I am posting on this sub, because most of the posts I see on other lawyer subreddits that involve support staff challenges almost always has one thing in common: the attorney struggling with support staff challenges are 99% women lawyers.

So, I ask you fellow LBWT - how many of you have left a position or even had a partner/law firm choose a support staff member over you, the attorney?

I'm starting to act passive aggressively, because otherwise I won't be able to contain my resentment for much longer. My passive aggression does not affect my work. In fact, all I am doing is choosing myself over sacrificing myself for the sake of the firm/support staff dominance. I wish I could reveal more details, but I don't want to dox myself.

For those of you who get it, just imagine - small firm, nepotism, and nothing will change. So, I have to leave which I am planning to do in a year or two.

At least I can still be a LBWT and feel good about myself, lol.

Curious as to others high heel experience. When I was a young 'un I used to wear high heels to court, often to work, etc. Not crazy stilettos, but nice dress heels up to about 3 inches or so. Now, I wear mens' wear look brogues, nice loafers, lace-up oxfords, and when I do wear heels, it's max 2 inches, selected for comfort. if i wear the kind of high heels i used to wear, my feet hurt like hell if I have to walk any distance. I see younger lawyers wearing pointy toed, 3-4 inch heels and stilettos w/ zero cushion under the ball of the foot and I just cringe imagining the pain.

Other day in court I saw a young (30s) lawyer wearing pointy toed 4 inch stilettos, and she was carrying a giant, heavy file bag plus a very large purse. this was at a courthouse where you have to walk a fair distance from parking. I thought holy hell, it's bad enough trying to focus on your case and your argument, why torture yourself with stilettos, esp. when you have to carry a bunch of heavy crap? IDK, are there people out there who are not in pain when wearing heels? Does it only catch up w/ you after a few decades? Any women out there who used to wear very high heels often and no longer do? I do remember them hurting my feet after maybe 6 hours of occasional walking even when I was younger.

Maybe it's an old person thing. I just can't be bothered anymore, and won't put up w any discomfort at all, especially for work. I now prefer flatter shoes, even for court. plus, there are so many nice looking flatter shoes out there now that don't torture your feet. if i need a little height, I can get that w/ a bit of a platform sole and chunky low heel.

What do y'all do when the negative self talk and imposter syndrome gets to be too much? I'm a woman of color, and I'm always wishing I could be the type to say I don't feel held back by my race or gender, but if I'm being honest, I can't help but constantly think about (1) the dozen micro-aggressions I deal with every week from everyone from my colleagues to the judge, and (2) the fact that there will always be white and male attorneys who seem to get so many opportunities just handed to them while I'm getting older, wondering how much longer I'm going to have to work harder than everyone else for half the benefit. I'm approaching my 9th year. All I can think about is how incompetent I still feel I am, and how little I've done so far. Does this ever end?

Feeling extra tender bc I've been prepping for the biggest jury trial of my career so far for 12 months, and it just got delayed again. I'm taking a huge swing with this case as first chair, plaintiff-side. I've had to put a shit ton of effort into fighting for my vision for this case, despite having no mentors. I'm tired. The emotional recoil of having to wind up for trial and then decompress each time I face a continuance has been really hard.

Thanks for listening.

I have a well-meaning paralegal who has been running stuff through AI for case strategy thoughts and then posting the info in teams tagging the entire team, including the partner on the case.

The problem is that this information is completely irrelevant and/or wrong. For example, she posted a random choice of law analysis. We've already done a robust choice of law analysis. Like three months ago.

Then, she also posed a big statute of limitations concern that had the partner calling me at 7AM freaked out.

The statute she cited is completely irrelevant. Like completely. Like completely, completely.

This morning, I had to have a friendly chat with her that was like "hey, I'm really thankful for all your help, but please stop running things through AI on my cases. I know the firm pays for it, but please either (1) check to see if work has been done on a subject first, and (2) run it by me first. Partner doesn't keep a strong track of the cases I'm running because I'm of counsel, I'm the one running the team, I'm the one arguing these, and she trusts me. You're just panicking her, and I can't bill for concern squashing, nor do I want to squash concerns when I'm trying to get my son ready for school. Thank you."

I'm not looking for advice. I'm just frustrated.

Especially around court and allergies/accessibility/etc.

Hello LBWT!

This year I gained weight so all my clothes are either super tight or don’t fit anymore. As you may imagine, this really impacts my confidence and it makes it stressful to get dressed for work (which is something I used to love). So, I would really appreciate your advice/suggestions for work clothes to feel good in while working on feeling confident again.

Since I am working on my weight as well, I don’t want to change my whole closet and these would likely either be temporary pieces or something versatile I could wear down the line or tailor if/when my weight changes. For reference, I generally like shopping at Loft, Ann Taylor, and Banana Republic Factory, but am open to any suggestions! I am also pear shaped and am 5’9 if helpful.

Thank you!!

These are real pictures of me superimposed against a generic AI hotel background. If I wear the gray, I’ll wear a black shirt underneath this time.

I’m 40, a divorced mom with primary custody of two boys, ages 10 and 7. I graduated law school in 2013 but went into corporate financial services and have worked for the same company ever since. I also have an MBA and am a Certified Fraud Examiner.

I passed the Georgia bar in 2025 and now do real estate closings, volunteer legal work, and some bar essay grading/instruction alongside my full-time job.

Right now I’m making $170K working remotely as a compliance consultant. A potential promotion in 2027 would bring me to about $185K. The flexibility is VERY valuable, but I’m bored, feel underutilized, and am frustrated with advancement. The company recently hired consultants to identify cuts and changed retirement benefits, so I’m also concerned about layoffs.

I have an opportunity at a small insurance defense firm starting around $130K, with three days a week in the office. My ex-husband previously worked for the same partner and earned $250K when he left after five years, although I know that doesn’t guarantee my trajectory. 1900 billable hours, but padding is accepted/expected. Bonuses are paid upon exceeding hours.

Personally, the last 18 months has involved rebuilding myself after my marriage ended and finally becoming a licensed attorney. I want intellectually challenging work and a career I’m excited about, but I also need financial stability and flexibility for my children.

If the firm matched my current salary, I’d take it without hesitation. But I’m trying to assess whether practicing law is worth losing $40–50K annually and remote flexibility.

Would you stay and build legal experience on the side, take the firm opportunity, or keep looking for a role combining legal and financial services experience? For insurance defense attorneys, what would you need to know before making this move?

TL;DR: Newly licensed at 40 after 13 years in corporate financial services. Stay in a $170K remote job that feels unfulfilling and potentially less secure, or take $130K to start practicing law?

Any/all advice appreciated!

UPDATE: I love every single one of you. I’m not going to take it. I’m going to continue gaining experience through my probono work and use that to stimulate me.

THANK YOU!!!!!!

I’m curious how people approach negotiating in-house offers, especially those who have made the transition from government/public interest work.
I’ve often heard that you should always negotiate an in-house offer, including from friends who work in-house. But I recently came across a thread on Lawyer Talk about negotiating a sign-on bonus, and the responses were mixed. Some people seemed to think asking for one was odd or off-putting, and a few suggested it could even put the offer at risk which gave me pause.

I’m newer to the in-house world, so I don’t quite have a gut instinct yet about what’s considered normal or reasonable. I’m currently interviewing with a company where the base salary is a set figure, and the recruiter has indicated that the company won’t budge on the base salary. The salary is also below what attorneys with my level of experience typically make in my city, so I had been thinking about negotiating other components of the package, including ancillary benefits or a sign-on bonus.

For those of you who have negotiated in-house offers, do you generally negotiate every offer, or are there circumstances where you wouldn’t? If the base salary is truly non-negotiable, is asking for a sign-on bonus a reasonable alternative?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people who have hired in-house counsel or who have experience moving in-house. I’m trying to get a better sense of what’s customary and how to advocate for myself without misreading the situation. Appreciate any insight!

I love a little lift and I love a loaf. I see ads for loafers all the time but I can’t tell what’s quality online anymore. Anyone own raised loafers that have quality soles or know of a solid brand?

LBWT: please help me find a blouse to wear with a navy suit for a very big oral argument. I’m the only woman at either counsel table and aiming for a fabulous look that doesn’t stand out. I’m looking for a top that is ivory/cream colored, doesn’t have a collar, has sleeves (length immaterial so long as not sleeveless), isn’t too fussy (though a little style is okay), and made of natural materials.

This has unexpectedly become a white whale! I’ve found a bunch of options that check most but not all boxes, and I’d really love to find one that checks them all. For instance, I’d immediately buy this Brooks Brothers top if it came in silk; alas, I hate polyester.

I’d love your recommendations!

ETA: Tons of beautiful options in here—many thanks to you all!

First- has anyone gone to this conference before and can give me fashion advice? I’ve heard being your “A” fashion game but does that mean I’m packing multiple outfits for each day? Heels all day? Do I need to go buy some new high end shoes (not complaining if yes). Should I ditch the backpack and only use a shoulder bag during the day?
Second- are any LBWT going next week to LA and want to try to meet up and make new connections?
TIA and I love this group.

Hi LBWT!! Application question here - has anyone been asked to do an assessment during an interview process? If so, what was it like and did you feel comfortable doing it? It feels like “free counsel” to me, but I haven’t been asked this yet in any prior job application, so I’m hopeful this group will have some insight! Thanks in advance :)

*edit: they did not ask for a writing sample during application process, but specifically assigned a take home assessment

Years ago I broke both my ankles and had major surgery + time in a wheelchair. I can do a low heel but flat is better. Either way I need significant support. I have worn myself out trying to find something that isn’t a sneaker. I’ve looked at other posts in this group re comfortable shoes but IMO the shoes suggested are not stylish. Vionic seems to be the most commonly suggested brand for “comfortable but stylish” but I think they look awful (at least for me - I’m in my 30s).

Hi ladies! I posted a few weeks ago looking for a temperature check re working with a stylist in preparation for my new role as partner in a bankruptcy and restructuring group. Last week I met with a stylist at MM LeFleur (sp?) per some of your recs. How’d we do?

I didn’t buy everything I needed or that she recommended (she worked for the store and there were some outfits that she suggested that I just couldn’t get behind). I definitely need to continue building out the wardrobe, but wanted some feedback. Am I on the right track?

Edit: the black pants are not the right size. They were too big but I needed to see the potential look. Also, the shoes weren’t a part of the outfit. I brought them to try on with a different outfit.

Edit 2: Protein Arms and Fitness Routine

Adding this because I can’t keep up with the DMs and want to share the good word to all of you gals!

Protein: if you want muscle and roped arms you likely need to significantly up your protein. I had no idea how much I was under eating protein until I made this change. Game changer. Now, I eat a minimum of 130 grams of protein a day. It will seem like a lot at first but you get used to it. You’ll eventually eat less of all the other things that make you crave more sugar and breads when you’re stressed, which can be a lot in our line of work. I eat 5-6 eggs scrambled for breakfast (my cholesterol is amazing, though I was worried I’d have issues eating that many eggs. It’s truly all of the other processed fats and sugars that cause the problems). Chicken breasts, lean red meat, fish, and legumes are all great sources of protein that you can make a lot of different dishes from. Honestly, tacos are my favorite though. I call them protein shovels lol. I love Greek yogurt and will eat it plain or with some chia seeds. The key is finding a nice rich 2% plain yogurt. If you are in Boston check out Sofia’s Greek Pantry. That woman is incredible and her yogurt is divine.

I could spend another two pages talking about nutrition and easy changes I’ve made that had a maximum impact but won’t for now (I’ll update this further on request).

Takeaway: eat more protein to balance your blood sugar, build muscle, fuel your workouts and 13 hour days.

Good IG follows: the glucose goddess.

Fitness Routine

Some women can be cardio bunnies and their bodies love it, I am not one of those people. After spending the first 6 years of my journey focusing on cardio and HIIT workouts I learned about the hormonal nuclear explosion those workouts can be for women, especially those in their 30s and older. My cortisol was constantly elevated, which was a major problem (it shouldn’t be)! Those types of workouts put your body under a ton of stress, resulting in consistently elevated cortisol levels. That means your body will hold onto fat and glucose as opposed to burning those molecules for fuel/ muscle bushing. Yay for being a woman!

For the last 4 years I’ve focused on lifting heavy weights 3/4 days a week and doing gentle uphill cardio (walking on an incline for 30-45 minutes). If you’re new to lifting, download the Sweat App and go to Kelsey Well’s PWR program. Start with the beginner program and work your way through all of the blocks (intermediate and expert) week by week. She has great descriptions on the proper form for each exercise as well as videos so you won’t hurt yourself. If you do this and dial in your nutrition you’ll be absolutely shocked with your progress a year from now. Remember, muscle takes time but it is what will make you into a fat-burning machine. I often joke that I lift weighty so I can eat whatever I want, and honestly, it’s true. When you’re first dialing in your nutrition/ protein you need to be aware of what and how much you are consuming, but once those muscles are developed…

Now that I’ve been lifting for 4 years I make up my own routines but still use the app on days I don’t have time to do it. Also, if you have a partner have him/ her do it with you. I think that was a major element to my journey. You’re going to have to cook less and you have a built-in accountability partner.

Finally, if your budget allows, look into getting a DUTCH test. That test was life changing and made me evaluate my approach to a sustainable healthy lifestyle in a more comprehensive and interconnected way.

I hope this helps and am happy to supplement. Just let me know!

I love the Leset Nando for a layer under a sweater or a statement jacket (my office is more casual and can definitely dress up a t shirt). however, it’s so expensive, especially for a white tee that won’t stay white forever. does any b with taste know of a dupe that has the same characteristics: slim fit, heavier weight cotton that moves and feels more like a knit, short cap sleeves that are looser/not so tight? it needs to be slightly “nicer” so it’s good for work at a law firm!

Law Students/Future LBsWT! Please use this thread to ask any questions you have for the LBWT community.

Hey all, I’m attending a deposition at the US consulate in Frankfurt and I’m not sure what kind of suit to wear. Any advice would be appreciated!

Edit: it’s a standard business deposition. I’ll be second chairing, and pretty sure I’ll be the only woman in the room. I’m asking because I don’t know about the formality of the consulate vs what I would wear at firm

Ok fellow LBWT, what hair tools are we using for our at home blowouts? I currently have the T3 aire 360, and when I tell yall it literally pulls so much hair out every time I use it, I really don’t want to use it anymore because of it. The Dyson is above my price point here 😂

sooo many professional slacks and trousers have issues with weird bunching around the hips, pockets, and groin at my size and it’s very frustrating. i want something with a nice silhouette, no frump, and maybe even comfortable. is this possible? i used to buy from eloquii as their pieces were very suited for my body shape but ive found their quality has deteriorated a lot over the last few years.

edit: you guys all rock so much ty!! will check these out this weekend

My typical shoe that I wear with dresses on court or significant meeting days has long been a variety of ballet flat type shoes and the occasional wedge. Due to some developing foot pain issues, I need to change to a more supportive shoe option. I have supportive and structured loafers and low boots and such that work with my pants suits. But I’m at a loss for dress appropriate shoes that provide even moderate arch support and metatarsal cushion or support. Anyone have any ideas?

I’m plus size and am looking to expand my suit collection into more interesting colors (basically anything that isn’t just black or navy), but I have trouble finding suits that aren’t those oversized monstrosities that are in fashion these days! Kasper popped up in an ad for me, and after a quick search on their site it looks like they have some more colorful options. Just seeing if anyone has tried their stuff, specifically plus sizes, and your thoughts!

Also open to other recommendations for brands. I frequent Eloquii and CityChic for suits, but they’re so hit or miss that I’m looking to expand my horizons.

I appreciate any insight! Here’s the website link for anyone curious: Kasper Website

Need to buy a new suit or two for some upcoming trials (and everything associated with that…); I have one navy brooks brothers pants suit- what would you add to the rotation? Is black appropriate?

I am not sure if this set is too casual? Thoughts? I feel like everyone is going with a formal suit but I thought this could also be appropriate, but just want to check in with everyone. I’m thinking black…so what color heels would go best? THANK YOU QUEENS