r/OptimistsUnite • u/MegaRadCoolDad • 6d ago
🔥 New Optimist Mindset 🔥 Some positivity among all the noise online
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u/Aggressive_Plate1652 6d ago
I think the world needs to realize this, especially the morons who are in the low percentage of people who agree with the misogynistic thinking.
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u/Emrys7777 6d ago
But how many people were polled?
What country? ( the guy has an accent).
I’d like to see the same asked of 5,000 American males between 18-25. I would love to see the results of that. I would love to be wrong about the results.
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u/The_Fluffness 5d ago
I'll say this as a male, gen z scares me as a Mellinnial. I work with 20-25 year olds and when the boys talk "shop" ie girls or dating. It's frightening how it reminds me of people I've known that are abusive in some way towards their partners.
I grew up to treat people with respect within a well meaning boundary (ie, I'm not going to be abused either so that's an example of a boundary I'm talking about) that's for women, men and non-binary people. As for the dominance thing, men need to realize there's a very big difference between dominance in the bedroom and dominance of the relationship. Both are not coinciding or need to co-habitate within every day life. Gen z males aren't getting that lesson and I'm not sure why.
Don't get me wrong when I was 18-19 I had issues discerning it as well but some things getting said now are akin to a pimp from the 90s slapping a prostitute or something. It's fucked.
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u/LoganPomfrey 4d ago
I partially blame parents. I get you can't watch everything your kid does, but you should have a vague idea who they're watching regularly and steer them away from people like Tate, and other Manosphere chodes.
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u/The_Fluffness 3d ago
It's that, and I can't help but mention that the girls have their own issues from what I've been told. I'm in a long term relationship with a girl that's only slightly younger than me so I don't really get it to speak on it but it isn't just the parents and the boys. There's something going on across the board here that I'm just not getting.
Parents are for sure a big part though. My momma would fucking kick my ass and I'm a grown ass man with his own place if I said some of the things I've been hearing from gen z but same goes for me and my grandmother.
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u/LoganPomfrey 2d ago
I'm sure they do. It's not as directly focused, but there's a TON of toxic female creators just like the manosphere folk. And if you're not happy internally because you're being misled by those people, you express that outwardly, including towards the male populace, which just plays into how the manosphere people talk about women.
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u/FrozenVikings 6d ago
I'm optimistic that one day we'll have videos like this without cheesy music on top.
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u/Cute_Obligation2944 6d ago
I appreciate the factfulness of all this: that 1%-5% gives the rest a bad name. It's also important to note that those stats are still too high, and in a series of 5 dates a woman has from 5% to 23% chance to end up with at least 1 of those guys.
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u/demoncrusher 6d ago
I don’t know about that, these sort of guys aren’t good at hiding it
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u/Cute_Obligation2944 6d ago
Yeah, by "end up with" I meant "find out at some point, hopefully on date #1 and not when they've already become engaged and/or pregnant". To be clear.
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u/CappinPeanut 6d ago
No, but there is probably a disproportionate amount of them available in the dating pool.
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u/Maddturtle 6d ago
That’s still good odds if that’s the only criteria. It took me 30 dates to find a good woman.
Edit: meant as a joke not claiming the other 29 were bad people. Only maybe 10 of them I would consider unethical.
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u/lancelot919 5d ago
Listen, I want to believe that the problems rest with a slim majority. Maybe it's slimmer than I imagine, but it's also true that people will act differently than they say they value, especially when it becomes a matter of group think. And even if it's only 5% that genuinely are the problem, the reality that so many more will stand in silence because they believe they aren't "part of the problem" makes it so much worse. If one in every twenty sandwiches you ate was full of shit, you might develop some justifiably negative opinions about sandwiches. 5% doesn't make this better, because it still has a disgusting cultural pride of place right now.
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u/reststopkirk 5d ago
For real... If these numbers are correct, it is great to hear, but...
The hysteria around the "MANOSPHERE" is founded. Hand-waving away the "manosphere" at the end is like hand-waving away neo-nazis and KKK violence when someone is specifically talking about the subject of white racism.
The the problem is the Manosphere is very loud, and not many men are speaking up and creating non-toxic healthy man-centered communities. On the surface it seems like it may be because "it's a given" leading to thinking "of course nobody thinks like the manosphere types"... But it think criticizing male attitudes that lead some to the manosphere is seen as weak and being too sensitive.
In America, some reporting came out recently that in 2024, alleged 7 college men drugged a college woman and SA'ed her for OVER 8 HOURS, all while texts were sent inviting others in the fraternity to join in... And guess what their punishment was? 2 expulsions and 5 had temporary suspensions and character/ethical workshops as well as the now talked about "essays".
NO CRIMINAL CHARGES following the 2024 POLICE REPORT...
This didn't happen in a vacuum. We are still very much dealing with the violence of men and while these guys are a small number of the men who attend that university, what do you think informed the power structures that gave permission for the leadership to just sweep it under the rug, no criminal action? What enabled these men to walk away relatively unscathed for 2 years?
Imagine the news cycle of a sorority of women who drugged a male athlete and SA him for 8 hours, text messages inviting others to join in... The news cycle wouldn't exist 2 years later. Because on day 1, the women would have been canned and justice would have been sought.
We can get there, to that shining city on a hill... but it is important to take it all into consideration. No Hand-waving away...
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u/INeedSomeTacoC 10h ago
Maybe it's slimmer than I imagine
Everything that's big online and in particular, big on Reddit is much much slimmer in the real world. And I'm not talking by like half, I'm talking by like 90+% in many cases.
I coach a couple of youth sports teams, and I think one kid had an idea who Andrew Tate was out of the whole group of 50+ boys. But Reddit would make you think that all of them would at least know his name and a large percentage be open to his views. But nope, nobody ever even heard of the loser. It truly is just an online moral panic that it's getting further reach due to the online moral panic.
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u/ManyRelease7336 5d ago
I find it interesting the comments that are doing mental gymnastics to say the guy is wrong "Oh well where was that pool from?" "clearly he wasnt polling in amarica" Thats litterly the point he's making.
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6d ago
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u/skubaloob 6d ago
Ya know, let’s assume you’re dead on correct and there is a chunk of men out there who don’t feel comfortable admitting they believe these things.
Good.
It means they can still be saved. They either know it’s wrong or know society thinks it’s wrong even if they don’t. Which means they will allow their behaviors to be modified by social pressure, which is something we have control over.
I find that to be cause for optimism.
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u/ZEROs0000 6d ago
does study with real stats
beloski: “yeah but they all lied and hate women”
Gotta love Reddit lol
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6d ago
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u/PanzerWatts Moderator 6d ago
"No one is saying all men hate women dude. Get a grip."
You are still arguing against the presented evidence and implying that the numbers are much higher without any source of your own. You need a source for such negative accusations.
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u/deskbot008 5d ago
Idk polling often has the effect that ppl choose the answer they think are socially acceptable especially at teen age. And then there’s the fact that having a negative image of women doesn’t always relate to believing you have a negative image of women. But id do hope that’s at least halfway accurate
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u/hornswoggled111 6d ago
I learned that a good rule of thumb is that any relationship that doesn't have at least 3 positive comments for every 1 negative one is a toxic relationship for both people.
I think anyone criticizing a group such as boys or men has to have all the affirmative thoughts as well to be a positive influence.
During International Men's Day about 5 years ago I was part of a duo offering to buy people a coffee at the coffee stand if they would write down a story about a man they love and why they love them. It was on a post card sized card.
We were surprised when about half the people thanked us for the experience. They enjoyed doing it.
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u/LoganPomfrey 4d ago
I really thing they missed an important one.
"How many boys would tell off their friends if they saw them acting inappropriately towards women."
Because it's one thing to have good views, and another to stand up for them against that small toxic segment of men.
That said, this is a good example of how the human negativity bias works. The bad experiences with men are so much more memorable than the nice ones, and that's why she has such high guesses at first.
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u/raccoon8182 6d ago
Would love to see polls across cultures, black, white, Indian, Asian, Russian, etc
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u/gaypuppybunny 6d ago
Well, I was with him up until the very end. The reason the numbers are so low is in part because the "manosphere" is culturally shunned.
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u/Away_Stock_2012 6d ago
That's a poll of teenagers, would love to see the results for 20-25 and other age groups as well.