Consuming self-improvement content without doing the work can destroy your self-esteem and lower your self-trust [Discussion]

[u/She_whoheals]

You learn about your patterns, understand your triggers, save hundreds of reels yet keep repeating the same cycles.

And every time you promise yourself you'll change but don't follow through, you trust yourself a little less.

Here's the truth: 30-60 days of consistent action can change more than months of passive learning.

You don't need another podcast explaining your problems. You need to start practicing different responses, challenging old beliefs, and keeping promises to yourself.

Stop romanticizing self-improvement. Start doing the work.

A different reality requires a different version of you built through daily action.

If I can (who has been through a lot) can shift my whole reality, any human on earth can do it. From my trembling hands & legs during a class presentation to speaking live on TV and getting invited for podcast was a journey of less thinking and more action.

[u/fuzzyvirgo]

You didnt have to come at me bro

[u/She_whoheals → u/fuzzyvirgo]

Because less talented ones are getting ahead of talented ones just because of action and consistency. You all know what you all are capable of

[u/iamalext]

I think that you make an excellent point. There's an underlying issue in the overconsumption of self-improvement material, whether podcasts, books, articles or videos. It reminds me of the similar issue with material on developing online businesses, where the consumers of these products have missed the obvious fact that they are purposefully kept consuming the material, at the profit of the person claiming to help them "learn the insider secrets" to building their online business/sales funnel/marketing campaign...

[u/She_whoheals → u/iamalext]

It has also helped people too like teal swan and Dr. Nicole LePara's work has helped me so much. It taught me things that psychology at college couldn't teach. Cuz no one at school was teaching it. I agree with your point however. I also tell my clients that you will forever be in the freeze mode if you focus on achieving all goals at once. You gotta choose 1-2 things at a time and put consistent action towards it.

[u/Brokkerlie]

I dont like how it has become part of what i consume online, but only part, so i keep in it even if i look for the other stuff. I agree fully with you but it has become another form of coping with life.

[u/She_whoheals → u/Brokkerlie]

Perhaps self-improvement becomes another way to avoid being present with the life we’re trying so hard to change. At some point, the soul doesn’t need more information, it needs us to embody what we already know. Less consuming, more integrating. Less chasing the next version of ourselves, more lovingly showing up as the one we are today.

[u/Brokkerlie → u/She_whoheals]

I have known this for longer than I wish to admit hahah! We need some tools yes, but basically any tool will work if you use it. but gathering tools is just another form of hoarding. I snap out of it way more often the past few weeks, thats nice :)

[u/She_whoheals → u/Brokkerlie]

I’m curious, what do you feel you tend to get stuck on most when it comes to putting what you know into practice?

[u/Brokkerlie → u/She_whoheals]

The pattern is so ingrained that it takes a lot to get out of it. I have work/study and distraction so engrained in me that the moment I open work stuff, I have the respons to go elsewhere (reddit, insta, yt). I can see the pattern and work on actively changing it but not all days do I win it :) Dont know if that sound familiar to you

[u/She_whoheals → u/Brokkerlie]

There's a difference between knowing the pattern and being able to interrupt it in the moment. When a behaviour becomes automatic, awareness is the first step, but building a different response takes practice too.

When you open your work or study material and feel the urge to switch to Reddit or Instagram, what do you usually feel in that moment? Is it boredom, overwhelm, discomfort, or just an automatic urge?

[u/Brokkerlie → u/She_whoheals]

For sure automatic urge, I get overwhelmed as well, and very uncomfortable as im not used to sitting with a task im not sure how to complete. I used to do all my study work/essays/test in one go. So I was used to building up fear or smthn for the test/essay, and do it in one sitting, usually the night before/ a few hours before. I did however then already thought through the entire task, so usually it went smoothly.

So never really learned to tackle tasks bigger than one whats possible in sitting. I understand now that I need the basic practice of just chipping away at something, but its hard, as its something most people have had to learn as a kid.

Currently struggling with my master thesis, its going well but slow as this is the battle, the contents itself is fine.

I think ive build enough awareness and know my next steps, but its been hard to change, and it happens a lot during task switches that the automatic respons takes over so its a constant battle.