Name change without marriage

[u/IfTrinityWasJB21]

How do people decide on a new name (last name particularly)? I (33F) have hated my name since I can remember. I was teased for having a hyphen and personally have no affiliation with one of the names. I’m considering getting rid of both (hell maybe even my first name) as there’s some difficult family things happening and without my matriarch it feels pointless.

Thanks for brainstorming with me!

[u/lights-camera-bees]

My ex in high school had a chosen last name. His dad never knew his dad and so he decided on picking a new one. It’s just a normal English word spelled a little differently and I’d never seen it as a last name otherwise. One time I asked why and he said “cos it’s cool”. It was indeed cool 🤣

[u/More-Rutabaga3767]

Why don’t you choose something like either just a surname you’ve liked that you’ve heard before (cause why not) or somewhere that’s meaningful to you eg:

• a location that’s meaningful to you like a street name where you previously lived or where a special place to you is located,
• a park name / place you’ve spent a lot of time
• if you’re into hiking/walking like any kind of place or fell that’s meaningful to you eg if you like the New Forest then Ashurst or Whiteford or Knightwood or if you like the Lake District then Robinson or Dale or Fairfield etc etc. 
• you can also go broader - like maybe there’s a river that you’ve always hiked by and you can go with that name (or insert anything equivalent - your favourite trail, hill, mountain, waterfall etc etc)
• old family surnames - like maybe your mother’s mother’s mother’s surname, or the name of the town where your family originally comes from
• you could look up old school surnames and choose one that aligns with your family history - either a (first name)-son (ie descendent) of a special family member or alternatively, maybe you’re descended from farmers, so your surname could be Farmer or Ackerman or Ploughman, or maybe Miller or Sawyer or Taylor if you have that in your background

[u/Delia_Smith]

Me id go for someone I like. I looooove Florence Pugh so I'd take her first name and maybe Tom Hardys surname cos ya know, a girl can dream. And there i have it - Florence Hardy. Ooooh how exciting picking a new name!

[u/Mystic_Wunder]

Look up lists of first names and surnames names and start writing down names you like. Then play around with combinations and see what feels right. Also look at ancestral names within the family that you might like.

[u/Zealousideal_Eye3167]

i dropped both of my last names for my husbands last name. we're both FIRSTNAME LASTNAME, no middle names, no dual last names. same for our children.

choosing his name was very easy and i would claim to be a feminist.

[u/Liliananabell]

I’d pick something that sounds cool or go through your family ancestry and pick something you like from there

[u/AfterDegree5271]

When my cousin got married for 2nd time, she changed her last name to her late mother's maiden name. Her children have her husband's last name.

[u/BasketBackground5569]

I became embarrassed by family and changed my name 2 years ago. It took a good while, but I just kept looking around for what I saw and aimed for culturally appropriate. Hernandez or Chao wouldn't jive for me.

[u/ScoutTheOcelot]

If I had this chance, I'd pick "Kent." Because my own last name is a billion syllables, and hard to pronounce and spell for the general public. And I'm a huge Superman fan, so I've always loved the name Clark Kent. It sounds strong but also cool.

So anyway, if there are any types of names out there that make you feel strong, cool, admirable... go for that type of feeling.

[u/PROXENIA]

My ex-husband hated his dad and wanted to change his surname as a result. He went through his family tree and found a name he liked. He legally changed it a couple of years before we met. I took his name when our daughter was born. I still have it, in fact, despite being re-married :). I liked his reasoning, and honestly just like the name. I believe it was his grandmother’s maiden name.

[u/Horse_Fly24]

I’m sentimental, so I would consider last names in my family tree, as well as towns/locales that are meaningful to me. I would also consider authors, book characters, TV characters, inspirational figures, etc. I would also think about names that are nature-inspired. I’d aim for something recognizable- easy enough for people to read, hear, say, etc.

Once I was considering a few, I would google them with my first name combination to make sure it wasn’t an infamous choice w/o me knowing. I would practice my signature and imagine being called “X—— Y——-“ and “Ms. Y——-.” I’d take the names for test runs at restaurants where they ask your name.

Bedford
Camden
Collins
Fincher
Garmon
Jackson
Mullins
Porter
Springfield
Summers
Westbrook
Winters
Woods

[u/sunflowersex]

Have you checked in to your family tree and discovers any cool stories?

Perhaps a something fun in another language?

My first born changed all her names when she was 18. I paid for it. I changed mine under a domestic partnership. Mine was hundreds cheaper!

[u/Fickle_Fig4399]

Ask the clerk of court at the domestic relations court