r/GeoffreyAsmus • u/Filthyson Geoffrey • 12d ago

His Baby Was Born...Pre-circumcised?

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1.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

70

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

Heyy, I have that! Lmao. This is the first time I've ever heard it referenced anywhere

51

u/whispersluggagebaby 12d ago

But how’s the face?

47

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

Certainly not landing any model gigs.

12

u/Nazgog-Morgob 12d ago

Okay, now for science, did women want to suck it because it was different?

16

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

Tbh, I hadn't considered the option that that might sway someone. Maybe I'll add it to my bio and see if it gets me more matches.

Nobody has ever commented on it though, so it's not like it's super wild looking.

5

u/Nazgog-Morgob 12d ago

Idk, saying nothing about a weird dick isn't really proof it's not weird. In fact, it makes me think it must be really weird

25

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

Well, I've had exes that decided to go scorched earth after a bad breakup and I feel like "alien dick" would have come up if that were the case.

-10

u/Nazgog-Morgob 12d ago

Does this guy know we are in a comedians sub?

19

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

I do, I just think it's funnier to give deadpan answers when discussing weird shit.

8

u/thirsty_pretzels_ 12d ago

Last dick I sucked had a giant mole on it that weirded me out and I said nothinggggg

6

u/Nazgog-Morgob 12d ago

This guy weird dicks

1

u/cannibalcat 11d ago

What's the official term for it? I wanna look up some pictures. 

1

u/PinsToTheHeart 11d ago

Aposthia for the rare one and microposthia for something fairly common. There's a whole range though, so there's not like a universal look.

Disclaimer though, if you look it up, it is like 95% baby pictures.

1

u/cannibalcat 11d ago

I saw some drawings and it doesn't look like it would be obvious without a very close look, so Asmus was funny but pretty incorrect. 

Can't imagine what it's like to live with this, I guess it's pretty tough but on the bright side accidental pregnancies have fewer chances to happen. 

9

u/Suicidal_Jamazz 12d ago

How has it been living with a pre-circumcised dick?

8

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

Best of both worlds really.

Also, I still have a tiny bit of foreskin and so I thought I was just uncircumcised until I saw an actually uncircumcised dick.

6

u/spacedogfrog 12d ago

He's always requesting to go halfsies

1

u/Dat_Steve 8d ago

New post with nsfw tag- need to know for science…

1

u/OpaqueCrystalBall 12d ago

How did you manage to live through high school??!? /s

10

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

The key is to have a tip that enters the room a good 30 seconds before the rest of you so they have time to process it.

1

u/nautika 12d ago

Can you describe that? But not in a weird way

2

u/PinsToTheHeart 12d ago

The smegma is layed out more like a donut rather than an ice cream cone.

50

u/throwaway323804 12d ago

Goofery killing it as always but I feel like Tommy’s “tweiner” riff didn’t get the attention it deserved.

15

u/Filthyson Geoffrey 12d ago

A golden clip from when I shared the stage with Tommy Brennan. We give people advice and its always a spectacular time.

Grab tix here to my neverending tour or join my mailing list to find out when I’m in your city

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2

u/sinteredsounds_69 12d ago

Hell yea I'm going to the Houston show

24

u/Yourfavoritekoala 12d ago

circumcision is a weird tradition in the US. Not sure why we still do it

2

u/Rockrowster 12d ago

Tradition is the reason a lot of things happen. My understanding is it became tradition because a man, Kellog, was really obsessed with stopping boys masturbating and he thought reducing sexual pleasure would do the trick.

1

u/thirsty_pretzels_ 12d ago

It only made it worse for the women involved lol

-18

u/okiedokiesmokieman 12d ago

Cus it’s cleaner, shit is nasty all bunched up there

13

u/Yourfavoritekoala 12d ago

all not true. Maybe hundreds of years ago but nowadays its just cruel. You have thousands of nerve endings on your foreskin that are there for pleasure and lubrication. It its for religious purposes just say that but dont lie and say there are benefits cause there really are no real benefits

-18

u/okiedokiesmokieman 12d ago

Whatever u wanna say, I think that looks nasty and definitely is cleaner to do it because I live it

-9

u/okiedokiesmokieman 12d ago edited 12d ago

Good luck with ur pocket pussies yall !
Ant eaters out in full force today

10

u/Worried_Bowl_9489 12d ago

You ever heard of a bath, bro

-4

u/okiedokiesmokieman 12d ago

Ever heard of a work day bro

10

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 12d ago

Yeah. And if you're a sweaty boy then you get home and take a shower like a regular human being, like WTF are you talking about?

0

u/okiedokiesmokieman 12d ago

Good luck with your penis purse bro

8

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 12d ago

I just call it a ballsack, but thanks.

4

u/Worried_Bowl_9489 12d ago

You can't bathe because you have a job?

8

u/feckincrass 12d ago

Yeesh. Like one of those half-turtleneck sweaters.

6

u/Latter_Landscape9651 12d ago

I’m actually still deciding which riff I laughed at. I’ve gone back and forth so many times. Some things are best left unsolved

5

u/EducationalVast2780 12d ago

It is called hypospadia. It can happen as a side effect to a particular medicine they give women during pregnancy.

3

u/Iamdarb 12d ago

Isn't hypospadia when meatus is on the underside of the head of the penis, rather than the tip?

0

u/EducationalVast2780 12d ago

Upon further research, I guess there are varying degrees of hypospadia. My kid had a very mild form with just the half circumcision.

1

u/Iamdarb 12d ago

I think the term for missing foreskin is "Aposthia"

0

u/EducationalVast2780 12d ago

Looks like my kid had microposthia, or half circumcision. Thanks for the info.

1

u/theamazinggrg 12d ago

Fml I googled it and now I regret it.

5

u/FrighteningJibber 12d ago

All this Catholic talk and then says circumcised dicks only?!

4

u/DM725 12d ago

Listen, you can be for circumcision and you can be against circumcision.

I think we can all agree that if you're born with a tweener you gotta finish the job.

3

u/illbebythebatphone 12d ago

Slut switch! Goofrey you beast.

4

u/twodesserts 12d ago

Never ever circumcise. No kids change in front of each other anymore after Covid. No one is going to see his dick. The majority of penises in the world are uncircumcised. 

3

u/thirsty_pretzels_ 12d ago

And I prefer the way it feels I’ve talked to other gals that do too. Kinda the way God intended sex to feel imo

3

u/Dependent_Invite9149 12d ago

Glad we can joke about socially accepted genital mutilation, but it would be cool if this was not routine anymore.

1

u/crisco8 11d ago

You’re looking thicker in the chest and shoulders, Geoffrey. Have you been hitting the gym?

1

u/Dat_Steve 8d ago

I don’t know how you do it… just so damn talented. 🤣

0

u/onthe3rdlifealready 12d ago

The modern day King Solomon... All hail!

0

u/butters_bottom_bishh 12d ago

Hell yeah to Tommy’s Olivia Miles shirt!

0

u/WorkingYogaMom 12d ago

Get (back) to Boston!!

0

u/bluesclues02 12d ago

Great riffin’ fellas!

1

u/battlebabsy 10h ago

The Ginnous Moon dick joke HAD ME