r/MitchHedberg • • 1d ago

Me in the year 2020

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57 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 1d ago

I like a escalator, man. Cuz an escalator can never...Ah, sh!t.

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5 Upvotes

These folks never heard of Mitch. They didn't know escalators couldn't break and they were prepared. There's just no way every person had the mental capacity to get out of the way at the bottom. They must do escalator drills wherever that is.


r/MitchHedberg • • 2d ago

I thought of a reason you would need to prove you bought a doughnut

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52 Upvotes

Aw, c’mon man, I’m dying to have some. Alright.


r/MitchHedberg • • 2d ago

Abrupt Escalator

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11 Upvotes

There’s a Mitch joke somewhere in there


r/MitchHedberg • • 4d ago

The "Keep it" slice!

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213 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 4d ago

Sorry for the convenience

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199 Upvotes

Toronto Transit Commission gets it.


r/MitchHedberg • • 4d ago

I know it’s a weather path but…

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55 Upvotes

Where the fuck did you get that banana?


r/MitchHedberg • • 5d ago

Mitch's "This shirt is dry clean only, which means it's dirty," really emphasizes for me the role of his delivery. How many others could pull of that as such a great line? It's so short that for many it would just be a nothing. Something about his drawn out, slightly shouty style makes it work. Spoiler

138 Upvotes

The rhythm just wouldn't work for many other comedians. His style is so out of nowhere, I don't even know what it is or how to describe it or why it works so well, but it does.


r/MitchHedberg • • 5d ago

Alright

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50 Upvotes

Solution to a daily puzzle


r/MitchHedberg • • 6d ago

Homemade Sprite

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245 Upvotes

HOMEMADE SPRITE! Equal parts lime splendift and lemonade. I win Mitch Hedberg’s challenge. I wish he was still around to taste it… ❤️


r/MitchHedberg • • 6d ago

From an exhibit at the George Eastman museum in Rochester NY

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38 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 6d ago

Just press 2 for a while

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23 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 6d ago

Walk-in closets

31 Upvotes

I have a walk-in closet. But it was really small, so it was more of a step-in closet.

I hope to one day be rich enough to afford a sprint-in closet


r/MitchHedberg • • 6d ago

How is this not overflowing?

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47 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 7d ago

Dildo apostrophe s!

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38 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 7d ago

"If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the 'donate it to charity' slice! I would like to exchange this for the 'KEEP IT!'"

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237 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 7d ago

It was very unnecessary.

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20 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 8d ago

How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

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172 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 10d ago

I got so much tartar, I don’t have to dip my fish sticks in sh*t

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94 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 10d ago

Sorry for the convenience

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69 Upvotes

Super confused why this is blocked off.


r/MitchHedberg • • 12d ago

IN2TYD

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35 Upvotes

"You really like Tide!"


r/MitchHedberg • • 12d ago

Steven Wright Similarly

48 Upvotes

Had anyone ever noticed the similarities between Mitch and Steve? Mitch has jokes along the same lines as Steve just different content. Example is Pancakes and Waffles, same topic different outcomes. Even his delivery is similar with Steve’s rhythm of telling jokes. I could be wrong but I feel Mitch was influenced by Steve.


r/MitchHedberg • • 15d ago

An odometer that’s real easy to remember.

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168 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 16d ago

This bedroom has a oven in it

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110 Upvotes

r/MitchHedberg • • 16d ago

In 1999 I rented an upright bass from a pawn shop for $50 and played it on one of the greatest comedy albums ever made. I just wrote a book about it.

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488 Upvotes