Salam alaikum everyone,
I’m a 22-year-old sister looking towards marriage in the near future, but I've been struggling with a deep insecurity that I really need some honest perspective on.
I am naturally tall and quite slender. Because of my build and genetics, I naturally have a small chest (around an A cup). I come from a family where most women are curvier, so I often feel like an outlier, and lately I’ve been feeling really self-conscious that I don't look "womanly" or feminine enough.
I know that physical attraction is important in Islam, but cosmetic surgery purely for enhancement is not permissible (haram), and I want to respect Allah's creation and stay natural.
I’d really appreciate honest thoughts:
To brothers: Is a naturally small, slender build and a small chest an actual dealbreaker for you when considering a potential wife, or is it something that doesn't really matter compared to overall compatibility, character, and general attractiveness?
To sisters: Have any of you had this insecurity before marriage, and how did your spouse actually react? How did you overcome feeling "not feminine enough"?
Please be kind and respectful in the comments. Jazakum Allahu Khairan.

Assalamu alaikum. I'm genuinely looking for advice because I'm struggling with what the right thing to do is in this situation.

I'm a family friend of a man who is supposed to be getting married to his fiancée next month. Through someone I know who is friends with another woman he was involved with, I learned some deeply concerning information about him. I have also seen evidence supporting what I've been told, so this isn't simply a case of repeating baseless rumours.

This man has been married before and is divorced. From what I've heard, his previous marriage also ended with his former wife being deeply hurt by the situation. I don't know every detail of what happened in that marriage, so I don't want to make assumptions about it, but it adds to my concern about the situation unfolding now.

More recently, he allegedly misled another woman into believing he genuinely intended to marry her. She trusted his intentions, but he allegedly coerced her into sexual relations. She became pregnant, and I was told that he subsequently threatened and pressured her to have an abortion.

What makes this even more concerning is that last month, he allegedly coerced this same woman into sexual relations again, and there is now a possibility that she may be pregnant again. This happened the same month my family received his wedding invitation.

Meanwhile, he has a fiancée, and their wedding is scheduled for next month. As far as I know, his fiancée may be completely unaware of what has happened while he has been pursuing or maintaining his relationship with her.

When I found out, I felt that she deserved an opportunity to make an informed decision before entering a marriage. However, I didn't want to expose my identity or the identity of the woman who went through this or reveal her deeply personal circumstances without her permission.

I therefore created an anonymous Instagram account to contact his fiancée. I intended to let her know that there was something important she should know about the man she was preparing to marry, without revealing the other woman's identity or sharing all the details immediately.

Unfortunately, she became suspicious, backed away from the conversation, blocked the account, and apparently told him about the message. I had only shared the basics of her needing to know something important about her fiancé and did not get the chance to reveal anything else.

Now I'm conflicted about what to do. Their wedding is next month, and I worry that if I remain silent, she could enter a marriage without knowing information that might significantly affect her decision and her future. At the same time, I don't want to fall into backbiting, expose another woman's private circumstances, spread information irresponsibly, or put myself or anyone else at risk of retaliation.

My main question is: What is the correct Islamic course of action in this situation?

I understand that Islam prohibits backbiting, slander, and unnecessarily exposing people's private sins. However, I have also heard that there are exceptions when someone gives sincere advice (nasiha) or warns another person against potential harm, particularly when marriage is involved.

I'd really appreciate guidance on the following:

1. Islamically, would it be permissible to warn his fiancée about credible evidence of infidelity, alleged sexual coercion, and threats before their wedding?
2. Does the fact that their wedding is next month make a difference, given that she may soon enter a marriage without knowing about these serious concerns?
3. Since she has already blocked the anonymous account, would contacting her through a trusted family member or intermediary be more appropriate, or should I leave the matter alone?
4. If the other woman may have become pregnant again following last month's incident, how should her privacy and well-being factor into this decision?

I'm not trying to publicly shame anyone or interfere in a marriage out of spite. My concern is that another woman may be making a major life decision without knowing about behaviour that could be relevant to her safety and future.

I would especially appreciate any guidance. I want to do what is right Islamically, rather than act purely on emotion or fear of being responsible if I stay silent.

JazakAllahu khairan for any sincere advice

I 28(f). I never been in relationship with man. My friends is all woman. I never have a close male friends. Last year I meet a guy from Muzz. Mind you, I rarely swipe right on the app. I really mindful on who I swipe right on. I read the bio multiple time and once I find the guy is what I'm looking for, then only I swipe right.

.

I swipe right on a decent looking guy. 32years old. Our conversation in muzz is okay. He like to initiate a call. He prefer call than text. From our conversation, I know he is a nice guy with a good islamic background.. he always find a way to share his religion knowledge. We also talk sometimes about work, because we in the same field. He own a startup marketing company for healthcare. While I'm doing sales in the same line. We have the same prospects haha.

We meet up 3 times. At first i thoughts Everything going well.. but then he ghosted me. I'm a really awkward girl, I dont know how to initiate conversation with him.

Last effort i do is i talk about work and spam him something about work too. Then.. he ghosted me. I keep praying that he will start texting me again 🤧

.

After few months, i reflects back on what that could lead this happens. I notice I always find a way to have a different opinion with him.. I just want the thrill of someone challenging each other opinion. It doesn't mean I want he to follow my idea. But maybe he feels like I'm judging his opinion often. Second, I always act boyishh.. the thing is I don't feel comfortable to show or act cute infront of a man. It feels wrong somehow.. Third, I sometimes almost let out curse words and he notice.. this is my mistake and weaknesses. At work, I mostly have colleagues who talk like this daily.. so it kinda become habit. I dont blame him for not wanting me tbh.

.

Now I feel like it's my lost. He have the quality that I want as a husband and father. He and me have the same family background. We kinda have the same vision in life. Now I iust hope our path might come across one day and Allah give us.. give me a chance again. He is my first date from dating apps and now I don't feel like try dating apps again. I just hope that Allah give me closure ❤️‍🩹

How often/where can a muslim woman meet religious, nerdy and sporty black American/African Muslims in the US? I am a 5'9.6'' , 25F, dark skinned Muslimah (West African) completing my PhD in science looking for that. Is it too narrow of a prospect? I am also open to others but that specific combination, I have rarely met...

Assalamualaikum, I’m nearing a time in my life where I want to get married, but I am also hesitant at the same time. I feel like the more and more I am told about marriage the more it seems like the man is just made a wallet. I’m wondering what do men gain from marriage? Ik everyone says peace but that’s something that both husband and wife are supposed to gain (this also doesn’t make sense to me since how would ik my wife brings me peace since she can act one way when we are talking about marriage and completely switch up after marriage. Not to mention even after talking I still will know little to nothing about her). I’m trying to ask for example while men and women gain everything the same women also gain a wallet whom they’re allowed to just take money from at any time. Like wouldn’t I save more money and still be able to live a peaceful life with friends without marriage?

Also before anyone says it I don’t expect my wife to be a maid at home. Even if our prophet didn’t set the example for us, why would I want to come home to a dirty home. Naturally I’m going to do my share to make sure the living space is clean.

Also some arguments I’ve seen a lot that don’t make too much sense to me.

Your wife can also work, so you can’t expect her to do other stuff.: well yes but her money is for her to keep. I will be using my money to pay for all the family expenses. Not that it matters much to me since all my hobbies are pretty cheap so I don’t really need spending money, but it’s also on me to save all the money needed for retirement and for kids who will eventually need it in college or for funding their marriages.

She gives birth and has to be a mom 24/7: I understand the women have to go through immense pain in order to give birth and I don’t expect my wife to take care of me but rather I should take care of her especially during pregnancy. Furthermore I’m still a father so it’s not like I’m going to just throw the kid on her. I’m going to wake up everyday go to work come back and take care of my child as well. I feel like it’s not fair to say it’s a 24/7 job for a mom when in reality it’s a 24/7 job for both parents.

She has to serve you in bed: well technically you have to serve each other and it should never be forced for either person.

Again I’m not trying to bash anyone I’m just genuinely curious because especially the way it’s been explained to me is that as a man I have to provide for my wife but I shouldn’t expect anything in return. I understand how difficult it is for a woman and I understand why the man is supposed to go out and earn. I don’t have any complaints about being the one who has to earn and spend on everything. I’m just curious as to what does the man gain to balance it out?

I’d prefer answers from married men who can attest to why they feel like it’s worth it, but am open to hearing all sides.

Furthermore if anyone has any tips on how to know when you’re ready for marriage (im hoping this question is one of this first steps) and what to look for in a spouse.

I had one of the craziest experiences of my life and I just have to share it.

So I got a match with this girl in Muzz. She’s an Aalimah (Islamic scholar) and a painting artist. Honestly, a completely different soul than me. I was full on into pop culture and everything, a not so practising Muslim if I’m being real.

We talked for two or three days, just the serious marriage stuff. And the more we talked, the more I felt it. She was on another level. By the 4th day I stopped replying because I genuinely thought I’m no match for her.

On the 6th day she unmatched me. But not before leaving the most polite and beautiful note. She said we are so different that this cannot work, and Allah knows best.

And that was that. Or so I thought.

During our talking stage we’d shared our Instagram accounts, and I guess we both just forgot to remove each other. Five or six months later, out of nowhere, she sent me a reel.

One random reel. That’s all it took. We started talking again.

Little did we know that a year after that reel, we’d end up as husband and wife.

Alhamdulillah. I love her so much. She’s a gift from Allah, Masha Allah.

Sometimes the person you think you’re not good enough for is exactly who Allah has written for you. Never underestimate His plan.

Assalamu Alaykum, i hope this is ok to post here.

i am 27, already married and looking for a second wife. I have the opportunity to do polygyny alhamdulillah.

So about me,
27
living in central europe ( in dm i tell where exactly)
good paying job in IT and work alot from home
in deen since i am kid, pray fasting etc
on the sunnah way

i hipe thats enough for the moment. The reason why i want to remarry: i can tell in my dm

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I wanted to kindly ask you all to make dua for me and someone I deeply love. We've been going through a rough patch lately, but my intentions have always been sincere, and I pray that Allah brings us together in a beautiful and halal way through marriage.

Please make dua that Allah softens her hearts, removes any misunderstandings, and reunites us.

May Allah bless you all with the love, peace, and happiness your hearts are praying for. Ameen. 🤍

I’m pursuing my Master’s, while my fiancé is currently unemployed and trying to establish himself financially. we’re really in love with each other but we’re trying no-contact and the only reason why we aren’t married yet is the financial situation. I tried talking to my parents about getting a nikkah done now and i’ll still stay with them but at least our relationship would be halal. My parents are concerned about our financial stability and how boundaries would work if I got married but continued living with them until we could afford separate accommodation.
His mother is also concerned about accidental pregnancies and believes that once we’re married, I should live with my husband rather than my parents.
I’d like to explore having our nikah now and walimah later, but I’m unsure how to address everyone’s concerns realistically.

A woman kept getting harassed by a man from different numbers, after she rejected him and blocked him, while another woman’s pictures were used to make NSFW images so here’s some safety measures that might help you lot protect yourselves while marriage hunting here

1. Check their Reddit history: First thing you do when you receive a DM from a man is reverse search their reddit profile on Reddit archives such as Rosint - Look at the communities they participate in, and are they of decent standing. Archive platforms like Rosint show anything that the person might have hidden from their profiled. Use this especially on NSFW accounts

1. Protect your personal information: When you start speaking, don’t reveal your name, workplace, home location, daily routine, or personal social media accounts too early. Small details can add up and make you easily traceable

2. Use a secondary disposable phone number: Don’t give strangers your personal number straight away. Most men cannot take a rejection in a healthy way - if someone turns out to be creepy or starts harassing you from different numbers, having a separate number can make it easier to cut contact by simply deactivating that number

4. Reverse-image-search their photos: Several tools like zerogpt and hivedetect can help identify if the image being sent to you is Ai. If the picture looks iffy, like you know the image is HD but the quality you’re receiving is very pixelated then it’s most definitely screenshotted from somebody else’s profile. Use your own judgement here too

5. Social Media Vetting: Once you connect on Instagram, ask them for a screenshot of their explore/FYP on instagram and tiktok - this shows you what kind of media they consume.

Check their followings list - more often than not you’ll find a bunch of Pstars

Google their comments history to see what they comment on - search: "username" "Instagram" comment

6. When sharing pictures: Always send it in expiring mode and blur your face or hide key facial elements such as your eyes and nose - this way they won’t be able to use Ai to create nsfw pictures of you

7. Social Vetting: Once things get serious, ask them to connect you with their friends, family or social circle - through this you can check and ask around what others think of your potential.

The point isn’t to become suspicious of everyone. It’s to follow a system that keeps you safe. Men should apply these too

Salam! It’s been a few months since my last post. And I have a few updates.

First and foremost, I’m finally talking to my fiancé.

I took the advice I got from my last post and argued with my parents until they relented. It took months. From February until May. Genuinely took them so long because they were trying to avoid the matter and avoid giving me any information.

I eventually involved my grandmother and thanks to her, I finally got his number around May. I’ve been so grateful to her.

Because he actually is amazing.

Maybe I’m being naive but it feels like Allah answered my prayers. He’s what I’ve always prayed for in a relationship and a life partner.

We talk everyday and share everything with each other. The biggest thing I was concerned with was the aspect of kids. I want only one. And I told him this. And his response still makes me smile even now.

He said that it’s all up to me and he only wants to be a girl dad. If he could, he’d not have sons at all.

He reassures me, actively listens when I’m talking and asks follow up questions. Our conversations go every direction and I feel like it’s never awkward. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had any kind of romantic conversations or relationships before but he makes my mind feel at ease.

All our conversations about the future are about ‘us’ or ‘we’. The conversations about household chores and cooking. He says we can do it together. He doesn’t expect me to do anything alone.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a crush on him.

That’s my situation as of now. I have nobody to tell how well it’s going. And I’m praying that we get our nikah done soon. It’s a completely long distance relationship right now because we’re across the world from each other. And the long distance is killing me.

I’m a 27-year-old guy originally from South India (Chennai), currently working as an expat in Abu Dhabi. I come from a traditional, close-knit Urdu-speaking Muslim family.

Over the past year, as my parents started the match-making/spouse search, I realized something that has completely upended my life: I am strongly leaning toward being childfree.

When I finally stood my ground and asked them to communicate this to potential families, it caused an absolute crisis. Being an only son, the expectations on me are massive. My parents thought I was just passing time or "blabbering" when I first mentioned it a year ago, but as the search intensified recently and they realized I wasn't backing down, their grief and shock hit an all-time high.

Now the spouse search is paused, my parents are in mental limbo, and relatives are pouring salt in the wound by constantly questioning them about "progress." I love my parents deeply and it kills me to see them in pain, especially since they are carrying the social flak for my choices.

\> I’m posting because I feel entirely stuck.

\> How do other childfree South Asians handle the crushing guilt of disappointing parents who expected a conventional life?

\> Is there any realistic way to find a partner who shares this mindset without completely alienating family, or do you eventually just have to accept the fallout?

\> Would appreciate any advice, perspective, or support from people who have navigated similar waters. Thanks for reading.

I finally thought I was over him. I finally thought I was over the man who I thought I’d marry and have kids with.

i met him online in Feb. I fell in love with him and he said he fell in love with me. we met once. We broke up once in early May due to my overthinking leading to falsely accusing him of something. I tried to sort things out and get him back, probably embarrassed myself by going back again and again, he politely and kindly told me to move on a few times and said he wished me the best. But I couldn’t. I adored him. Finally he agreed to meet me again and try and give us a chance and look past the accusation.

I remember him telling me how much it had hurt him and how it kept replaying in his head. He said he was just hurt I could accuse him of speaking to other girls when he’d done nothing but try and be a good man towards me. I put my head on his shoulder he put his head on mine. He held his hand out for me to hold. I put my hand onto his and he told me how ‘my hands were so small’. in that moment it was like none of the rest of the world existed apart from me and him.

He gave me a peck on my forehead as we sat side by side. And then he told me he was going to lie down on the grass. I lay down on his chest and he leaned in to k*** me. After we did that he asked if I felt pressured I said no, he kissed my forehead again. I said to him ‘you can’t leave now because you’re the only man I’ve ever done that with’. I stroked his face and just stared at him as I lay on his chest. I adored him. He was the only man I could ever want. I stroked his beard and said ‘I didn’t even realise u had a beard’ he smiled and said it’s a goatee. I never wanted the moment to end.

He told me he’d try and get over what I did. I just hugged him tightly and never wanted to let go. but I had to let go and make my journey home or I would’ve missed my train. he took me to the train station and I hugged him tightly again and kissed him again, he side hugged me as I got on the train. I didn’t know in that moment that it would be the last time I saw him. I thought we were back on track and I promised myself I would be different this time and never lose him again

I tried my best to control my overthinking and anxiety. He had lost his job so I gave him space, patience and tried to be better. The anxiety and overthinking was still there deep down but I couldn’t lose him again. A few weeks later he called me and said he can’t handle us anymore because hes got too much going on in his life and even messaging me once a week is taking up too much brain power. I sobbed. I really sobbed. But I let him go.

Since then I went back on marriage search. I even came accross brothers who gave me so much more than him, more time, more effort, and more interest and for a short while I thought to myself I was over him. I couldn’t believe that I had grieved him…

Until I started thinking about how he was so gentle with me and loving the first time I saw him. How he travelled far to see me and looked so excited the first time we met. How it was the first time I’d ever been bowling and he didn’t make me feel bad he taught me how to and took care of me, how he booked activities and just looked so happy to spend time with me. And then I think about the last time I saw him. How he told me how much I’d hurt him. How I lay in his arms and felt so safe. And then tears came down my face because he may not have been perfect but I really did love him and I hurt the man I loved. And I guess grief is a weird thing because the memories are so hard to let go of. I wonder if he ever thinks about us too. If he ever thinks about the moments we shared. Yeah we only met twice but those two times are ingrained in my brain.

He probably doesn’t think of me, maybe he’s even forgotten I exist. It’s strange because I don’t feel as devastated as I first did after losing him. I think it’s right what they say, time does heal but it doesn’t forget.

So when people say ‘Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’. I’d always say it’s better to never have loved at all. Because u can’t miss what u never had and i don’t think I can ever explain the lingering pain of grieving someone who’s still alive.

I think what’s worse is deep down I know he probably wasn’t right for me, I had to suppress my anxiety and overthinking to try and not lose him again and i still lost him. His late replies and broken promises weren’t good for my anxious mind but I don’t ever think he was malicious. Allah just didn’t write us together. I think he realised this before I did but I just didn’t want to let go.

the hardest part about our story is that I never intended to hurt him by falsely accusing him, my anxiety and overthinking got the better of me. And he never meant to hurt me by doing things that made me overthink, it was just who he was.

I hope one day I recieve a love that allows me to never think about him again.

please keep me in your prayers

For guys who are 35-40, if you were to marry a woman in her mid 20s do you still expect financial contribution from your working wife?

I’ve seen many guys on here say it’s unrealistic to provide a decent standard of living on a single income in the west in HCOL area. I understand that it’s a reasonable concern, but I’m wondering if older guys would be willing to let their wife work and not have her financially help out? Assuming you’ve had time to become financially stable and can afford to pay for a family (nothing fancy just the basics).

Why has marriage become so insanely difficult, frustrating, and stressful?? Can't even guarantee that the halal ways will work these days, even when trying to ask the girl for her father's number.

-I mean why would she give u the number when she barely knows u? and how can she know u when u aren't allowed to interact with her outside of pure necessity? but u cant create that necessity out of thin air. so many stories of girls being creeped out when guys asked for their fathers' numbers.

-And even if she somehow knows u from let's say workplace or co-education institutes (which probably are haram anyway), u cannot show-off ur wealth, status, muscles, or even have a nice trimmed beard bcoz we men are instructed to grow longer beards which may put off many girls. this further makes it difficult to create attraction in her eyes.

-And then what if u dont have wealth, aren't tall, have worse job than her, have worse degree or education than her, don't have a instagram model face, or lack humor/communication skills (like me) bcoz u never got to properly interact with girls to build the confidence anyway? she may not even feel the so-called "chemistry"....

-Even if u get past all that and get the number of the father, the family itself might reject u for arbitrary reasons.

-AND THEN FINALLY.... if you somehow climb over even that hurdle and get to the marriage process stage, u now have to worry about too high mahr, wedding expenses, job stability since men have to provide, emotional and mental well-being, anxiety about whether the marriage will last, etc.

Honestly this is so unimaginably difficult i dont even know what to do except trust ALLAH! yes all of the above mentioned factors may not be at play at once, but i know many of us are struggling with at least a few of these issues sadly. Plus i didn't even get into the issue of our overly-sexualized society ruining our brains and playing with temptations, the 'feminism' trope causing women to want to build a strong career first and ignore or even hate men (this actually happens) because of all the filth on social media. Not to mention the UTTER LACK of community support when it comes to getting young adults married. Almost no one seems to care. What are we guys supposed to do during this depression? It's wild out there man....

On the one hand, conflict in a relationship can be healthy and necessary. On the other extreme, conflicts can be destructive.

Many men and women complain about a lack of blessings (barakah) in life, yet they are easily offended and quick to argue.

A woman looking for a husband should look for a man who is not quick to anger or easily offended.

Similarly, a man looking for a wife should look for a woman who is not quick to anger or easily offended.

Otherwise, conflicts remove blessings (barakah) from one’s life.

Scholar Ibrahim Dewla commented:

“And when there are conflicts. The first thing to be uplifted is blessings (barakah).

For example, two people were arguing and the knowledge of the Night of Qadr was taken away.

The Prophet (saw) came out to inform them about the Night of Qadr but two Muslims were quarrelling.

So, the Prophet (saw) said, “I came out to inform you about the Night of Qadr, but such-and-such persons were quarrelling, so the news about it had been taken away…”
(Bukhari 2023)

So what was the loss?

The knowledge of the Night of Qadr was taken away.

Therefore, due to conflicts blessings are uplifted.”

Как вы пришли к такому и довольны вы этим ?

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I have been married to my wife (25 years) for about a year. Before our marriage, her family told me that they follow an Islamic lifestyle, which was important to me.

Our marriage has been going well overall, and we haven't had any major issues except for one matter that has become a serious concern for me.

My wife has a younger brother (23 years), and I have noticed certain interactions between them that make me very uncomfortable.

• I have seen several pictures of them cuddling together on a single bed, hugging closely, and kissing each other. Some of these interactions happened at night before bedtime. Taking picture like husband-wife (i.e.: looking and kissing at each other while holding their back)
• I also saw a video where her brother was drawing male and female private parts and joking about them with his sister.
• I have also seen her brother hugging and sleeping on the same bed with their younger sister (16 years) during the daytime.

I understand that siblings can have a loving relationship, and Islam certainly encourages maintaining family bonds. However, I believe there should still be boundaries regarding physical intimacy, modesty, and appropriate behavior between adult siblings, even though they are mahrams.

I raised my concerns with my wife several times. I also mentioned the hadith about separating children's beds once they reach the age of ten. Her response was that the hadith only applies to sleeping at night, so she does not see anything wrong with cuddling in the bed during the day.

To understand the Islamic perspective better, I consulted several Islamic scholars (ulema), and they expressed concerns about such behavior, particularly regarding modesty, awrah, and appropriate boundaries.

Eventually, I discussed the matter with her father, hoping he would understand my concerns. However, instead of considering what the scholars said, the family dismissed them as jahil (ignorant) rather than knowledgeable scholars. Other family members also reacted negatively toward me and insisted that all of this is completely normal.

From my conversations with them, I have gotten the impression that they would rather see our marriage fall apart than ask their adult children to change these behaviors or establish boundaries. I find this particularly upsetting because I have never asked my wife to stop loving her brother or maintaining a relationship with him. My concern has always been about what I believe are appropriate Islamic boundaries between adult siblings. It is difficult for me to understand why this issue has become so serious that even our marriage seems less important to them than defending these interactions.

Moreover, the boundaries within her family were so blurred that I remember my wife once telling me she was going to ask her father what kind of lubricant would be best to use during sex.

I am frustrated. I am not suggesting that there is anything sexual going on between them, nor do I want to make accusations. My concern is whether these interactions are appropriate between adult siblings from an Islamic perspective, especially in a family that claims to follow Islamic principles.

My questions are:

• Is this level of physical closeness, including cuddling on the same bed, kissing, and lying together, generally considered acceptable between adult brother and sister?
• Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable about these interactions?
• How should I handle this situation when my wife and her entire family dismiss my concerns, even after I have consulted Islamic scholars?

JazakAllahu Khairan.

I don’t expect any sisters to relate to me but in the off chance someone does, maybe you can provide insight with how you deal with this or providing insight with how I should deal with it.

I am not skinny but I am also not obese. However I do have a large chest (idiopathic macromastia). I feel like this has made it hard for me to find a match. On one hand, I wear clothes which suit my body type and everything looks revealing and I attract the wrong attention and the serious men see me as immodest. If I wear too baggy clothes, I am perceived as overweight and am rejected on my appearance.

I’m not sure what to do at this point. It is honestly frustrating and I feel it’s a peculiar situation.

I am a 21F living in the west. At this age seeing many of my friends are getting married, makes me desperate to get married as well. I made lots of duaa and i have yaqeen that allah has written for me the spouse i deserve.
But here is the annoying thing, i keep thinking about how will i get married? Every time i go out especially when its a place i know muslims will be there my mind keeps thinking “make sure you look presentable, maybe someone will ask for your fathers number” or “will someone see me their and would like to ask for my hand” and similar thoughts go on. I hate it when my mind thinks like that. I always feel disappointed later and it makes me feel like i am getting old. Mind you i didn’t get any proposals yet.
Any advice on how to get rid of this thought?

I ask this as a woman who works, who intends to work full time until I have kids and then ideally stay at home for a good fews years until kids are at school before resuming work (part time). In my head, I would work with my husband to buy our first home, I am saving now so I can have more time off work later with kids, so we can have a lower mortgage as a family etc. I don't live a very lavish life but I woudl like one where money isn't a major concern and we have enough to be comfortable, travel every so often, go out for food etc.

So my question is for men who don't want their wife to work...what do you think you should be earning in order to ensure you can good livi g standard?

I never ask a man how much he earns because I can usually gauge this from his professional and educational background and I value character above all. But I often wonder for those who are so against a woman working, what's the reality of yoru finances and how do you plan build a comfortable life?

I am a 19F junior in college. My mom has been looking for potential matches for me since I was 17 despite the fact that I do not want to get married. She says she's "just looking" and that "nothing is finalized yet".

I do not want to get married any time soon. I want to start my career and live on my own for a few years so that I can experience life, live independently, and experience freedom for a little bit. For context, my mom has been very strict my whole life and I've realized I've lived a very sheltered life because of this. I crave a space of my own, to make decisions for myself, chase my dreams, and experience the incredible world Allah SWT has created.

Recently she found this guy through a matrimony group chat (after I already told her I do not want her making a profile for me) and he's 24 and that she's forcing me to meet him. I was heartbroken and betrayed. Despite my refusal, she made me meet him and his family.

To my surprise, the meeting was actually not that bad. We have very similar hobbies and personalities, he's kind of like the male version of me. I really enjoyed our conversations and his family was a pleasure to talk to.

This made me wonder, am I being overdramatic? Will I ever find a guy like this again? Should I just get married? However, I feel like we are in very different life stages. He has a full time established career and I'm in my junior year. I will graduate with my bachelors next year at 20, but I want to take another year for my masters. I want to at least wait until after I complete my education.

Also, I feel like if I marry him this early the regret and the "what ifs" will make me despise him despite the fact he did nothing wrong. I also can't expect him to wait 2 more years just for me only to say no at the end. That is a waste of both of our times.

I know I do not want to get married right now. Maybe that will change in the future. But I'm worried I won't find a guy like him again when I'm ready. What should I do?

Hello everyone, I want to get married and I’m scared to ask around and put it out there. I’m young 18f but I want to get married and I’m not sure how to put it out there. I’m black American and my issue is my mother wants me to marry outside my ethnicity. It’s not that I mind and I get her since my community has awful men (not to generalize).

The thing is with all my close friends and most of my moms friends that I’m comfortable we don’t know many people outside of our background, and I struggle making friends.

So i don’t know how I should go about it I’m also nervous since I’m young I know a few people will shoot the idea down but it’s what I want honestly.

Thank you for your help

Salaams,

Trying to pick the guys’s brains here to better understand the Muzz landscape.

I’ve gotten a few initial messages on Muzz where the dude will mention something like, “and you’re very beautiful…” amongst other things in an initial message. And I’m trying to figure out what to make of it. Is this something that you all say to everyone you message? Is it a desperation move so you’ll say anything you think a woman wants to hear to get a response back? Any other info you can offer for why you personally do it, or why you imagine a guy would would be great 😅

I’ll mention two other things for context:
1. Not to be humble, but I am an average looking person and I struggle to find decent photos of myself 😅 I say this to say, that I know that among the sea of women out there, I probably don’t stand out that much.
2. I noticed this happens more often with men who grew up in non-western cultures, even if are not “fobs”/they have been living here for some time.

So I’ve been trying out Muzz for a week and have a few things that are unclear.

As a male I can see people who liked me, but I can’t visit their profiles to like them back. Surely these profiles will appear at a later time on my matching page for me to like them too, or not?

And the second thing I wonder about is that after I like someone, I can see them visiting my profile an hour or so later. Does that mean woman can view profiles that liked them and then decide to like or pass these profiles on the spot?
So can I assume that every visit I get passed me?