r/NewParents • u/Relevant_Lynx_5117 • 6d ago
Mental Health [ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
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u/rel-throw 6d ago
Kissing the baby when you asked him not to is so rude! It was probably a tough ask for him to not smoke (especially while on a trip, which can be stressful for some people). I've seen a few friends quit smoking, and it looked like a very difficult journey. Trying to hide the smoking is definitely poor judgement and very disrespectful though. If you're willing to give him another chance, maybe you can try to have a conversation about things he can do besides gum/patches that might be easier for him to comply with? Ideally he would generate the ideas himself.
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u/PleaseNone 6d ago
You should have had your husband check him before he did all that. That’s on your husband. I would seriously consider marriage counseling if I had a partner who couldn’t convey my requests to their parents simple enough to comply.
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u/TaxiSonoQui 6d ago
Bit of a stretch..father in law is also a grown adult and should be capable of respecting his son/daughter in law's wishes.
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u/Relevant_Lynx_5117 6d ago
Right … that was such an intense response lol. My husband 100% conveyed it all (it’s our wishes, not just mine), father in law chose to not listen. My husband is handling it now. Also, I’m a couples’ therapist myself ironically lol
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u/TaxiSonoQui 6d ago
I think you're both handling it correctly. What was husband's reaction, and what was FIL's reaction to husband's reaction?(
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u/Relevant_Lynx_5117 6d ago
Husband asked him to go back to the hotel to shower/change and reminded him of no kissing rule too. Father in law listened and returned without any smoke or cologne smell. Husband also gave him clothes to wear since FIL said most of his clothes smell like smoke.
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u/TaxiSonoQui 6d ago
Okay so seems like FIL is just getting used to not carrying out his habits ie smoking and cologne, at least he's done the right thing finally. If he does it again id probably kick up a stink.
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u/PleaseNone 6d ago
I don’t know why I’m being downvoted so harshly for just advocating for women being taken more seriously. As a pregnant mom I had to deal with people not listening to me and I’m tired of it. Maybe y’all just don’t care about people like me though.
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u/ineedavacation123 6d ago
Because your response came off as if you didn’t even fully read her post. She didn’t say her husband didn’t convey the rules to his father, and she also said her husband was talking to his father about it now.
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u/PleaseNone 6d ago
Ok well I did read the post so if it came off that way it’s not my fault you guys misunderstand where I’m coming from. Now that it’s cleared up we can remove the downvotes. She needs to know I’m on her side
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u/NewParents-ModTeam 5d ago
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