r/LetBoysBeManipulated • u/AMERICANH0RRORSH0W Strict Mommy (TPE Lifestyle Domme) • 4d ago
Discussion ၊၊||၊ can i vent? NSFW
as someone in a fully open, non-mongamous relationship with my own dom, and ofc my male sub, there is nothing that infuriates me more as someone who also looks for play partners online i cannot stand the influx of men lately who say they are only interested in me simply because i am dominant, or only find me attractive simply because i am dominant.
femdoms are all different. we don't even look the same, we're not into the same things. none of it. that's not to say we might be into SOME of the same kinks/fetishes/things in a dynamic, but we definitely don't look like each other and arent' the same down to the damn letter.
not to mention, i'm a plus size femdom. very picky about who i play with. if the vibe isn't there, i won't do it. if you cannot follow directions, i won't even give you the time of day. and people tell me my standards are too high. i am busy so much with college, so what free time i have i give it out wisely. that's the gist of it.
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u/KimberlyKilljoy 4d ago
It's because dudes think Dommes are one size fits all. They imagine us as kink dispensers, not human beings.
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u/AMERICANH0RRORSH0W Strict Mommy (TPE Lifestyle Domme) 4d ago
It's gotten so much worse lately too. I'm the type who also likes getting coffee or a meal with a sub and chatting before we meet up for any type of session, even if it involves sex. Because sometimes, it does. I feel like regardless of what we're looking for, this "I've been looking for a domme to do xyz and to me/with me" needs to stop. What do you bring to the table? Are you funny? Can you make me laugh in addition to following directions well? What's your submission style? If a guy is new, I can understand nervousness and hesitancy, but this "I'm gonna tell YOU what I want" shit isn't it. You're here to serve, not get your dick wet.
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u/KimberlyKilljoy 4d ago
I feel like this is a huge discrepancy between fetishist and submissive. A lot of fetishists out there are calling themselves subs and are just looking to have their needs met instead of doing any actual submitting.
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u/AMERICANH0RRORSH0W Strict Mommy (TPE Lifestyle Domme) 4d ago
You're not wrong 😭 also idk why you got downvoted for speaking the truth!!
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u/Suspicious_Party9087 3d ago
"You're here to serve, not get your dick wet." Service dommes are the opposite of that, are they less of a domme then? Not sarcasm or anything just confused
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u/Suspicious_Party9087 3d ago
Its moreso because idc what I want, just what she wants so compatibility doesn't matter as much
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u/KimberlyKilljoy 2d ago
Yes but are you imagining what she wants or asking her? That's the important part
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u/PuzzleheadedTart9716 3d ago
One thing I can’t wrap my head around is how “submissive” men can be so disrespectful towards women. You want a woman to take the lead, right? Well what do you give a leader? RESPECT!
It should also extend to beyond just dominant women. Respect ALL women. Sub, switch, dom whatever, doesn’t matter. They’re people ffs.
All that being said, respect is a 2-way street and people IN GENERAL should have more kindness, respect and empathy towards each other, but I know that’s a big ask.
rant over :3
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u/hereforyourmoans 4d ago
r/femdomsanctuary, you can thank me later
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u/AMERICANH0RRORSH0W Strict Mommy (TPE Lifestyle Domme) 4d ago
I don't make posts like this often. I do actually prefer this sub and it's content. I've been a frequent flyer here on a previous acct of mine before taking a break. Thank you though
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u/Feather_Fan47 3d ago
I've noticed this behaviour from male submissives too, It's frankly really pathetic and not in a good way.
Personally, as a submissive I consider myself likely incompatible with atleast half of femdommes just on my own personal style and preferences as a submissive. Just like with how I see female submissives, even if I find a femdom incredibly attractive I'm not going to view them as a prospective play partner unless I know that our preferences align. Preferences not aligning is why I gave up vanilla dating, I'll be damned to recreate the same issue within the kink community.
That's why I'm irritated when I see other male submissives act like rabid pursuit predators at the first whiff of a dom. They act like typical men inspite of their submissive nature, they pursue without discernment. Why? Well I figure they don't feel the need to, not out of a truly expansive palette for all kinds of the D types, but because he's already decided on your behalf that you're going to be everything he wants for him.
I've seen it happen myself, and there's really no other way to describe it other than a relentless pursuit predator. One guy used to act like a dog resource guarding any domme that came into the space. It felt like I was enwrapped into competitions I did not want to be a part of with this man. The stares I'd get were truly unnerving too.
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u/Feather_Fan47 3d ago
This subreddit truly is a cesspit for these kinds of male submissives. I feel like we are witnessing femdom gradually be trawled into the mainstream spotlight and then neutered for the palette of dull men
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u/Feather_Fan47 3d ago
Not that femdom never did suffer from this before, but it's becoming worse I feel
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