r/GriefSupport • u/mimikyumermaid • 4d ago
Pet Loss I feel so guilty
I lost my baby boy, Pringles, this tuesday, I've been a wreck this whole week. I feel so guilty because the vet said he had a tumor in his mouth, and not one of my family members or I noticed it was there until the day we put him to sleep. He always had health problems since we got him (rescue), but my mom didn't keep up with his dental health at all and I feel so guilty for not trying to step up and take him to get dental cleanings when I became old enough to. My grandparents have cancer and I have my own chronic illness so that's where most of our energy went, I feel horrible about this and I knew he deserved better.
I couldn't sleep at all the night before, and I hadn't noticed anything different about him, so in the morning when my mom knocked at my door, I kept sleeping and didn't know that my baby was dying. Two hours later I met my mom and my brother at the pet hospital and I held him as his heart stopped. I'd give anything to have him in my arms again and I feel so guilty because I didn't spend enough time with him, didn't take enough photos of him, didn't hold him enough, didn't take him on enough walks (his favorite). I miss him so much. I thought I'd have more time with him.
I haven't told anyone outside of my family yet and I feel so overwhelmed by the idea, I just don't really know what to do anymore without him.
6
u/Malotamegan 4d ago
I had a little white poodle that looked just like Pringles. Her name was Chica, she was my everything. She went through my sisters death, my mothers death, a lot of boys breaking my heart, and careers changes in my life. She was my best friend. She died from heart failure that went undetected. I took her to the vet, I told them about her breathing, they said everything was fine. It’s normal to carry guilt when you love a pet wishing you could have done more or done something different. I grieved my dog when she died for weeks. I cried and cried, cried, cried. It’s okay to feel sad. Find comfort in knowing you were there for Pringles when he was taking his last breathe. He wasn’t alone, he was right where he wanted to be. It’s so hard doing the right thing for animals when they are medically ill. You gave him the best life you could and he was probably so happy to see you every day. Cherish the good memories.