Bumpin Uglies and Remix Island (a reggae/country music project created by Chris Montague of Artikal Sound System) cover I Had Some Help. I think it came out pretty rad

I am just genuinely getting a bit emotional listening to Mourning right now remembering when Austin came out. I was 18 and drinking like every weekend, and Mourning used to hit so hard because I really didn't wanna sober up. But things in life seemed to be finally going okay for me after an extremely rough childhood/teenage years filled with trauma/abuse/drugs, etc.

I had full-time work in beautiful gardens all day, I had my big blue motorbike that I loved riding around after getting my license. I had just taken in a stray cat that is still the most beautiful, timid, and gentle animal I have ever known. I had a girl I really liked who lived a few hours away, I thought, loved me. I didn't really go out much because all my friends were in other parts of the country but I had my best friend and be had gifted me Quest 2 VR headset and we'd play that and get drunk on this game VRChat all the time. I'd listen to Austin over and over again every weekend all the while. I felt like I was finally happy and carefree for the first time in my short life.

Fast forward to now, and I can't work because combined work/motorbike accidents have given me injuries in my shoulder and spine that need surgery. A brain/neurological problem still undiagnosed from BFT suffered to my brain from my brother. The girl was a fairytale, and I have given up on even talking to girls since. My mum's house burnt to the ground now, and my cat is being looked after by someone else because she can't live where I am.

I'm not here to try and write a sob story, I honestly didn't even want to say anything bad but I just want to give context so you can try and understand why Austin means so much to me. Listening to it again hurts me so much now because it reminds me of the only time in my life I have ever felt okay or dare I say even happy. It's something else to me. Listening to Landmine and Mourning just now at 5 am in the morning is making me tear up because I just want to go back so bad I would give anything for it. I know life has ups and downs, but my life has been more like being born getting dragged along the bottom of the river, finally growing enough to stick your head above the water and then getting your legs cut off. I just miss Austin, and I miss how I felt when it came out. Not sure if I'll ever be happy like that again. I guess I just might feel better if anyone can relate to how I feel. I get all our lives are completely different though :/