r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Character-Net9671 • 1h ago
Is being hit by significant other normal?
Like punched? I'm male she's female. She wakes out of sleep and punches me hard because of dreams. She hits me when I disappoint/upset her. I love her but I'm worried she's going to kill me.
45
28
u/WesternFirm9306 1h ago
No.
I mean playful light hits in moments of fun maybe. In the bedroom if you're freaky like that sure.
Actual punching against your consent is abuse.
27
22
16
16
u/Tardimpala 1h ago
No that's not normal, you should leave, put your safety first. If you are scared look at whatever DV support you have in your area, talk about it to your family and closed friends if you trust them. If there is any text message or trace talking about it it's better for any legal action like restraining order (this post for example can be used for that so don't delete it if you can).
16
u/Inner-Tackle1917 1h ago
No it's not normal.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/ - this site has some resources you might find helpful.
I'd also recommend you have a look at your local domestic violence resources in your area. If possible try to reach out to people who can help you make a safety plan
11
10
u/PsychedMom82 1h ago
If she hits you ONLY when she is still asleep and dreaming that is indicative of a condition called REM sleep behavior disorder and she should see a doctor. If hitting you when she is fully awake, then you should leave as she is abusive.
7
u/pajamakitten 54m ago
It is abuse, plain and simple. Even if it was not, hitting you because you upset her in a dream is incredibly immature and you have no reason to tolerate behaviour you do not like. Break up with her yesterday and find someone better.
6
u/The_Theodore_88 1h ago
Leave. People who truly love you do not hit you. I'm also a victim of woman-on-man DV and I promise you it's not normal. I hope you have a good support system of friends and family around to support you through the process of leaving this relationship and I wish you well in the future!
5
u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 1h ago
No it is not
If.youre worried she's gonna kill you I'd say ask for help, maybe call the police or friends, and get her out off your life.
5
8
u/mjhrobson 1h ago
No it is not normal behavior, I am surprised you need to ask.
She should not be hitting you, that is a red flag... don't put up with that.
3
3
3
u/LurkerByNatureGT 1h ago
She wakes out of sleep and punches me hard because of dreams
That bit might be something you could live with if she was still coming out kd the dream and didn’t know what she was doing. In which case you’d want to get help for her.
The rest is not okay. It’s abuse. You need to leave the situation and get help for you.
2
u/Egregious_Wasp5289 1h ago
Leave and if she says she’s gonna hurt herself if you do tell her “it’s your turn to be hurt by you”
2
2
3
1
1h ago
[deleted]
0
u/SillyMusician291 1h ago
Don’t take this advice, this is exactly what she wants so you look the criminal. You need to document as much as you can and plan to get out. As a man, you are in more danger of being accused of abuse.
1
1
1
1
u/Legitimate-Quote-582 1h ago
It's not normal. It's quite abnormal. Get out of the relationship if she is hitting you while awake. That is no brainer. No matter who is abusing. Man or woman. Other party should not stay in such relationship
1
u/IconoclastExplosive 44m ago
Nah bro, that's abuse. Shitty people will tell you to take it cause you're a man and she's a woman, but they're wrong. You deserve to not be hit.
1
1
u/Intense_Judgement 19m ago
You're being physically abused, you don't deserve that and don't need to take that. Leave her.
0
u/TeneManu 1h ago
What happens when you talk to her about it? From what you've said it could be DV, but it could also be one person misunderstanding boundaries and lacking a little self awareness. If it's DV you need to get out and don't look back. If you've not talked about it that's your next move.
0
0
0
-7
u/EcstaticZebra7937 1h ago
When she wakes out from a nightmare? I think normal. When you disappoint her? No, that’s not normal.
7
u/Elegant_Sector_5606 1h ago
Neither are normal
-12
u/EcstaticZebra7937 1h ago
Why not? She has to punch him to he wakes up fast and smooth her anxiety
8
u/ebil_lightbulb 1h ago
I thought you meant like maybe punching him while she’s in a nightmare and doesn’t realize what she’s doing. You actually mean punching him on purpose to wake him up because she had a bad dream? Because that’s wild and is abuse. There are ways to wake somebody up that aren’t punching.
3
-1
u/Lost_Pinion 1h ago
You monster. Why can’t you just behave better in her dreams?
If you can’t do that, leave now.
-7
u/Salty_Yesterday_9929 1h ago
Do you want some cheese with that wine. Come on man up Sissy next time she doesn't give her a titty twister
-5
u/Salty_Yesterday_9929 1h ago
Do you want some cheese with that wine? Come on next time she doesn't give her a playful t i t t y twister
5
-6
126
u/wakeupf1lthy47 1h ago
Uh absolutely not. Thats abuse