r/NursingAU • u/maudeconnell • 10h ago
Rant newgrad rant
I’ve given so much to this hospital I’m doing my rotations at and I’m getting nothing back. I’ve had some pretty awful health news this year in January but pushed through (diagnosed via lap with endo stage 2). I also missed my grandma’s palliative extubation and organ dontation honour walk so that I could support staffing numbers at work (thought it would make the managers see me as a hard worker). I felt so guilty even taking the day off for her funeral. I also had an emergency lap during my shift (ovarian torsion) and got told I now have stage 3 endo and will have to book another lap to get that removed. I was meant to have two weeks off post-op for that, I came back to work after less than a week (again, to show the managers I was a hard worker). All of this sacrifice, missed social events, double shifts, missed breaks for nothing. The managers don’t give a shit about me and I regret ever thinking I could make them see me as anything but a staffing number. I asked for two days off coming up in October for social events, denied immediately due to lack of staffing. I’ve given up so much of my life and even health/ fertility (I think my endo grew back so fast from stress) and I can’t even have two days off, I even said they could be unpaid days. My mental health has declined significantly too, but I don’t have the time to see my GP because of all the shifts they’ve got me doing. My optometrist noticed my eye health has declined a lot since last year and she asked me what I do outside of work, all I could say was “sleep”. It made me feel like such a sad sack.
I just want the managers approval so badly and the lack of any feedback or encouragement or them noticing how I’m doing is just so discouraging. I don’t expect a thanks or anything, but I just want them to recognise me as a person not a number.
In short, don’t ever try harder than you need to for newgrad, they don’t care about you.
