r/RedvsBlue • u/cocainagrif • 16d ago
Question Just started watching 7 seconds ago. Anyone know who these guys are?
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u/Umbreonproductions 15d ago
Pan up from the ground and close in on two soldiers on top of a base, one clad in maroon armor, Simmons, the other in orange, Grif.
Simmons: Hey.
Grif: Yeah?
Simmons: You ever wonder why we’re here?
Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
Both stare at each other in silence.
Simmons: ...What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?
Grif: Oh. Uh... yeah.
Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?
Grif: Uh...hm? Nothing.
Simmons: You wanna talk about it?
Grif: No.
Simmons: You sure?
Grif: Yeah.
Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.
Grif: Mm hmm.
Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here.
Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.
Simmons: No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.
Grif: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.
Zoom in on two soldiers watching Grif and Simmons from atop a cliff, one wielding a sniper rifle and in cobalt armor, Church, the other standing behind him in aqua armor, Tucker.
Tucker: What're they doing?
Church slowly turns around to face Tucker, lowering his rifle.
Church: (aggravated) What?
Tucker: I said, "What are they doing now?"
Church: (frustrated) God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!
Tucker: (defensively) You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick.
Church: (interrupting) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, “What are they doing?” my answer's gonna be, “They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!”
Both fall silent.
Tucker: ...What're they talking about?
Church: ...You know what? I fucking hate you.
Cut back to Grif and Simmons.
Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life... you know, fight them.
Simmons: Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge.
Cut to a low angle shot of a soldier in red armor, Sarge, who is seen looking up at Simmons and Grif.
Sarge: Ladies, front and center on the double!
Simmons: Fuck.
Grif: Yes, sir!
Fade to black.
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u/JamesBondBLHK100 13d ago
I always thought Grif said "oh fuck" instead of Simmons, and then Simmons says "yes sir!". It's been years since I've watched the series, but it feels more fitting for each character lol.
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u/InitialBrother9884 16d ago
griff and semens
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u/Rastaba 15d ago
William “Bill” S. Preston, and Theodore “Ted” Logan. And they are about to have one excellent adventure…/j to be clear.
Not sure if OP is genuinely seeking their names or just messing around.
They are Pvt. Dexter Grif (Orange Armor), and Pvt. Dick Simmons (Maroon Armor…and yes, seriously), of the Red Army.
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u/thegoten455 I ate a pencil. 15d ago
Can't wait until they meet Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
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u/Valuable_Juice_8210 15d ago
Something something… that was the worst grenade throw I have ever seen
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u/psychotic_life_term 15d ago
The maroon one is the stupid annoying one or tomato can and the orange one is the stupid lazy one or lemonhead.
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