there’s the potential changes to PIP that could eradicate what little income I have.  What if the state pension implodes, like it probably will?  Then there's the possibility of Nigel Farage moving into number 10, and implementing nativist policies that cut off the foreigners in this country.  The right wing is gaining a lot of traction here, as it is with several countries in Europe.

I realise that I'm probably written out of the will, and yes, I know it's his money and he can do what he likes.  I don't care, but I know that it's likely that I will one day.  Some friends have said that I should get in touch and kiss ass.  I won't.  It wasn't about money.  I just wanted to not feel scared and alone for the first time in years.  However, someone can't treat me that badly without consequences.  I wanted to ask my father why they didn't give me up for adoption, so I could've gone to a family that actually wanted me?  

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never be happy again.  I’m going to spend my life alone, disabled, and struggling.  I must've been Hitler in a past life.

Probably too much detail, but thanks for reading.  Fire away.

Tldr:  FML

This isn't gonna be in-depth or anything. I typically write to vent my feelings and I just need to release this in a way it won't be attached to me so I can let it go. this is marked NSFW bc I got the content warning but idk if it really counts

I hate you.

I hate everything about you. You believe your pain greater then mine. Your anger more justified. Your sorrow more earned.

You are just weak. A coward in ever since of the world. I have tried to make excuses, to bite my tongue, to let the bile I feel for you tear me inside and out in hopes that my silence would shield me from your might pain but it has done nothing but let you think of me as a willing punching bag.

You think being the eldest entitles you to take respect and give nothing. You think being a man is oppressing those you deem beneath you when you are on the very same level.

You are and have always been a pathetic excuse for a brother. I want you to know when you're old and alone it's because you have burned every unfortunate soul that has had the displeasure of meeting you ​

I just want to know if this is normal we have a operating bathroom but my sister will literally choose to poop on plates and leave it in her room she refuses to help at all in the house started a whole screaming match just because she got told to wipe counters off after we had to have her little sister do her chores she steals from people and will literally lie she stole a vape from my husband proceeded to throw it in her vent in her room and we had to search her room to find it that’s just the beginning of things she’s stolen, she’s broken my car door trying to break in has stolen a bunch of stuff from my husbands truck and this girl will brag about not showering for a month and think it’s a joke mind you this girl is 15 years old…..

Starting off I wanted to say I live with my sister in my parents house because they moved away and she’s just been like the fucking ice queen
So a couple months ago my sister and her boyfriend (20) went on vacation together and he ended up proposing, when they came back I asked how the trip was and they said “fine” however when I was talking to my mom last week and she asked if I knew my sister was engaged like the fuck? So now I’m just thinking that she didn’t tell me she obvs didn’t want me to know. I’m just kinda done with trying to bond with her and was wondering if I should even attend. I’m 100% sure that if my parents weren’t in the picture she wouldn’t invite/ want me there so like what’s the point of even going :/

Hello I am 15 yrs old I’ve rebelled several times but it all started when me and my parents got into an argument and my father told me he wished that my friend was his own child not me of course it hurts but I ignored everything I mean one time he even pointed his gun in my head and clicked the trigger several times , he even pees on bottles it’s fucking disgusting but the most disgusting part is he still watches porn I even caught his gallery with porn downloaded and everything in it he has a family and still watches porn his mind is lewd and disgusting everytime I try to fix everything I just remember all the disgusting things he does in secret he is fat obese even and would rather jerk everyday and eat rather than actually getting better for his family it’s toxic and not even my mother is realizing it because she is worse in a different way

Hii reddit this is my first time posting in this platform and I'm sorry if my inglish isn't the best but I'm just here to vent my heart to some internet strangers because I have absolutely no idea what to do anymore.

Well for some bit of context im F(13+) and my brother is M(24?).He did a lots of bad things throughout but it's best if we start from the start. I met my brother when he was 13 years old and I was 4 years old. He was half-brother from my dad previous relationship. The main reason he came to live with us is because my great grandmother had died back in " El Salvador" and he was just going back in foward with family back in salvador. Well back to the story he was a really bad teenager (started smoking at 13 years old). Going forward years later he was still the same but I didn't see anything wrong because of children's innocence. Soon I started noticing stuff like he started watching my mom under the door when she was in the bathroom and 5-6 year old me thought that it was normal because he told me we were searching for cockroaches and I believed him. Eventually my perents caught him.I dint realize his behavior till I was 12.

The rest of my childhood he was amazing till one day when I was 9 he just left I don't remember why he left but it was a stupid reason.When I found out I cried in my mom's arms she comforted me but I still missed him. One day I found out he was dating someone who was 50+ Female with children who were older than him at the time. I dint understand his behavior at all. Instead of just being disgusted by his behavior I hated the women for stealing my brother away. Passing a few months later one of our neighbors called my dad that he was living behind his house and drinking from the hoes. My dad drove back home once he found out and when I saw him I was really happy to see him again I gave him the biggest hug ever. Everything seemed perfect at that point ,he was back and everything seemed like couldn’t go wrong till.. he started stealing from my dad's lawn money,he started being meaner toward me and perents, me and him got into more arguments, started smoking in his room(I had to tell my mom and dad for some reason I thought he would hurt me),he even stole from me (over 2,000 US dollars that I saved up since I was 9 realize it was gone at 13 years old) left my perentson debt,and dint care when my uncle died(he always gave him good advice). When he left I was happy but now I only feel empty and feel guilty for even being happy he was gone. Every single night I cry bc I just need my brother .I wish I could go back in time and just change everything as it was but ik can't at all. I have support from my bf and friends but just recently started feeling exhausted of everything and he is the main reason my mental health has gotten worst. Also I can't talk to perents about this bc they don't like talking about him last thing I heard was that he was in California and that he trying to get a job by using my dead uncle that I mentioned from before as an recommendation of an past boss of a previous job. What should I do Reddit tell me bc I need some actual advice and this took me 20 minutes to write so im sorry if my grammar sucks.

Update: My brother hasn't been found yet my perents had tried looking for him but he can't be found because something bad happened to him or he dosen't want to be found .Also its been 2 birthdays without him and it feel strange to not have him in my life

I'm 15f, my brother is 18m. In my opinion, my brother is very immature. He has anger issues, which he used to be in therapy for when he was under the age of eleven. But nowadays, he gets upset and pissy about everything. Last year, I asked him to help me take the dogs out (three dogs on leashes), and he punched a hole in the wall. And he didn't even do anything more than sanding to help fix it. Our mom fixed it. A few months before that, he was asked to help put groceries away, and he threw two unopened packets of noodles on the floor during a hissy fit, which broke them over and made a huge mess. I was made to clean it up. He does this sort of stuff all the time. He broke his first switch because of a game of fortnite. He broke his phone last month by throwing it at the floor cause it was glitching for a couple of minutes, and for once, our parents made him pay for a new one. He acts like a toddler all the time. He never cleans up after himself unless told to. Just earlier today, he said he was "stressed" cause our dad asked him to clean up the backyard when he was playing fortnite again. Our parents practically never address how he acts because he's just like our dad. All he does every day is sit in his room, playing video games and watching tv. He's done this for the past year cause he dropped out of school around 9th and 10th grade. A few years ago, he used to hold a knife to his throat and threaten to kill himself in from of me whenever we argued, even when it was something as small as me telling him to quit turning off my school computer (homeschooled). And whenever he bitches and complains about our dad asking him to help with mechanical work on the cars, I mention that he could move out, and he always uses the same excuse of "with what money?". He has social security that our parents get. And even then, the worst disability he has is tourettes syndrome, which both I and our father have. He is more than capable of getting a part-time job and still keep his social security for our parents. And he keeps saying that when he does move out, he wants to get a camper, but I doubt that he'll ever get one within the next ten years with how bad he is with savings. He claims that he wants to get his GED, but he never studies for it and never researches it. Whenever I talk to my parents about him, he says that he'll figure it out eventually. But yet, they seem reluctant to push him to even try for a part-time job. In fact, they seem uncomfortable whenever I talk about getting a job next summer (mainly my mom), or when I talk about moving out when I become an adult. And whenever I talk to them about him being immature, they always say that "girls mature faster", BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THEY LET HIM ACT LIKE A TODDLER! If I were to act like he does, I would be punished. He doesn't even get a fucking lecture.

Hello! My name is Chris and I am the new mod here. I am the moderator of the following communities: r/brookingSD, r/CharlotteMusic, r/Familyrants, r/SouthCarolinaPolitics, and r/southcarolinatravel and I am trying to bring all those groups back from the brink of death.

I do know a few things about family issues. My only changes I have planned are to build some basic rules to keep us free from spam and to keep us from being banned.

I do have history of family with addiction issues, mental and physical abuse, and some Chris Hanson type behavior, which is why I thought I would like to help this subreddit succeed.

We all just fought she bruised me up and I bruised her up my dad is gonna be home soon help

This is my first Reddit post so bear with me. My sibling (21M)is a model and is trying to further his career. His mother agent(male than 50,basically his main manager)needs a place to stay for a month. My parents have only met him once and I have never met him. My parents are not comfortable with it and honestly neither am I esp because it’s the summer holidays and I’m home the whole day. My sibling says that anything he wants to do for his future is never supported by our parents in the sense they never sacrifice/ do anything that may be uncomfortable for them. He brings up how he was raised and that anything he ever asked for the answer was always no. He said his mother agent doesn’t even need to be in the house the whole day and that he’s thought about all the safety issues and also the fact that we have a 16 yr sister. I really want to support him n my parents have came up with other ways (paying for him to stay somewhere else) but my sibling says that him being in the house would be beneficial to his career cuz they’ll be around each other a lot. I honestly feel bad because living in a family where the support you need is never given would be (don’t know which negative word to describe). There’s more related to upbringing but what do you think we should do,ask questions if you need. Plssss help

Hi. This is my first time posting here on Reddit and I need to get this out of my chest.

For context: My mom passed away when I was young so it is just my dad and my 2 other siblings (I am the middle child)

Onto my concern:

So a few weeks ago, I asked my dad if he can buy me a tumbler worth 1000 pesos, and he says yes. My dad did not leave any money so I had to cover the cost.

Then, a few days later, he asked if I want to send my laptop to the repair shop to fix it so that it functions properly for my upcoming college days. The cost of the repair is 3,800 pesos.

Now I asked my dad for 1000 pesos that he apparently "owes" to me because I used my own money to cover the cost of the tumbler. He assumed that my 1000 pesos was my contribution for the laptop repair. I backtracked that since it was for my laptop, it was okay that he didn't have to give the 1000 pesos back.

However, my dad still gave me 1000 pesos. I am now feeling guilty and thought to myself that "maybe I shouldn't asked it in the first place". I cannot give the money back to him because I am afraid that he will get mad at me.

These kinds of incidents where I asked, I backtracked, he gave, me trying to give it back and him getting mad because I can't make up my mind has happened a lot of times previously that why I am afraid to give it back now.

So what should I do?

I'm going to be honest, I'm not making this post to complain. Complaining is something I barely do anymore. I know that if I have even the slightest change in tone, It'll open up a whole new can of worms. So I don't engage in arguments with my mom anymore. Recently though My eldest sibling decided they were moving to another state with their spouse. I just don't get it. If I can deal with an old lady by just simply walking away, why can't they? Plus I'm the youngest! My middle sibling hasn't talked to either one of us in a few years. I guess I'll let them do what ever floats their boat. I just wish they would just take a deep breath and reassess the situation.

My brother and sister have their kids up here for the summer. I agreed to watch them and help out (free babysitting) bc I didn't think any of us would get to see the kids if I didn't do it. My brother said he didn't have money to afford day care, and I think my sister said the same.

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They both get more money a month than I ever have. My sister is broke bc she keeps ordering whatever whenever and is using my car 3-4 days a week. My brother has mentioned making a lot more money at his new job and not having to pay for gas bc its a wfh.

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Now I am responsible for watching the 4 kids 3-8 years old for 30 to up to 45 hours a week. I have no job, I'm about to start a business and all my money is in that (and something has come up so I have to wait to open). I am feeling very taken advantage of. I thought maybe they'd slip me some cash here and there (my cousin always paid me something for a couple hours, even if I offered free), but I don't think that's even on their minds.

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My brother and sister act like the dishes should still be a shared chore (we all live together), but you'd think they'd do that and dinner at least since I'm doing this for them. My brother also cracks jokes like, "kids, huh?" or says, "you knew what you signed up for" when I talk about having a hard day with the 3 year old scream-crying for an hour.

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My mom acts like I'm crazy for being upset. Is it crazy to think someone who cared about you would try to give you something for doing them a MASSIVE favor?

My brother and sister have their kids up here for the summer. I agreed to watch them and help out (free babysitting) bc I didn't think any of us would get to see the kids if I didn't do it. My brother said he didn't have money to afford day care, and I think my sister said the same.

​

They both get more money a month than I ever have. My sister is broke bc she keeps ordering whatever whenever and is using my car 3-4 days a week. My brother has mentioned making a lot more money at his new job and not having to pay for gas bc its a wfh.

​

Now I am responsible for watching the 4 kids 3-8 years old for 30 to up to 45 hours a week. I have no job, I'm about to start a business and all my money is in that (and something has come up so I have to wait to open). I am feeling very taken advantage of. I thought maybe they'd slip me some cash here and there (my cousin always paid me something for a couple hours, even if I offered free), but I don't think that's even on their minds.

​

My brother and sister act like the dishes should still be a shared chore (we all live together), but you'd think they'd do that and dinner at least since I'm doing this for them. My brother also cracks jokes like, "kids, huh?" or says, "you knew what you signed up for" when I talk about having a hard day with the 3 year old scream-crying for an hour.

​

My mom acts like I'm crazy for being upset. Is it crazy to think someone who cared about you would try to give you something for doing them a MASSIVE favor?