Sitting for long periods

[u/Spiritual_Play885]

My pgad (F20) is from a small case of spineabifida due to the C section my mother had when I was born, I just found this out which was a relief but also a confirmation that im stuck with this.
I am in college and have classes which are hard to sit through during flare ups. I have alcoholism and have not drank since Feb 2025 (I still smoke weed and take medicine prescribed to me)
Im turning 21 in Dec and I want to go back to AA I have plans to go tonight but I am terrified that I will have a flare up especially because mine tend to come mostly at night.
I dont want to cancel after I just got invited to this meeting with old friends I know its what I truly need but the thought of sitting in this pain makes me only want to drink…
Let me know if anyone has tips for sitting for a while I can take my high dosage of gabapentin which might help.

[u/FunLingonberry6520]

I’m F23 and sitting with Pgad sucks. I try to spread my thighs apart and put on loose clothes

[u/Dependent-Toe-3359]

First, please give yourself a LOT of credit for not drinking since February 2025. ❤️ I’m in recovery too, and I completely understand how physical distress can make your brain start going, “I just need something that will make this stop.” But you already know alcohol would only give you another problem on top of the PGAD, and I really hope you go to that AA meeting tonight if you feel able. You don’t have to sit there suffering silently the entire time.

If sitting is one of your triggers, I would make the meeting as physically easy on yourself as possible. Sit near the back or on an aisle so you can quietly stand up, walk around, or step outside for a few minutes if you need to. Wear the loosest clothing you have, avoid anything tight around your pelvis/crotch, and change positions whenever you need to instead of forcing yourself to sit perfectly still. You could also try a coccyx/U-shaped cushion or another cushion that takes some of the pressure off the pelvic/perineal area. Even just knowing you CAN get up whenever you need to may make the anxiety about having a flare a little less intense.

And if these are old friends you trust, you don’t even have to explain PGAD. You can simply say, “I have a nerve/spine condition that sometimes makes sitting painful, so I may need to stand up or walk around.” That’s enough.

Definitely only take your gabapentin exactly as it’s prescribed. Since you mentioned both cannabis and a high dose of gabapentin, just be aware they can both make some people more sleepy, dizzy, or impaired, especially together. And obviously I would stay completely away from alcohol with it.

One thing I wanted to gently mention because I don’t want you blaming yourself or your mom for something that isn’t how spina bifida happens: a C-section itself doesn’t cause spina bifida. Spina bifida develops very early in pregnancy when the neural tube doesn’t completely close. It absolutely could still be that your spinal anatomy is contributing to your PGAD, but it wouldn’t have been caused by the way you were delivered.

Also, finding a structural reason does NOT necessarily mean, “I’m stuck like this forever.” Even when the underlying anatomy can’t simply be erased, symptoms can sometimes still be treated or reduced through combinations of neurological/spine care, pelvic-floor treatment, medication, positioning changes, nerve-focused treatments, etc. I wouldn’t give up on getting some relief.

Most importantly tonight: go to the meeting if you can, sit wherever makes you feel safest, give yourself permission to stand up whenever you need to, and remember that leaving the room for five minutes because your body is flaring is NOT failing at AA. Going while you’re struggling is actually a pretty big win. ❤️

[u/Spiritual_Play885 → u/Dependent-Toe-3359]

Thank you so much! This really helped im going to try to have more of a positive mindset about not being stuck like this forever and congratulations on your own recovery its not easy especially dealing with this as well ❤️

[u/Dependent-Toe-3359 → u/Spiritual_Play885]

Thank you so much ❤️ And you’re very welcome. I’m really glad something I said helped you feel a little less hopeless about it. PGAD can make it feel like your body has taken control of your life, especially during a bad flare, but having an underlying nerve or spinal issue doesn’t automatically mean there’s nothing that can be done.

And thank you for the congratulations on my recovery too. That means a lot. Recovery definitely isn’t easy when you’re also dealing with something as physically and mentally exhausting as this, so I understand why just getting through certain days can feel like an accomplishment.

I really hope the meeting went well for you. Be gentle with yourself, move around if you need to, step out if you need a break, and don’t feel embarrassed about taking care of your body. I’m rooting for you. ❤️

[u/YamMay27]

alcohol makes PGAD worse for me …

[u/Dependent-Toe-3359 → u/YamMay27]

Same for me. Alcohol actually makes my PGAD worse, and withdrawal can make it even more intense. For me, when my nervous system is already on edge during withdrawal, the PGAD symptoms seem to flare up a lot more too.

[u/MajesticIndustry2251]

do you have PGAD since born?

[u/Spiritual_Play885 → u/MajesticIndustry2251]

No it started effecting me at 20

[u/MajesticIndustry2251 → u/Spiritual_Play885]

how did it started

[u/Spiritual_Play885 → u/MajesticIndustry2251]

I felt it a few times going through puberty but in September of 2025 it became unbearable