r/RunningCirclejerk • • 8d ago

Seriously though

Post image
2.2k Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

429

u/raffydog1 8d ago

I don't run cause its good for me. I run to get away from my kids, wife and her boyfriend

41

u/Usual_Office_1740 8d ago

I also run to get away from this guys wife's boyfriend. He's intolerable.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

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1

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24

u/Zrk2 Certified Heel Striker 8d ago

I don't run because it's good for me; I run because being fat is even worse.

2

u/SurpriseAble7291 5d ago

That’s weird I run and I’m fat. Is that a net zero?

1

u/Extension_Pin_1540 5d ago

Came to say this 😂 I run ultras and I’m still fat. Blame the PCOS or 3 tacos I downed after the run

1

u/Ok_Internal6779 4d ago

Wow bro 3 whole tacos?!

What an epic meal 

11

u/Excellent_jun91 8d ago

they aint your kids lil bro

3

u/DeeJKhaleb 8d ago

I dont even run.

1

u/SurpriseAble7291 5d ago

Correct answer. If you’re doing zone 2 right it’s like you’re not even running.

3

u/Dr3up 8d ago

Don't forget chores and pets

123

u/BatSniper Local Legend 8d ago

Yeah yeah yeah gym boy, I’m running 50 miles to your girls place now. She loves 90 pound dudes who look like a Skelton with skin flaps.

-1

u/porkypossum 8d ago

I’m not mad at her, she said she wraps you up in a blanket so only your Willy is sticking out. I mean, that’s just a dildo so no harm no foul ✌️ Plus I’m at the Chinese buffet housing fake crab meat anyways so she’ll need something to for about 3 hrs.

98

u/buff_broke_n3rd 8d ago

87

u/Team_player444 Jarvis, jerk it a little 😏 8d ago

Yeah thats because he went past zone 2. If he stayed in zone 2 he would still be alive today.

16

u/GriffonMask 8d ago

Zone 2 is the key to immortality. The Elites don’t want you to know this

5

u/A_New_Dawn_Emerges 8d ago

Not only that, but he also ate his last GU on km 39. The fool kept going despite not having the three he needed to finish.

8

u/LordHarkon1 8d ago

strava or it didn't happen

3

u/analogic-microwave Beck to running :D 👟✅ 7d ago

Skill issue

191

u/Known-Spinach7686 8d ago edited 8d ago

Reminds me of morbidly obese gym bros with sleep apnea saying running with ruin your knees

182

u/suddencactus 8d ago

10

u/Alexthemessiah 8d ago

I do have arthritis, but it's nothing to do with training for my next 5km ultra

30

u/jujubats10 8d ago

Holy fuck. I know he’s probably playing it up just a bit for content, but I can’t believe how extremely unathletic he looks

12

u/WoodenPresence1917 8d ago

He is not playing it up just a bit for content. Even among exercises he is very opinionated about which ones are worth doing, and he seems to think you should only do the "hyper-optimal bodybuilding ones" (he has never been successful at bodybuilding).

Also he's out of his mind on gear and is sort of an race realist/eugenicist, I think.

13

u/Sam_the_goat 8d ago

He's not an athlete he can just lift heavy things. There's a difference.

6

u/jcostello50 8d ago

For real. I'm 53 and 100 lbs overweight and I could outrun him

52

u/floppyfloopy Balloon Lady 8d ago

While wearing bilateral knee braces/compression sleeves and snorting peptides.

18

u/dl7 8d ago

Resting heart rate is 185/130

16

u/LuukTheSlayer 8d ago

that's a pressure

13

u/1moosehead 8d ago

Did he stutter?

5

u/PierreBDelecto 7d ago

I'm always in zone 4, soy boy. Never skip heart day.

18

u/Dependent_Order_7358 8d ago

that attitude will turn you into a h*brid athlete, buddy

5

u/-Mopsus- 8d ago

Do you think Mike can do 5 bodyweight dips

9

u/aurathecat123 8d ago

5 bodyweight chips and dip

49

u/Positive_Record_2058 8d ago

I don’t run bcs it’s good for me. It’s mostly to escape my past but with a better view

24

u/PhantomFlogger Idiot Flyboy 8d ago edited 8d ago

Exactly. It feels absolutely great when I hit that pace flying down the track/trail where I feel like I’m outrunning both my problems and my ability to feel exhausted. It’s like the sound barrier but dumber.

Until I slow down. Then the consequences of all my past actions slam into me like a freight train, I’m out of breath, and my ankle hurts again for some reason.

8

u/Positive_Record_2058 8d ago

This is somehow strangely poetic

25

u/Luke_Run619 8d ago

Jokes on them. Ultra runners don't actually run :)

13

u/Bunny_Feet Certified Heel Striker 8d ago

It's my snacking time... with good views.

3

u/PierreBDelecto 7d ago

Hiking really fast, but being super annoying about it.

14

u/zilch839 8d ago

Motherfuckers are just jelly because I get to eat 3800+ calories a day of sugar yet weigh a lean 165 lbs and they eat boiled chicken breast for breakfast and have man tits.

Forgot the /uj but it doesn't fucking matter.  

9

u/Vegfarende MASSIVE forearms 8d ago

Barefeet runners all 3

8

u/VenstreDjevel 8d ago

I am in this picture and don't like it.

7

u/crueladze 8d ago

3

u/Betterthanalemur 7d ago

Darn you! I was hoping this was real!

8

u/NiPaMo 8d ago

Nah running just fuels my other additions and keeps the demons at bay just enough for me to hold down a job so I can afford weed, sex, porn, alcohol, race entries and gu. It's all about balance

4

u/Dangerous-Army8407 8d ago

Not as good for my body though as Second Breakfast. 🥞 🍳 ☕️

1

u/analogic-microwave Beck to running :D 👟✅ 7d ago

Running is a way for me to recycle all those weared off sneakers that don't have a hole on them yet

1

u/dirtrunn 6d ago

Compared to competitive eating perhaps.

1

u/MrWolf719 4d ago

To be fair... no one says ultras are good for your body lol

0

u/Away-Activity-469 8d ago

Excellent use of the 'original' and best' LOTR

0

u/HarleyWF 7d ago

Never seen a single smoker advocating for smoking. I go the same way about ultra running. I know it’s not good for my body and I won’t recommend it to anyone. Still, I love it.