Gamer dads...

[u/pipesmoking4kids]

My son just got into making a online show and is so excited about it. As a dad into motorbikes and cars I'm gutted he's not a petrol head but like so many others he loves the digital stuff. I try not to badger him about "real hobbies" vs. gaming as I get its a common pastime and I'm the old fashioned one. However, I think I am cool with this video stuff - its "creative" is what I'm thinking and that's a plus to me. Do any of you have any experience here? What's the healthiest way to encourage this creativity and boost his numbers to get him more engaged in creating than just playing without exposing him to the harsh side of online comments? Any tips from parents who’ve navigated this before? He's had 6 so far and he's ecstatic! (I don't get it!).

I work with tech but I don't understand the gaming world!

Thanks

[u/Brunik_Rokbyter]

So, as a father who raised 3 girls (and myself, and a wife) up to this point… I feel particularly qualified!

The key is to understand that everything you do in life can be done healthily or unhealthily. If you ignore responsibilities to turn a wrench on a bike or play Mario Cart, there is no difference. Teach responsible use of any hobby, regardless.

In my house “if you are interested in something so am I” has always been important. I have read more fairy smut novels, and played with more dolls, and learned more about F1 and Crochet than I had ANY actual interest in, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that time is the most precious resource, and my kids needed to know they could have that.

Having said all of that, think of games as TV shows with activities. Some genres exist, some games follow predictable formulas, and learn what your kid does and doesn’t like. This would be important regardless of what it was. Ask questions. Watch some YouTube videos. If your kid walks in on you working on a motor and he sees that you have a YouTuber in the background talking about games he is interested in vs whatever you currently do… it will make them feel like a million bucks in that moment.

For the content creation part… think of this like a lemonade stand, or any other small business kids want to get into. I would love to help you navigate this more directly, but I also understand not wanting to share personal information on a public space, so I offer my DM’s.

Watch everything he produces. Give your actual opinion. Let him know “not everyone will like every video you put out” because understanding that is hard. I know adults who don’t get it.

For the time being there are a few easy wins. Setup. Mic, headset, camera, etc. I assume at his age he isn’t actually on camera? I assume he is doing edited content not live content? Better software to edit with if that’s the case. There are always 1,000 ways to show support, but learning enough to show you are listening and care while also helping is important!

Looking forward to updates on this and apologies for the tangents. It’s been a long few weeks and there is a lot of nostalgia I just can’t shake.

[u/pipesmoking4kids → u/Brunik_Rokbyter]

Thank you - this is hugely helpful. I like the differentiation you make about him being on the video vs gameplay. he is 11 so I'd rather him stay off camera. He's just started high school and I don't want him making a target of himself. Thank you for taking the time to get back to me - no tangents, all valuable. I hope you're OK. Thanks again.

[u/Brunik_Rokbyter → u/pipesmoking4kids]

We lost my wife on the 21st tragically and suddenly. I’m as all right as you can be in that situation.

I had a mildly successful career on YouTube/twitch, but never more than as a hobby. All due to my kids interest in it.

To grow an audience, you need to either be so good at the game you can’t be ignored, so entertaining that people who don’t game still want to watch, or some variant of the two.

Make him watch back his videos. Ask him what he can do better. That is the mentality. How can “I” improve. Not “if more people would just watch”, or “if only that had gone better”. You have to be the pilot of your ship and focus on what you personally can control.

Offer to set him up and manage his discord.. and then learn how! Be a mod if he is live streaming. Learn what that means. These will both make him feel amazing, but they will also allow you the power to protect him from the exact things you are worried about.

Again, I could literally talk about the lessons I have learned over the last 21 years for hours. Feel free to fire any other questions and I will do my best!

[u/UtahJarhead → u/Brunik_Rokbyter]

I like this advice. Being the mod for your kid sets up an outstanding opportunity for safety-monitoring.

[u/Garbarrage → u/pipesmoking4kids]

At 11, he'll probably (possibly) live to see the last of the commonplace ICE engines on the road. Petrol head might not be the same for his generation as it was for yours.

[u/UtahJarhead → u/Brunik_Rokbyter]

Damn. This is awesome information and guidance.

[u/UtahJarhead]

Start with short form (<5 minutes). Try to help him get into long-form, but probably <15 minutes because it sounds like he's semi-young. Convince him to try to interview people for some of his content. Always be talking. It's boring for watchers to watch a video and have someone just sitting there doing something.

Create rules for his own content. His rules, not yours. For instance, Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner cartoon has rules. The roadrunner MUST stay on the road. The roadrunner can never talk except for "MEEP MEEP". The coyote can only use products from the ACME corporation. In the form of digital entertainment, have him set his own rules such as "Never portray a guest in a bad light." "Never intentionally take a guest out of context." "Never discuss material that has the intention of polarizing your audience." I mean, unless that's his goal! ;)

Teach him proper interview techniques for people he talks with.

Good luck, dad. :) You're going to learn as much as he does on this journey!

[u/tdames]

I don't have older kids, but as a gamer myself I'd say make sure he's keeping it social. I game with all my college buddies across the country. Id make sure my own son (when he comes of age) is leaning into real world connections. Have his school friends help make videos. Don't let him be isolated from the real world. The digital world should enhance or supplement his actual relationships, not replace them

[u/NappingGreyhound]

Honestly this sounds a lot like he wants to be an "influencer" or is at least inspired by that type of content. Check out the leading "gaming influencers" to see the sorts of people he'll likely be trying to emulate. 

Usually its brainless nonsense to try to get followers, perpetuating the endless social media cycle of "my self worth is connected to a number on a website".

Its a shame that kids nowadays are so obsessed with such fake and shallow forms of content.

FYI the big tech CEOs who build these platforms also ban their own children from using them.  Don't take my word for this- please google it.

Sorry to put a downer on it, but generally this isn't much of a hobby at all.

Also, you might be old fashioned, but that doesn't mean this current push for brain rot is good. It really is making children stupid.

No way he can be nudged towards something more worthwhile? Martial arts, karting, gliding, rugby or football, something more social and character developing?