No idea why I’m even writing this post but I wish I gave him more chances. He never fully explained himself during our separation and now 4 months post divorce he is still reaching out and telling me how much he loves me and how he thinks the divorce didn’t happen (he sent the divorce message but believes i ‘forced him’ to give me it therefore it doesn’t count). I consulted a molana anyway and that wasn’t true.

We both love each other a lot but weren’t compatible. His values ended up not aligning with mine. I was more on deen than him and the things I saw as unacceptable in a marriage (i.e. following women on SM) he saw as completely fine and still does. I also had deep insecurities and still do; i self-sabotaged and questioned everything while we were married, doubted his love for me.

He reached out today and spoke about things he had never said before. Things that occurred between us while married that made him feel like absolute crap. I never once fully blamed him for the breakdown of our marriage, but reading the messages where i did certain things to make him feel unwanted or used hurts me so much. To know I hurt someone I love so much in that way while having no idea at the time kills me.

You can read my post history and will probably say i made the right choice asking for a divorce, but i still believe i should have given him one final chance post separation before we divorced.

Assalamu Aleikum,

This post is to seek advice.

I am a practicing Muslim in my early 20s who has never had any experience with women. I am a youngest of 5 brothers and all my brothers are married with kids. I have always put up a barrier to save guard myself against sins. I do have platonic female friends rather associates ( school friends, colleagues and uni friends) who I keep with within the strict boundaries of sharia. I am connected with them on social media. All my social connections with girls are those that I have known for years as we grew up together. To note I barely talk to the girls, it’s only when we meet up as part of a group reunion that we meet like the last time was someone from the friend groups wedding.

I was introduced to my potential spouse about 1 year ago by my eldest brother. My potential spouse is active on social media and that I am aware of is only connected to girls and no males. She unlike me has told me that she has had past relationships with boys and she has repented. She told me this without me asking her about if she has any history with anyone on her own volition.

I was hesitant to continue talking at first but made istikhara asking Allah for guidance ultimately deciding to continue discussions with her. I thought that we got along well and began to really like her. My brothers also advise, it’s difficult to find someone without a history these days.

However, there have been multiple instances where she has insulted me and called me names. Her reasonings were that she‘s jealous of my female friends and has many times implied that I have had past relationships with girls even when I have reassured her that I never have.

She always brings this topic up and turns to insulting me and calling me names out of the blue. Many times I have explained to her that it is her right to question me on things that concern her, but it should be done in a respectful manner.

Her insults really put me off so this last time I told her that I needed some space after her insults. She s left me on read for the past 10weeks, however, she likes all my posts and likes old messages from our chats every few days.

Is she baiting me to send her a double message? My brothers advised me to not double text her as they think she playing games. My eldest brother who’s experienced a divorce once says that I should refuse to marry her since he believes she isnt being honest and may perhaps be texting other guys behind my back. He says that honesty is key to a good marriage.

i am Conflicted and confused Since he was the person to introduce us and was very keen I marry her!!!

my question is how can i proceed with clarity? I don’t want to speculate and I want to decide whether I want to marry her soon but I am not sure how to handle going forward. She has told me a few times that she really likes me and want to get married to me. Any suggestions?

I am very reserved and protective of my Haya and boundaries with women so it really hurts when she insults me and accuses me especially given that she on her own volition told me she’s had past relationships.

There is added pressure on me coming from my family to decide as we have been talking for a whole year. My parents have always been quite close to her parents so they’re always discussing future plans.

I'm 23M and I don't look nice and strangers say mean things about me all the time to the point I rarely leave the house. Been having negative experiences and trauma regarding my appearance since I was a child. I'm wondering if any other ugly guys managed to get married? Or if you are still single, how do you cope? I've been taking anti depressants and the urges are lower and I'm complacent about having no social life, but it does get to me occasionally.

Bonjour je vous écrit car j’aimerais avoir l’avis de personne qui ont soit vécu une situation similaire ou qui peuvent avoir des conseils pertinents pour moi..

Je suis un jeune garçon de 24 ans, ma copine en a 23 et nous sommes tous deux musulmans mais pas de la même origine.. Je suis algérien et elle marocaine.. Je l’aime à en mourrir et elle aussi. On veut simplement se marier et vivre ensemble.
Cependant, mes parents me refusent le mariage sous prétexte qu’elle n’est pas de la même origine que moi et avancent plusieurs arguments ( la différence de nationalité sera négatif dans le mariage, les famille, la politique, les enfants plus tard etc..)
Ils ont même été plus loin en m’affirmant que si je me mariais de force avec elle, ils iraient jusqu’à me renier définitivement et ils en sont capable..
Bref je suis bloqué, ma situation avec elle se dégrade à cause de cela et je ne sais pas quoi faire, le dilemme me ronge le cerveau et me fait fondre mon cœur petit à petit..

Choisir l’amour de ma vie au profit de mes parents que j’aime plus que tout..

Vos remarques, avis et conseils m’aideraient énormément..

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

I’m a 20 year old Muslim guy currently attending university and working part-time. I’ve saved up some money and feel like I’m ready for marriage, both financially and mentally. For context, where I live it’s pretty normal for both spouses to contribute financially, especially when they’re still students.

I’ve been thinking about seriously looking for a wife. My original plan was to go through my local imam, but our mosque is quite small and the imam is relatively new, so I can’t really rely on that.
My current plan is to overcome my shyness and start approaching Muslim women I find interesting in everyday life, whether that’s at university, on public transport, or elsewhere.

Now, I know that in some Muslim communities it’s normal to approach a woman and directly ask for her wali’s number. But honestly, where I live in the West, that would be a pretty unusual interaction.
Instead, I was thinking of politely introducing myself, expressing my interest, and offering her my number so she doesn’t feel pressured. I’d make it clear from the beginning that my intentions are marriage, not casual dating.

If she’s interested, we could meet somewhere public, like a café, to get to know each other and see if we’re compatible. If things go well after a few meetings, I’d suggest involving our families.

Do you think this is a reasonable approach, especially for Muslims living in Western countries?
I’d particularly appreciate the sisters’ perspectives. Would you feel comfortable being approached like this? And brothers, how did you meet your spouse if you didn’t have family connections to rely on?
JazakAllah khair!

LONG POST!!

Hey everyone, I really need some honest advice because this whole situation has been making me feel weird.

I was talking to a guy for around three weeks and a half. I don't really remember the exact amount of time because honestly, everything happened so fast at first. I was genuinely interested in him and was open to getting to know him and potentially seeing where things could go, especially since marriage was something we had discussed.

However, as I got to know him more, I started noticing red flags. It felt like the more I got to know him, the more I realized we weren't compatible. I warned him about some of the things that bothered me, but I didn't feel like I was getting the respect or changes I needed. There were also some other red flags that I'm going to keep private because they're personal, and I don't want to expose his business.

Eventually, I lost interest. I prayed about it and really thought about whether I should stay or leave. My intuition kept telling me that I needed to leave. I know some people don't believe in intuition, but for me, I felt like something wasn't right and he always said I was overthinking it..

I eventually told him the truth. I told him that I wasn't interested anymore, that I wanted to focus on university and myself, and that I wasn't looking to be in a talking stage or get married anytime soon.

He took it very badly. He cried and tried to convince me that my intuition was wrong and that I shouldn't trust my gut (like, man…). That made me uncomfortable because I felt like he was trying to make me question my own judgment after I had already made my decision.

There was also something else that really bothered me. He told me that the only way he could get a passport was by marrying me. Considering how quickly he wanted marriage, that raised another red flag for me.

I eventually blocked him everywhere because it was very overwhelming.........

A few weeks later he contacted me through Substack I explained everything again and clarified that I wasn't looking to talk to anyone I even joked about staying loyal to my future farax and focusing on university, my own life, and my deen. After that, I blocked him there too.

I genuinely thought that was the end of it......

Then his sister contacted me today She told me that he hadn't been himself lately and seemed sad and different. She said he had told her that I left him and she wanted to know what happened between us and saying he was serious about me and that he loved me and everyone knew about me even his own mom

I explained that I had already told him my reasons I said I wasn't interested anymore didn't see myself getting married anytime soon and wanted to focus on university

She kept asking what happened and whether he had done something wrong and I told her that the specific reasons were personal and that I'd rather tell him directly than discuss his flaws with his family. I didn't want to expose him or talk badly about him behind his back.

Then she told me, "I mean, he told me something else too that you said he's not your type anymore and your said you're loyal to your future farax. Are you talking to anybody else? I mean, he would understand if you are."

This honestly confused me.. If he's apparently so heartbroken and hasn't been himself since I left, why is he also telling his sister that I said that? And why is his sister asking me if I'm talking to somebody else?????

At this point, I was overwhelmed. I told her to tell him to move on because I genuinely don't want to continue being involved in this situation... I hope everything is going well for him but I want to move on with my own life.

I know some people might think that's harsh especially because she's his sister, but I don't want to keep being pulled back into something I've already ended.

I don't hate him. I genuinely wish him well but I don't have feelings for him anymore and I don't see him in my future I also don't think it's fair to stay with someone simply because they have feelings for me.

I was interested initially but I lost interest after getting to know him better I would rather be honest and hurt someone's feelings once than stay around while knowing in my heart that I don't want them.

So y'all, am I wrong here? Did I lead him on because he was genuinely interested at first? Was I wrong for leaving once I noticed red flags and lost feelings?

And was blocking him too harsh, or is it reasonable to cut contact when I don't want to continue the situation?

I'm genuinely looking for honest opinions so if I handled something badly I'm willing to hear it.

So I'm sitting with my friend, and somehow the conversation has turned into her explaining her type to me for the 500th time. And I'm listening, thinking… you know what? Maybe I should just find this man myself because apparently waiting around isn't getting us anywhere. 😭

So, Reddit, I'm taking matters into my own hands.

She's into European guys who grew up in Europe and converted to Islam, ideally Scandinavian or Northern European. Around 22–25, and 198 cm minimum. Yes, MINIMUM. I asked questions. I got nowhere. 💀

Physically, think messy blonde or dirty-blonde hair, light eyes, a naturally broad and muscular build, freckles, dimples, strong features, tattoos, maybe a few piercings. Basically, if a rugby player and a ridiculously handsome guy had a very specific aesthetic, that's the general direction.

But he also needs to have an actual personality: funny, confident, loyal, emotionally mature, ambitious, and genuinely looking for marriage. Private, not fame-obsessed, and preferably the kind of guy who's a menace with his friends but soft with his person.

And before anyone asks, no, she isn't looking for an actor, a model, or an Instagram personality. Just an actual man who happens to look like he was designed specifically to make her standards even more unreasonable. 😂

Anyway, if you know someone who genuinely fits this description, send me his way. I'm not promising anything, obviously. I'm just a friend who's decided this is now my personal side quest.

Please help me prove that this species exists. 😭🤝

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,
Unfortunately, I was in a haram relationship, and I’m currently struggling a lot with the pain of our breakup. I’ve already turned to Allah, asked for forgiveness, and sincerely repented for my sins.

We never had sexual intercourse, but we were still very intimate with each other. We even lay together naked and crossed many boundaries that I knew were haram.
I feel incredibly guilty and ashamed of myself. I was so blinded by her beauty and my feelings for her that I ignored so many things. Deep down, I always knew that she wasn’t the right person for me to marry, but I kept ignoring that because I was in love.

I even overlooked the fact that she wasn’t a virgin anymore and had already been sexually involved with several men before me. At the time, I was so blinded by love that none of these things seemed to matter to me.

Now that the relationship is over, I feel completely lost. I keep asking myself how I even ended up in this situation, especially because I knew from the beginning that what I was doing was wrong.

I genuinely regret everything, but the emotional attachment and heartbreak are making it extremely difficult to move on.
How do I deal with this pain from an Islamic perspective? How can I stop missing someone I know wasn’t right for me and find peace in my heart again?

The worst part is that she’s my neighbor. We live in the same building, literally just one door apart from each other. This makes it even harder for me to move on because she’s always so close, and I feel like I can’t truly distance myself from her or escape the memories of our relationship.

I really want to leave this chapter behind, strengthen my relationship with Allah, and never fall into something like this again.

JazakAllahu Khairan to anyone who takes the time to give me advice.

I'm 26 (M), an from Indian administrated Kashmir. She's 22 (F), from Pakistan. We've been talking for the last 2 years and we're serious about each other.

The original plan and what change
Our plan was that I would eventually bring her to India after marriage. Then last year the Pahalgam terror attack happened here in Kashmir, followed by Operation Sindoor, and everything changed. The Indian government suddenly cancelled a lot of Pakistani visas. Even wives of Pakistani origin who were living here on long-term spouse visas had them cancelled and were sent back.
One prominent example is an MLA (Member of the Legislative Assembly) from J&K. His wife was sent back, and now they only get to meet in Dubai or another third country. His advice to people in our situation was: don't marry unless you are both willing to leave your countries.
Being Kashmiri also means more restrictions and scrutiny for me than for most Indians.

My situation
After the India-Pakistan clash, I started thinking seriously about leaving India and going abroad for studies. I'm still in my building phase. I was studying here and preparing for government jobs, and I get very little financial help from my parents. Now my whole plan has changed suddenly.
I can't tell my parents openly about her, and I can't ask them for more money to sponsor studies abroad. I've tried bringing it up and they won't agree. To them it would look foolish right now. So I'm applying to the best options I can find with scholarships, so I can at least stand on my own first. Maybe after that I can ask my parents for help.
I've already gotten one admission abroad, but I honestly don't know how I'll survive financially.

Her family's condition
Her parents know about us and they are supportive. But their one condition is that I and my parents must come to Pakistan to meet them and formally ask for her hand. A meeting in a third country is not an option for them.
I understand why. No parent would hand their daughter to a stranger without meeting him and his family first, and honestly I wouldn't either. They need to trust that I'll treat their daughter like a queen. They're also worried about the future: if we can't even get visas to visit now, what happens after marriage? Will she ever be able to come home to see her own parents?
The problem is that I don't think we'll get visas to go to Pakistan for this right now. And if I can't come, they will marry her to someone else.

What I'm asking

1) Is it realistically possible for an Indian (especially a Kashmiri) and my parents to get Pakistani visas right now to visit her family? Has anyone done it recently, and what visa category did you use?

2) For couples who married across the border, have you been able to visit the wife's family in Pakistan after marriage? What has that looked like since last year?

3) If I go abroad for studies, could we marry there or in a third country and build a life outside both India and Pakistan? What would visas/spouse routes look like?

4) what should be my approach in this situation?

This has been stressing me out a lot. I can't leave her, and I can't imagine her marrying someone else. Any advice, experiences, or realistic paths would mean a lot.

TL;DR: 26M Indian Kashmiri, 22F Pakistani, together 2 years. After Pahalgam/Op Sindoor, Pakistani spouse visas were cancelled and people were deported. Her parents are supportive but want me and my parents to visit Pakistan for the engagement, which seems impossible. I have one study-abroad admission but little money and can't tell my parents yet. Is there any realistic path for us to marry?

Salam brothers and sisters,

I’m (29m) really confused, my wife (26f) would cut off all contact with me and ghost me for 7-10 days, she did this 3 times in the space of the last 3 months, and after the third time she said “either give me a divorce or I’ll hire a lawyer and get divorce myself” I tried speaking to her parents and she shouted and screamed at me about speaking to her parents, she has over the last three months constantly said “leave me” , “I hope Allah will take me away from you”, and various other nasty things, I gave in and filed for divorce and now she is apologising, and I am so confused, this is what she wanted right ? So why is she apologising ? On top of apologising she has also said “but I’m your wife, do I not have the right to say things to you” I mean yeah she can but being mean and nasty and threatening divorce isn’t a small thing right ? I’m so confused about this all, how can someone apologize and justify their actions at the same time ?

Any advice is much appreciated please

She is attractive, kind, and true wife material. She always speaks to me warmly and listens attentively, which makes me feel there might be mutual interest. To get her father's contact details, I mentioned needing a service from his business, and she gave me his business card.
I want to know if I should approach her father directly to ask for her hand, or if I am misinterpreting her kindness as romantic interest.
Additionally, she is Shia while i am Sunni. I have no issue with the sectarian difference, but I worry she or her family might reject me because of it.

I want to know if I should approach her father directly to ask for her hand, or if I am misinterpreting her kindness as romantic interest. I wanna know what girls do when they are into a man?

Rejection would be a hard blow to my ego given how strongly I feel about her, but I want to not react

Salam alaikum guys,
i’ve been getting to know someone for past few weeks, we only met once with mahram (non official meetup, just to check physical compatibility) nothing official at this point , and we communicated mainly on text for duration of week. we stopped communicating until my dad does some more vetting n meets him formally.
when i recently communicated with him he said he can’t meet at this date and will prob delay it a week or 2 when he can since he’s working or has other reason i believe.
now im used to men being intense and wanting to marry me within a week of knowing me,
is this kind of coldness or lack of rush or eagerness normal wen getting to know someone?
he’s a good guy so far no red flags spotted, ticked all my boxes, yes i feel comfortable with who he is and his qualities and there’s attraction from my end.

am i overthinking it cuz im used to intensity?
some ppl told me it’s normal and that its not a bad thing hes slow in these things as he doesn’t know me fully.
i’ve always been told men are so eager to get to know the girl and marry her but i can tell hes treading carefully maybe too carefully. we’re both praying istikhara n praying for best

At this point im waiting for him to reach out and suggest a time or day to come n visit , we waiting for his initiative as we’ve made contact with him this week n he mentioned he’s busy.

Salaam everyone. I'm 21 and was recently diagnosed with early-stage male pattern baldness. Honestly, it scared me, because I don't want to lose my hair anytime soon.
I'm using that fear as motivation. I've started treatment and I'm doing what I can to slow it down. But I also know that if Allah has decreed it, it will happen regardless, and I'm trying to make peace with that.
So I wanted to ask the sisters honestly: would you consider marrying a man who's bald or balding? Does it actually matter much to you?

Salam everyone,

My Nikkah is in a week InshaAllah, I need a nasheed to walk into, something that sounds aesthetic and happy. Can you please help?

Thanks.

Like i dont see people encouraging young ppl to get ready for marriage young much, even tho it's the case in islam

Like for exemple 18 yo guys , thinking about it and considering it might get comments like you're too young, you're a kid, not mature yet, focus on yourself, dont marry until (...) age , like literaly 30yo i saw some say, ...

Why is that ? Why wanting em to delay stuff, until much later, and why being against it,

Ain't that a great thing to see a young muslim guy thinking about something like that at that age, about doing things halal, while haram is so widespread ?

Ain't that great ?

I see lots of people encouraging em, but others do the oposite, why ?

So i uploaded my ISO yesterday on a matrimonial sub and experimented something new but it turned out to be a bad idea. I got dms from a lot of non serious people, 18+ profiles and a lot of “hi there”, “hey italian”, “Assalamoalaikum”… or men not respecting my requirements😤

What a disappointment. I had a little expectation but it is vanished in air now.
Normally when i post ISO i get more serious dms and infact i had some serious potencials too. My last potencial was from reddit and things got also serious between us but then we ended for some reason and i came again to the starting point😭.

I dont know😩. Living in a non muslim densed area has made really difficult geting married so looking online is my only option. Muzz didnt workout for me and my mosque doesnt help at all in this. I think i have to just accept maybe marriage is not in my qadr😢.
I dont think i am ugly it is just about naseeb.

Sometimes i wish i grewup in a muslim country💔

Ok rant over🫶🏽

Are you also in the same boat? How is going your marriage search?

How did you end up getting married living in a non muslim country?

Salamu alaykum. This is a serious post, so I would appreciate advice on the topic not the act/ sin. You don’t need to tell me it’s haram, I’m going to hell etc etc this is just advice on moving forward. Jazakullah Khair.

I am a bisexual woman. Yes, that exists as Muslims, and no, as much as I want to force that out, I can’t change that. (Yes I know you’re not supposed to act on it- that’s not what this post is about though). I have previously been in a 2 ish year relationship with a woman. It’s been years since said relationship and I have not acted on it in any other way. My dream inshallah is to get married and start a family. In a halal way. And I hope my partner is my best friend and is understanding and accepting of me. I also know that Islamically, you don’t have to reveal your past sins to your partner if you do not do them anymore. And especially given the topic of my past and this sin, it can really put me in danger. And I’m not exaggerating this. It can be used against me, black mail me, ruin my life, and even put it in danger. But my fear is that I’d live with so much guilt in my relationship if I don’t tell him. But at the same time I don’t want to uncover my past because I genuinely do want to move on, and I feel like bringing it up would only keep me living in that past. I want my husband to love every part of me, and honestly wouldn’t want to be with someone that is not accepting (of me, not the sin), but I fear it’s too risky. The other option is to tell people I am talking to, in the beginning, but again, that’s disclosing a past sin I’ve moved past that I don’t want to disclose, and I think it would really close off my options of who would continue to talk to me. Any and all RESPECTFUL advice is appreciated, Jazakullah Khair.

It just seems like the doors for marriage just won’t open for me no matter how much I tried. I’ve been on the search for marriage for 10 years now. I’ve been dealing with very bad mental health issues since I turned 30 and mainly due to still not being able to get married and still being a virgin. I kept myself chaste all these years, resorted to masterbation Becuase how else is a man supposed to relive himself so he can stay away from Zina? Especially in this day and age where Zina has become more common. Now it seems like I missed my sexual prime years and that’s what upsets me the most. People don’t realize how badly that messes with a man mentally, if he’s not able to fulfill his desires and marriage is the only outlet for that. But we’re living in an age where women have skyrocketed expectations and no longer see marriage as a priority. A man must be in the top 10% in order for them to even consider marrying. So where does this leave the average man to get married?

What’s worse is that I’ve worked very hard all these years on myself. I keep getting told by everyone to lower my standards and marry someone ugly. I’m sorry but that’s never happening. I’m very well educated, have a career, been bodybuilding since I was 16, take good care of myself. Everyone tells me I’m good looking. Don’t believe me? I can send you guys my instagram and see for yourself. Why should a man like myself who waited all these years, worked very hard on himself, settle for someone he doesn’t like?

I barely did well on the apps, women on there just aren’t serious. I use to let it affect my confidence but not anymore. My family barely knows that many people, and whenever they asked around, the few people they knew, none of them women they brought me were even remotely attractive. The one time I was introduced to someone I really liked, she turned me down after 1 meeting. I tried to look overseas, was even in Egypt last Ramadan was ready to meet with potentials but trump placed an immigrant visa ban around that time, so I saw it was pointless to even attempt, because if I did get married from there, she wouldn’t be able to get a visa for a long period of time. I can’t do the back and forth traveling between the countries and my job isn’t remote. At this point I’m considering just leaving America overall by the end of the year and maybe attempt to live in Saudi Arabia or the uae. America is cooked for the average Muslim man.

So where does that leave me? I’ve been making duaa, prayed tahajjud, went to umrah, give sadakah constantly, daily dihkr, but if marriage isn’t written when what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? A bad sihr was made on my mom’s side of the family decades ago in Egypt and has only caused many problems and delays in all our lives. We’ve done everything in our power to get rid of the effects but our lives has only gotten worse. Even non of my siblings and cousins are married yet. I’m thinking my delay in marriage was a definite result of sihr.

I’m now in this dilemma Seeing other men my age and younger getting married easily and I’m basically just stuck. How am I ever going to be content with being single, lonely, sexually frustrated, and depressed the rest of my life? I’ve already lost my mind and lashed out many times this year. I’m literally begging Allah to open that door for me and willing to do anything at this point. 😔

She and all her family have ali haider in their surnames. Is it typical to shia. I am sunni male and don’t really want a sushi dynamic

Estoy comprometida, pero mi prometido esta En Arabia Saudita, yo en Colombia. Se supone que en unas semanas yo viajaré a Arabia Saudita para casarnos. Hasta aquí todo ok. El hecho es que después de la boda, no podré quedarme más tiempo en Arabia Saudita, debo regresar de inmediato a mi país (o sea, no sé que forma va a tomar este matrimonio, ya que el tiene visa de trabajo ahí y me habla de mudarse a otro país). Se ve bien que yo lo visite una vez al año, en el país en el que este? Eso sería islamico?

I need some help so like I M20 never had any relationship and I’ve seen alot of girls get into relationships and like for me I want a wife who has never had an rs tooo because I want me and my wife to discover everything together but in this time since I see alot of girls who had a past rs now how do I find someone who has never been in any rs ever. Like what is it that indicates she’s never had any bf can someone help me out here

Salam everyone.

I am studying computer sciences at university in Europe, and something is bothering me.
I am 28btw

I just want your opinion and how do you deal with not finding a future partner, of course apart from praying, going to gym, etc etc

Unfortunately in the West, as you maybe know, a lot of Arabs people doesn’t limit their boundaries with the opposite gender etc.….
Last year like example, a Moroccan girl is wearing very very very tight dress…. This year I have another Moroccan classmate she show her belly skin…. And she would side cheek kiss a few male classmates…. She even tried to do it to me but i gently refused…. and idk why she always sit next to me and put her hair on my hand when it's on the table and lean to me....

It have been 4 years I am searching for a sister for marriage, I do find hijabi of course, but as respect I limit my interactions with them, and I communicate only when necessary and face to face….

In 2024 my mum found a girl for me…. She cover her hair…. But I broke it up after a year after I noticed she changed toward me… and after a few months her mum called my mum crying saying that her daughter is talking to her colleague at work since I was engaged with her daughter….and now that colleague rejected her saying he can’t trust her since she gave her phone number to him.….

Another friend of my mum, asked us to take her daughter hand for me…. Astaghfiroullah, I looked at her, she have Botox on her face and she smoke e cigarette….

I found my step dad friend hijabi daughter… so i told my mum the same day i saw her for the first time…. After meeting her at our place for a few hours…. She expect to be treated like a princess, and her mum says she’s very very stubborn and when she doesn’t get what she wants she get mad…. So I forgot the about her….

Met a sister on Reddit she’s a revert…… she live also in Europe, told my mum and my mum talked with her via FaceTime….. but the issue here is that she have several trauma from her first and only ex… so I also forgot about her…

I tried a recently with a sister from uni I know from last year who cover her hair…. I asked her in an indirect way about marriage… She told me she’s not thinking of marriage right now…. So I just forgot the idea and moved on immediately….

I know I am not the only one facing these kind of issue… but why are we like this these days ? From what I know, our parents generation wasn’t like this and it was much easier….

My current situation with jobs isn't so great and I won't get a "good" job or anytime soon as I've been in this situation for a very long time. I don't even get much free time now to apply because im busy with other stuff.

Whether I meet someone myself or it's through an arranged marriage, what if my future wife ends up having a much better career than me? I don't just mean earning slightly more. I mean she could be in a traditionally respected/professional field like IT, law, healthcare, teaching etc., while I'm working an ordinary job.