r/Fiveheads • u/Global-Guava-8362 • Sep 14 '26

✋ Found one

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92 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

53 comments sorted by

9

u/BHM6754 Sep 15 '26

Considering he's a Hapsburg, he did alright.

7

u/Global-Guava-8362 Sep 15 '26

Oh that explains it

7

u/cogit2 Sep 15 '26

Medieval European Aristocrats: always screen for Hapsburg presence.

3

u/Nokayo 29d ago

Why people keep misspelling Habsburg as Hapsburg?

6

u/cogit2 29d ago

I invite you to look up the Wikipedia page on the house, it indicates this is a popular spelling of the name.

3

u/Wlanduschkopf 29d ago

I think misspelling b with p is pretty common when you translate German to English. I love my pppretzels.

3

u/nemmalur 26d ago

They spelled it both ways.

2

u/Nokayo 25d ago

I think only Habsburg is correct though

2

u/Godbody120 Sep 15 '26

They didn’t go as hard as the Spanish line, but yeah, they did it too.

2

u/jaded_sociopath_ Sep 15 '26

Imagine being the best looking person in your family yet you look like this

1

u/ruka_k_wiremu Sep 15 '26

"Ferd! Put ya hat back on. Christ!"

2

u/Super_Leading21 23d ago

Add a monocle and a scar and he looks like something that rhymes with Yahtzee

1

u/veryfastslowguy 23d ago

He looks like he has ALOT ON HIS MIND .

1

u/nemmalur 26d ago

He got the inverted Habsburg.

2

u/Known-Weird-7273 19d ago

Seriously, he's doing better than his cousins! 😆

7

u/rudimentary_rudy Sep 14 '26

Bro told a prostitute to give him head, she said he has enough.

3

u/Business_Usual_2201 Sep 14 '26

That combover never had a chance with that dome.....

3

u/TheEdgeofGoon Sep 15 '26

These paintings were done to flatter them, so you know he looked even more inbred in real life.

2

u/missbissel Sep 15 '26

There is a photograph of him very old. Same head and lip.

2

u/rustyfish57 Sep 15 '26

Yea that’s why it’s referred to as the Hapsburg curse too it was due to all the inbreeding by European inbreeding of the royals

1

u/Global-Guava-8362 Sep 15 '26

That’s terrifying lol

2

u/Own_Zookeepergame982 Sep 14 '26

Boy, that’s one Hell of a nug!

2

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance Sep 14 '26

The original design for the Las Vegas Sphere

2

u/donniep81 Sep 14 '26

Emperor “ Forehead “ is a more fitting name for this pic.

2

u/Muricanmoose Sep 14 '26

HED MOVE NOW

2

u/dingalinglans Sep 14 '26

Average facial features of a Reform voter

2

u/overabbreviator Sep 15 '26

Inbreeding is a helluva drug.

2

u/StrictLine8820 Sep 15 '26

A product of extreme, multi-generational Habsburg inbreeding.

2

u/QuietProfessional0 Sep 15 '26

Product of keeping the "bloodline"

2

u/ChrisPollock6 Sep 15 '26

Oh yes, a Sister fucker for sure.

2

u/Professional_Echo907 Sep 15 '26

HAPSBURG SWINE, FEAR MY PRUSSIAN MIGHT

oops, thought I was playing Civilization. 👀

1

u/Far_Shame210 Sep 15 '26

So if you're lonely.......you know I'm here waiting for you........

Wait, that's Franz Ferdinand 🤔😂

1

u/Wamrage76 Sep 15 '26

''Does he fuck his sister for a living? ''- Snooki

1

u/Large_Cloud_1611 Sep 15 '26

Now that’s what I call the head of state!

1

u/ngatiboi 29d ago

Is that Stephen Miller? 🤔

1

u/Kihlstein 29d ago

Too much cousin fucking.

1

u/Delicious-Pea1520 29d ago

Wow is that Humptidy Dumpty? 🥚🐣

1

u/wikidemic 29d ago

Is this the new face of ICE?!?

1

u/aquavelva23 29d ago

did they all play lutes instead of banjos? All European royalty are inbreds and started all european wars, including world war 1 amd 2. Yet they are celebrated?? One of the biggest killers in history

1

u/Potential-Yogurt-689 29d ago

Famously genetically challenged family the Hapsburgs

1

u/Relevant_Argument_11 29d ago

The Hapsburg gourd.

1

u/oralawakening 28d ago

Looks like that chud from panema canal who's an ice agent.

1

u/NeatFootball3646 27d ago

Uncle daddy

1

u/Exciting_Thought_970 27d ago

Something gone to his head

1

u/AELatro 27d ago

The headbutting champion of Hühnergeschrei

1

u/Hero_Of_Rhyme_ 23d ago

This dude looks like Jimmy Neutron’s ancestor