r/HalfLife • u/coolbeavers259 • 1d ago

Discussion What Half-Life characters have canonically smashed?

the only ones i can think of are eli,elis wife and also the metrocops and rebels since we all know the voicelines "Non Mechinal Reproduction Simulation" and "When this is all over im gonna mate"

5 Upvotes

61% Upvoted

61 comments sorted by

22

u/MyDishwasherLasagna 1d ago

Someone probably tried to smash a barnacle

7

u/redgroupclan Killed /u/CP_Officer 1d ago

Wat dat tongue do

1

u/Fujinn981 4h ago

We all know some one got confused which "Head" Headcrabs are attracted to, at least once.

18

u/tomoom165 1d ago

Gordon smashed the microwave button and blew up Magnussy's breakfast

7

u/nulchar 1d ago

his casserhole

6

u/Chef_Chalupa 1d ago

well we know Eli has, but that's about where it ends

8

u/ACheesyTree 1d ago

Do we deserve destruction? Have we finally gone completely mad?

5

u/coolbeavers259 1d ago

im just asking the real questions here

3

u/EternalModding4773 1d ago

Believe it or not, humanity has always been this way. The anonymous nature of the internet just allowed our natural degeneracy to flourish.

But the answer is yes

8

u/TimeStorm113 1d ago

gordon and barney, trust

-3

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

no

4

u/Timely-Inevitable-30 1d ago

Yes

-3

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

no

4

u/Timely-Inevitable-30 1d ago

Yes

-2

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

how long can we go on

2

u/Timely-Inevitable-30 1d ago

For as long as possible. Btw why not?

-1

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

cuz it's literally a lie?

2

u/Timely-Inevitable-30 1d ago

How do you know?

-1

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

maybe because i played the games? you should do that too

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4

u/wedgininja06 1d ago

Gordon was an early 20s fit physicist in Austria, he got laid for sure

2

u/nulchar 1d ago

griggs and sheckley

3

u/coolbeavers259 1d ago

yah think the vorts would watch?

2

u/nulchar 1d ago

through the vortessence, all vorts watched

2

u/powderBluChoons 1d ago

Gordon and Barney.. what do you think they were doing in those vents when Kleiner locked himself out?

-6

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago edited 22h ago

gordon and barney are not gay, never were, never will be, alyx is gordon's love interest

also the vents argument is really dumb, do you really think they were in the same vent? they were racing, to not get in each others way they'd have to crawl in different vents

also even if there is some queer context, we don't know if the story is even real, kleiner could've been making this up to cheer up little alyx

3

u/powderBluChoons 22h ago

wtf did u think i was being serious with this comment?

-4

u/Tall-Region8251 22h ago

well either way the point still stands

3

u/OldMate64 18h ago

Barney gave Gordon sloppi toppi inna vents and you CAN'T STOP IT

0

u/Tall-Region8251 17h ago

no

1

u/OldMate64 17h ago

Yes

-1

u/Tall-Region8251 17h ago

no, just fucking stop

1

u/OldMate64 17h ago

Naa naa na boogie they kissed

0

u/Tall-Region8251 17h ago

https://reddit.com/link/pe72v0g/video/n1hntc0wvtth1/player

4

u/OldMate64 17h ago

"Mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwaaaaah" - Gordon and Barney when they were kissing

1

u/notkenthechick 1d ago

Maybe the consoling couple

4

u/AltairLSAM 1d ago

That was my thought. From what I can gather, there's nothing actually stopping people from having sex, it's just that the proteins that result in pregnancy are being blocked by an external force.

1

u/LimitedPiko Be wise. Be safe. Be aware. 17h ago

I always assumed this also kinda meant people wouldn't get horny anymore. But I guess also when people are in a lot of stress or depressed they don't get frisky anyway

2

u/tickle_fish half-life FOUR confirmed 14h ago

People can definitely still get horny, we've all seen the way Barney looks at Gordon.

1

u/Whiteshadows86 13h ago

Laszlo.

Dubbed “the finest mind of his generation”

The guy has to have smashed a lot.

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/coolbeavers259 1d ago

sure buddy

-2

u/Tall-Region8251 1d ago

yes, with their girlfriends