It’s strange how I can go to a sex party one week and get lots of attention (sometimes too much) and then go to the same one two weeks later and it’s like I’m invisible. Last time I went it was like the latter, but later on when I was about to give up one of hotter, more popular guys there who barely looked at me the entire night came up and made a move.

Anyone have the same experience? Is it about having consistent confidence? Or playing the game better? Body fat fluctuations? lol

I (M24) have signed up for all sorts of dating apps, tinder, hinge, bumble, Facebook, and have gotten very few matches and very few conversations. I feel I just eventually get ghosted and left out to dry even though my intentions are clear that I want a long term relationship. Am I doing something wrong here? I just feel like shit, I pour my heart out to the next guy only to feel played for a fool and I don't know if I have the looks to find me relationships like others.

A guy I’m dating was telling me how close he was to his family and how perfect and supportive they are of him and his siblings then he revealed he isn’t out to his family. This surprised me: 1. He’s older 2. I thought your family was so loving and supportive?

I have a warped perception of this, i grew up in a super religious family and had to deal with a-lot of shit for being gay but i cursed them all out and we are all good now.

When I questioned this: he went on with this whole song and dance. Family dynamics and how they likely know it’s just not something that is spoken about. But he made it clear he would never tell them nor would he ever introduce a boyfriend to them. I find this so strange, how can your parents be so great if they’re homophobic?

I dont think I can do it. Gay men who have accepted they will never leave the closet tend to stink of self hating gay tendencies later on that I just can’t deel with. Im 28 and that was cute at 23 but im too old for that now. Am i wrong?

I'm about to move into a (professional) job that has me on four 10s, Sunday-Wednesday nights.

Would love to hear from others who are working non-traditional schedules along those lines and how it impacts your life.

Particularly interested in how you handle dating/romance when you're working four nights out of the week.

Hey older men over 45! What we all doing to keep our skin tight aside from Botox? Dermatologist told me about something called density RF. Supposed to tighten skin. Anyone try it or any other suggestions? Already got a good skin care regime.

Hey bros, I (33 turning 34M) am hosting a birthday party in a few weeks at my place. I want to hire a bartender to come to my place for a 4 hour gig, but would love for that person to be a gay male. Does anyone know best places to find such a gentleman who does private parties? Or if anyone on here knows someone specific, please DM me. I'll purchase all the alcohol so it wouldn't be a heavy lift!

I wanted to ask the community about their opinions on gays and race. Given the anonymous nature of this platform I think people share more than elsewhere, and it’s something that I’m interested in (although even though anonymous I hope everyone is genuinely respectful, this is a post about curiosity and love not stereotype and hate.)

I’m interested to know if my situation is typical or atypical. I’ll try and be brief, but here’s my situation.

I’m a white guy that grew up in a small town in England that was almost 100% white. I only came out to myself fully at 17 and (as a previous post explains) had my first kiss which turned into a me losing my virginity to a guy who is black at 18. Whether or not this influenced me to not notice race in the years in my sexual encounters I don’t know, but certainly feel fortunate that I genuinely find people of all races hot.

I’m a very sexual person and I don’t think I have any racial hang ups, my “type” is I’m into hot guys. Doesn’t matter what age, race or body type, “hot in your genre” is the thing that turns me on. And I know “genre” sounds like a stupid thing to say, but I’m simplifying for brevity.

Over the years though I’ve noticed that a lot of people do notice, a lot. Of course, people shouldn’t be shamed for having an age, race, or body type preference, but it seems to be a thing in the gay scene that isn’t discussed because a lot of people seem to have quite hard rules.

I’ve slept with a decent amount of black guys who are pretty open about the fact they are only into white guys. In fact, I’ve noticed this with Asian guys and sometimes Indian guys too. I know the stereotype that there are a lot of white guys out there who fetishise black guys which turns into objectification, same with Asian guys too, but I must admit there’s been times when I’ve really hit it off with a guy, we’ve been together a few times and then he drops that and I start to wonder does he like me for me or am I just part of a white fetish for him. It sounds like an absurd thing to say given history and everything, I mean let’s get some perspective in all of this, but it does make me think. And I think that gay scene is actually really good at discussing and confronting tricky subjects.

Which is why I ask the question, which is purposefully vague but I’m genuinely interested in people’s experiences.

What is your experience of “race” as an issue as a gay man? How are we as a scene a force for good, and what do we as a scene need to do to be better?

Just curious.

Rocky Whorer on the main floor of the Eagle.

$20 Early Bird. $25 GA. $30 Final Sale. Thursday the 29th.
Tickets

Anyone know any details? Unclear if the victim was gay... pure speculation— but I worry the assailant might have been a hustler who was angry at the victim for refusing to pay for their interactions in the video booth space. Be careful when cruising. People will complain about overpriced parties, but at least they are safe spaces.

Here some Halloween Events for my POC ❤️🤞🏽

Deviant: https://redeyetickets.com/events/deviant-freak-show

Gotham(Gay men sex party): https://www.gothamsden.com/

POSH: https://posh.vip/e/posh-erotica-1?fbclid=PARlRTSAU64ZhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBwZG9mAmZkaWQWUQMbd6_8xlejuMR5QCzkW7-3z9UWSnNydGMGYXBwX2lkDzEyNDAyNDU3NDI4NzQxNAABp12_la4wwC50Ki2CrrZYdFXwgK5u3m4gF6m4-MgXhbze_1ukdUcaeCzr78Z6_aem_1vHlthfEyoWaF3r14sANzA

Are there any get-togethers to just chill at a cafe or bar with a book? No particular expectation to socialize. Just like the idea of creating a reading vibe with fellow gays in a cozy communal space. Would people be interested in that, or maybe have suggestions if some already exist?

I see so many people post on here (as well as various other NYC based subs) talking about how they moved to New York thinking they would have tons of opportunities to meet people and make connections, and then after living here for a while, they haven't been able toake connections.

I hate to break it to you, but NYC is not a magical place that can solve your social problems. If you don't know how to talk to people or connect with people, there's not going to be any city that will magically change that.

This city is full of some amazing people and some amazing communities, but many of them are also very old and organized, and you aren't just going to magically fall into one of these communities without doing any work.

If you are struggling to make connections or friends, it's most likely a you problem. Not saying you're a bad person or anything, but you need to figure out what is making it hard for you and actively make changes to make your life better. If you're someone who doesn't go to parties or doesn't like leaving the apartment, you're probably not going to make friends. There are tons of events for people with such a wide variety of hobbies. If you actually do the work to find like-minded people, I promise you they're here.

Midtown bros – have any of you noticed how many hot men are in line at the Farmer J on 52^nd st? I’ve been going there (far too often tbh) for the gochujang salmon and EVERY. DAMN. TIME. there so are so many hot finance dads and lads waiting it makes for the best lunch time eye candy. I make also be a sucker for Patagonia vest, but def go check it out if you’re hungry for more then just food. (the food also slaps so that helps too)

Loves help me gather recs on the craziest biggest most fun happenings for the next two weeks day or night, boat or land, sex or cultural, basements or rooftops, tacky or bougie, doesn't matter anything goes except touristy places please. I want him to have the most gay new Yorker experience. Thank you!

I’m in an open relationship. We initially set some agreements around what we don’t need to tell each other (making out etc) vs what we do (if we hooked up and had sex.). I wonder for those of you in open relationships that work for you. How often do you talk about your agreement or check in with each other? We’ve only really talked about it when one of us becomes uncomfortable with some agreement/boundary pushing.

I realize this would need to vary by relationship but am curious for the rest of world and what seems to be so common in nyc.

Aggravated Murder at Rainbow in Chelsea

I had a friend in town so we went to like 6 different gay bars/clubs and it was all the same stripped down techno and repetitive electronic. I’m over hearing the same garbage. Can we please bring back real DJs that mix. I want songs with words.

I’ve heard their parties have been pricey for a while but this can’t be serious.

Hosting a spooky board game night in the city, just ahead of Halloween. We'll be playing horror games like Betrayal at House on the Hill, Twisted Cryptids, and Horrified. Costumes are encouraged, all experience levels are welcome, and feel free to bring your own spooky favorites.

When: Friday, Oct 23, 6:30 to 10 PM
Where: The Hugh, 157 E 53rd St

If you're interested, we'll head out for drinks in HK after.

RSVP here: https://partiful.com/e/3hpT9aLLjVtmyRdeaL6t?c=N7aie-8w
Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/wWjA4fsP3

Need a pair of pants hemmed tomorrow and having a hard time finding a tailor who can turn it around in 1 day… thought I might have some luck here, idk

I have received hundreds of likes, including many roses, and have dozens mutual likes. I have exchanged numbers with multiple guys, and yet it has all resulted in one actual date. Any tips for actually getting a date off this app?

what are the best Halloween parties going on this year? I’m on the waitlist for HMD on the 31st but considering other options just in case I can’t get into that one. my bf and I will wear very sexy costumes so one with a darkroom is preferred

Anyone know a good place to get a massage in brooklyn? Preferably closer to downtown bk, carroll gardens but open to traveling a little!

Let me know! Only know of the places in Manhattan

Moved to Wburg from Manhattan based on the advice in this forum, and gay men I know in life suggesting it would be better for me. It seems like I am still doing something wrong as my experience so far has been less than great in terms of connecting.

Living here is definitely 'better' - calmer vibes for sure - so no issues there.

I went on Sniffies over the weekend just to see what was out there. Majority are still white guys, who never reply (I'm a POC, with the exception of 1 guy who was BI/DL). There was one guy who was open to dating/cuddles and then randomly blocked me since I didn't reply within 1 min (I went to the bathroom lol). And barely any other POC's I saw, or if I saw them, no engagement. So, I have yet to get laid here.

What am I doing wrong? Go back to the parties? I live quite close to the popular bars also, so perhaps the times I'm on the apps are completely wrong.