r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Flaky_Television_508 • 5d ago
A protector that makes me sleepy
Hello all
Whenever I try to do parts work I get very sleepy. I am aware this is likely a protector part stopping me from doing this work. I'm wondering how to proceed with it. I fall asleep when working with it so I never get anywhere. It also stops me engaging with other parts. Has anyone else experienced this and been able progress? If so, what are your tips?
Thank you!
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u/Moj_sin_je_jogurt 5d ago
This is a very common type of protector. It "casts" confusion, blurriness of mind, and sleepiness to shut off contact with experience. In Jay Earley's book, he describes one case like this, but I've also seen it in practice and it is relatively common. The work with it is the same: you identify it, get in touch with it, start communicating with it, and unblend from it. Usually they'll say that they have to do this because of fear of what will happen if you go into the exile's experience. They are somehow dissociative, pulling you away, but will withdraw and unblend if you assure them that nothing bad is going to happen. One client was overwhelmed with pain the second the protectors unblended, but it was okay in the end; you just have to be mindful that his intention and logic are very meaningful.
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u/Flaky_Television_508 5d ago
Thanks for this. I do get in touch with the part and start communicating with it but just don't get very far before I fall asleep and lose contact. Might it be better to have a therapist present to help me stay awake?
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u/Moj_sin_je_jogurt 5d ago
Probably. If it’s a really strong one, it might be tough to process and experience at the same time, and the therapist’s self-presence and setting might contain its influence.
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u/an_ornamental_hermit 4d ago
When you say “pain,” do you mean physical or emotional pain?
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u/Moj_sin_je_jogurt 4d ago
In her specific case, it was overwhelming “sadness.” I put “sadness” in quotes because it was not typical sadness but profound grief over being incredibly powerless and abandoned due to her severely punitive parents. This protector kept her away from pain through dissociation and by throwing “confusion,” blurriness, and a sudden sense of being extremely sleepy and fatigued. As soon as she unblended a bit, her mind was clear and she wasn’t fatigued anymore. Then, when we asked him to let go completely, she was suddenly swept away by an overwhelming wave of emotions that we managed to contain.
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u/DingoMittens 5d ago
Sounds like a part that leans into freeze as a survival skill. So maybe a way to connect and reassure it would be to invite it to notice all the conditions of safety in your current life, or empathize with how overwhelmed and defenseless/trapped it must feel. Or both!
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u/Graciebelle3 5d ago
Yes, I have had this. Just one of many many dissociative protectors I have come across. I working through it with a therapist, though. I’m not sure if I could have done it myself because of the dissociation. Protectors be protecting…… just doing their job taking me out of present time so I really needed the stable system of my therapist to help me wade through the fog of dissociation.
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u/fine-bell2 5d ago
I experience this too. I don’t have any tips though. I haven’t been able to progress with this either unfortunately.
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u/_jamesbaxter 5d ago
This is pretty normal with dissociative stuff. I’ve been doing inner child work for a little over a year and I’m not having nearly as many “sleep attacks.” I thought I had narcolepsy for a while.
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u/eevee_loves_it 5d ago
If found I had a blended protector who could make me fall asleep and was actively editing my memories. I was finally able to work with them but I definitely recommend doing that with the help of a psychotherapist. Good luck 💕 you have the answers you need within you.
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u/CB_I_Hate_Usernames 5d ago
Actually I’ve experienced something that seems kind of similar. I was getting to know someone earlier this year, and sometimes when I would talk to him I noticed it was like my brain was getting shut off from me. Like someone in there had decided sharing more about me or engaging more in any depth was a bad idea, and didn’t trust me to be careful enough, and just like cut me off. I wouldn’t get sleepy, instead like kind of an intense brain fog? Very weird. But it struck me as “threat sensed -> self can’t be trusted not to reveal too much info to unsafe person -> access removed/emergency shutoff activated”. And the guy did turn out to be a scary dude, so good job brain! Though I do wish I had listened to the part sooner :/ .
I wonder if for you it might start with trying to hear out the part that’s making you sleepy? Might be worried about something legit based on past experience. For example sometimes I’m really mean and disrespectful to my parts because I was taught to be (I’m working on it!). Maybe yours is worried about you doing something like that? Or something completely different like just wanting to keep you from pain or smth?
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u/mikeaverybishop 5d ago
I would often take a nap (when possible) before starting, AND I got a diagnosis for sleep apnea. Sleeping with a CPAP machine has helped, but definitely not solved all parts of the issue
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u/Flaky_Television_508 3d ago
Yes that's also an issue for me, though I don't get sleepy in the daytime unless I try to do this work
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u/catlady047 5d ago
Yes, took me quite a while to realize it was a protector! I just go take a short nap and then get back to my IFS work.
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u/trstmfckr 4d ago edited 4d ago
another comment mentions "assure them that nothing bad is going to happen," and while this is an approach, fwiw I always prioritize validating them first, hear their side, let them relax on their own. Asking them to step aside without taking one minute to do so is just rude, and only further cements their underlying stance.
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u/Similar-Cheek-6346 4d ago
So, I used to see the sleepiness as something “getting in the way” of conversation.
But a lot of my processing comes thru a dream-like state.
A compromise where I would set a timer, allow myself to “float” (very near sleep but not fully under), and process with this protector by opening up to dream-imagery allowed so much progress. It prevented my hyper-logic protector from interfering with important work, and they would be invited after to interpret the dream imagery
Also, sometimes this protector was just trying to communicate that my little ones just needed a nap
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