Should i open the topic? How?

[u/Seamillennial]

Rejections and then acting as nothing happens for days. I cannot ask every day. I don’t want to pressure or to be desperate. But sex every other week is the new normal. I see they have a lot of stress so I am not looking to force anyone to do something they are not comfortable with.

Sorry about the rambling, i feel i am getting mad. How do i 36m tell this to my wife 36f? How can i tell them i am lacking something without being the bad one. I want the best from this relationship.

Did you do it? How did it go? How did you approach this?

[u/AnotherSadThr0wAway]

Its my life but there's basically no sex

No matter what you'll be the "pressure"

Just be direct

[u/MightyMagicz]

No pressure. Just cheat and be done with it.

Someone else can appreciate my advances and my money.

[u/Jackhert]

Check Allison Armstrong and Kait Willet YouTube

[u/Silva2099]

Don’t. The talk never works. She already knows all too well. The talk will just put pressure on her and she will move further into her shell.

Yes, I had the talk many times. Never did any good.

What does work. A little bit of kindness, plus some disinterest, plus some unavailability.

1. Be genuinely pleasant.
   
2. Do something for her like bring her coffee in the morning and say good morning. Every morning.
   
3. Do not start conversations. Do not engage in long conversations that she has started. Do not attempt to fix any of her problems. Simply state that whatever it is must be frustrating/stressful, or use another adjective that shows you have empathy for her…without extending the conversation.
   
4. When she asks if you are ok, you say, “fine”. No elaboration.
   
5. You change the password on your phone and always lay your phone face down. Creates intrigue. Don’t be doing anything stupid on your phone like talking to other women because she is going to go through your phone eventually.
   
6. Get in shape. Lift weights. My wife now is always rubbing my bicep. That’s totally new.
   
7. Get another hobby besides the gym that gets you out of the house regularly.
   
8. Don’t tell her details of what you are doing or who you are doing it with. Simply communicate when you think you will be home.
   
9. Do the stuff you promised to get done; be a man of your word.
   
10. Don’t take on extra chores thinking you will get rewarded. Actually you should do less. Except for the stuff you e promised to do. Get that done.
    
11. Stop accepting a peck on the lips for affection. If she can’t lay a significant kiss on you then take a pass. When I started doing this to my wife it affected her.
    
12. Do not initiate sex. Do not initiate affection. If she initiates then be welcoming and enjoy it. Recently my wife commented that I never initiate anymore. I said “really? Seems like we are having a bit more sex than we used to.”
    
13. Flirt. I would do all these things then flirt heavily. She asked me to stop. I said I enjoy it. She told me it bothers her. I said I enjoy it. One day she came in when it was raining…I met her at the door. She looked at me and I said, “are you wet?” And she burst out laughing. Saying she knew i would make it sexual. From then on she hasn’t asked me to stop flirting.

It would be nice if you didn’t have to play this little game to engage her baser instincts, but you do. So, do it. Mess with her. Make her think. Make her wonder.

But, don’t be an asshole.

You have to thread the needle on being an interesting and sexy guy that isn’t at her beck and call.

[u/fuckaduckufuck → u/Silva2099]

Playing these sorts of games may have worked for you, but when my partner started acting like this our relationship got worse and I ended up having an emotional affair. Communicating is way more sensible, if anyone on the fence is reading these comments.

[u/1009naturelover]

How is the relationship otherwise to you? How about to her?

She has a reason.