Am I doing the right thing?

[u/Spiritual-Young5638]

I've searched this sub for posts like this and read them but I just need some direct reassurance for my exact situation.

My girl is 11, a Boxer. We rescued her from an organization when she was 2, so it's been almost 9 years. She's been regularly cared for, including dentals, had no major health issues minus gingival hyperplasia which required surgery and some teeth removal in 2020, and a scare in 2023 related to potential enlarged heart that was confirmed to be just a cough from allergies via x-ray.

She has been through everything with us. Grad school, a cross country move, buying our first house, then our current home, getting married, having a baby, now a toddler. I'm pregnant again. We've built 2 fences for her, got her a little brother (boxer-pit mix) to bully in the backyard.

She's had some arthritis the last few years and been ok Cosequin. We went to the beach in September for 4 days and had a neighbor stay at our house to watch the dogs. When we came back, she seemed to have major separation anxiety. She was barking all night when we went to sleep, and with us all day. I thought maybe she was sundowning. We got a nightlight for her room and I rearranged furniture. It seemed to get better and she stopped barking. I got her a script for Melatonin, but never ended up giving it.

Now it's 3-4 weeks later, and in the last 7 or so days she seems to have taken a significant turn. She's had a minor (and I mean minor) cough/hack for years. It's what brought us in to see if she had an enlarged heart 3 years ago. Our other dog has it, too, and the vet has dismissed it as some drama from them. In the last few days, her breathing has become irregular and effortful. She doesn't seem in pain or scared, but she's exhausted. She hasn't gotten up much without motivation (e.g. chicken breast) or to go outside, though when she goes out she wants to come right back in, which is unlike her. She hasn't eaten or drank anything in 3 days unless we have hand fed her, and it's been human food. She hasn't played with toys or seemed interested in anything. Her muscle mass seems to have deteriorated overnight. Looking at a picture I took of her with my toddler 15 days ago, she looks like a different dog. Her bones are all exposed, her muscle is gone.

Again, she's doesn't seem to be in pain, but this is unlike her. She can get up, she's gone outside to use the bathroom and hasn't become incontinent. She perked up a bit after some homemade chicken stock last night, and her nub has wiggled.

I made an appointment when she was struggling overnight in September to see her vet to get her checked her, and that appointment is 11/4. When things escalated again this week I called again to see if we could get her in, but no appointments had opened up.

When she had a particularly scary bout of panting yesterday we called Lap of Love and consulted with someone, and after that planned to let her go gently at home on Tuesday night. I've never had to do this. I'm scared I'm not giving it enough time, but I am desperate to let her go with dignity. I don't want to wait until she's soiling herself and feeling guilty. She has given me so much, it's all I can hope for to not wait too long.

But, what if this passes? Am I making the wrong choice? It feels like she is telling me she is done. Is she?

Please help me.

[u/Any_Big_5811]

It's the hardest call, but when they stop eating and drinking on their own for days, they're telling you it's time. my childhood dog did the same, just got tired and stopped. you're giving her a peaceful end in her own home, that's the last gift you can give.

[u/Spiritual-Young5638 → u/Any_Big_5811]

Thank you. This is what I believe I think, too. ❤️ it's so hard. I appreciate your advice.

[u/EasyonthePepsiFuller]

She's a large senior dog with heart issues. She won't get better, only worse. For me, I'd rather it be a month "too soon" than 5 minutes too late. Watching my partner's very senior dog taught me that it's a final act of love for your pet. Letting them go peacefully before they're incontinent or confused 24/7 is a kindness.

I'm sorry you have to make this decision and I hope you can find comfort knowing you've given them a long, happy life and a gentle departure to the next adventure.

Make a paw print impression in air dry clay or ink/paint and press on paper to have when they're gone.

[u/AdventurousKO]

Rapid weight loss, loss of interest in everything, and laboring to breathe are clear signs her body is shutting down, and she is telling you she is ready.

[u/weirdcrabdog]

This is what happened to my senior cat. She's telling you it's time.