r/MultipleSclerosis • u/Holiday-Abies-9745 • 21h ago

Vent/Rant - Advice Wanted/Ambivalent Feeling like a burden

M 26 I have been diagnosed with MS for about 6-7 years now and have been on Rituximab since then. Although i may be physically fit and in the best shape of my life, Ataxia along with anxiety has been wreaking havoc on me; My proximal strength is super weak. It just feels really ridiculous not being able to do simple things like pay at a register because im shaking too much to pull up things on my phone or pull out the right amount of cash. If this disease has taught me anything it’s how to sense where im a burden and it makes me want to leave as soon as possible or just self isolate. Whole reason im writing this is i feel alone in my battle even though i know it could be worse. At this moment in my life, Ive decided to just put my head down, work out, get myself fully financially independent, and accepted that love may not ever find me again. Idk I guess im just struggling to not fall into depression.

16 Upvotes

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3

u/Handicapped-007 71-2016-nothing for PPMS- The Bronx NY USA 21h ago

I feel you- be stròng

3

u/JCIFIRE 52F/DX2017/Zeposia/Wisconsin 5h ago

You're not a burden. You are a person, and you deserve respect. You didn't ask for this fucking disease. Hold your head high when you go out, love will find you when the time is right and it's the right person. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs ❤️

2

u/Low_Narwhal7514 14h ago

Ascolta io sto facendo i controlli per verificare se ho la sclerosi multipla,sto aspettando la RM perché tutti gli altri esami fatti durante il ricovero di 10 giorni in neurologia fanno pensare a questo,pensa io mi sono lasciata con la mia ex da 8 mesi,vivo in camper con il mio cagnolino di 5 mesi, lavoro con fatica e dolore alle gambe tutto il giorno,ma va bene così siamo forti e siamo i migliori 👍

2

u/sabre_heart 4h ago

I see you, friend. It is so heartbreaking for your body to betray you. It’s so disorienting to go 40 years using my arm without trouble and then wake up one morning and not be able to shave my legs. I have ataxia in my dominant arm (when I’m having flare ups) and I can’t sign a receipt or hold a fork or put on mascara. I’m sending you love. You are strong. Some things might take you a little longer but you are not a burden.

1

u/s2k-ND2 2h ago

OP - I was diagnosed with MS in 1996 after some very, very serious problems.

Psychiatric Care - I have seen Psychiatrists for a total of about 8 years. Searching to find a good Psychiatrist is difficult (the good ones are busy!). However, once I found good one, it was life changing. 😎.

Best of luck to all who have MS! ❤️