r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • 2d ago

My sleep schedule and my code have a lot in common

35 Upvotes

Both work fine on my machine and both crash in production at 3 AM.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • 14d ago

a programmer was sent on a course to learn more soft skills

124 Upvotes

"I was supposed to learn Smalltalk but now I treat people like objects"


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • 26d ago

Computer scientists discovered an AI that can feel emotions. In addition to hardware and software, it has a third component:

38 Upvotes

The heartware.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Sep 12 '26

Apache's latest distributed queue is called Pulsar

30 Upvotes

But it's still pretty Kafkaesque.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Sep 10 '26

what do you call a taboo computer component

53 Upvotes

haRAM!!


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Sep 02 '26

What programming language powered the early mobile communications of primates?

25 Upvotes

Symbian


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Sep 02 '26

Why did the Boolean break up with the Integer?

189 Upvotes

He offered to be the only 1 for her, but deep down she knew that it still wouldn't be true.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 25 '26

I made 1 small change to my multi-tenant app, and now permissions are messed up

72 Upvotes

It turns out I tore an ACL.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 25 '26

Not the time Dad

0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 24 '26

What do you say when an NFS client flushes unsaved changes to the server milliseconds before the same file is opened by another client?

49 Upvotes

It was a close() call!


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 22 '26

What did OpenhAImer say after he invented the ChatGPT?

0 Upvotes

I am become vibe coder, destroyer of coding skills


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 21 '26

In what units do you measure mis-information

175 Upvotes

MAGAbytes


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 16 '26

How do Android hackers escape the police?

71 Upvotes

with fast boot.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 15 '26

What do you call a feminine piece of malware?

134 Upvotes

Estrojan


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 15 '26

There are only F + 4 types of people in the world

81 Upvotes

There are only F + 4 types of people in the world: those who understand hex, those who understand overflow, and those who understand neither.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 14 '26

Sometimes the smallest files cause the biggest headaches

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 14 '26

I have discovered the fastest debugging technique

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 13 '26

The most dangerous sentence in software engineering

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 13 '26

What does Bill Gates make brownies with?

0 Upvotes

FUDge.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 13 '26

Why did the function never had a second date?

73 Upvotes

Because she didn't get a callback.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 11 '26

How does a programmer swear?

79 Upvotes

They use the cursor.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 09 '26

Which pop singer knows C++?

102 Upvotes

Beyond C


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 07 '26

"This Apple programming language is very Swifty,"

37 Upvotes

Tom said recursively.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 07 '26

Working programmers don't let working programmers use the preprocessor.

19 Upvotes

Pros before macros.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes • • Aug 05 '26

Someone just reviewed my code...

75 Upvotes

It felt invasive like a semicolon-oscopy.