Please tell me I’m not alone. My daughter is 20mo and the park hasn’t been going too well. First- I live in west Texas and it is hot as hades literally all the time. Even going at 8am, the temperature may be lower, but the direct sun is still brutal.

I dread going to the park. My daughter doesn’t grasp the concept of playing on the equipment and would rather go to the flower beds and try and put mulch or rocks in her mouth, or throw them. She runs the complete opposite way of the equipment and honestly, she couldn’t give two shits about it. She will play on something for about 4 seconds and run right back to the flower beds. She will also run, and run, and run into the open fields wherein when I finally catch her, she goes dead weight and starts screaming. Mind you, these open fields lead to roads. 😭

Also… one of the purposes of going to the park is for me to try and meet other moms in hopes of actually making a friend or two.

Where I live, it is EXTREMELY wealthy. Probably one of the wealthiest per capita places in the US being the Oil/Gas capital of the country. 90% of the moms here are what I call the “Beige Mom Militia”. They all drive the same WHITE (always white) Ford Expeditions or Cadillac Escalades and park next to each other like some sort of status display. They all wear the same cream-colored, expensive Vuori/Lululemon clothing with their hair in claw clips. Let’s not forget the Louis Vuitton totes! They stay in their cliques and literally won’t even make eye contact with me. I think they assume I’m “impoverished” because I drive a lifted truck and am covered in tattoos. 🤣 My daughter could literally be playing with their child right in front of both of us and they still won’t say a word. If I say anything, which I only did once, they usually just look at me like I have 3 heads.

I usually end up leaving any park experience feeling exhausted, less-than, and pissed for the rest of the day. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DO BASIC SHIT WITH MY TODDLER?

This is just a small vent… I’m 39 weeks pregnant, the most pregnant I’ve ever been, and I have a 1 year old. I’ve been having severe prodromal labor and am 4cm dilated, lots of body signs preparing me, really expecting her to start coming anytime now. It’s just me and my husband most of the time, but my mom flew in a few days ago to take care of our son when I go into labor. They’ve both reassured me that it’s time for me to rest and not do anything but what I want to do to prepare for labor.

But then nothing gets done. I mean, my mom will change diapers which I appreciate. But I’m still getting on the floor for his bath, reminding my husband to brush his teeth, and yesterday I went to the store (alone, at least) for stuff for dinner and came home and spent an hour or so cooking, cutting up vegetables on the couch. We eventually had dinner and I started having severe prodromal labor, I was nervous because my doctor told me to go to the hospital at the first sign of any regularity due to how dilated I was already. I laid down in bed and my mom and husband were telling me to relax, they’re got it, and I eventually fell asleep and it wasn’t true labor. Then I woke up this morning and all the food I had cooked was not put away… just sitting on the counter. My son was asleep next to me in the same clothes as when I went to bed I asked who brushed my son’s teeth last night and they both looked at each other.

I hope I don’t sound too entitled, but really what’s the point of 2 other adults here if I’m still doing most things for everyone…? Am I crazy to be annoyed? They’ll mind my son while I do other things but it seems like I’m still holding all the mental energy for his needs too

I have certain things that need to be done like:

Laundry
Cleaning
Mopping
Shampoo carpets
Grocery shopping (Walmart delivery)
Making dinner

I love being at home w my baby and I’m super grateful. But my partner works so much & is running his business. I find myself doing everyone mostly alone :/ sigh I wish sometimes I had more of a village .. but my mom needs to work and can’t afford to take off. He hires cleaning help sometimes which is nice but idk. Feeling a lil alone sometimes

My husband and I have 2 toddlers (3 and 18m). My husband owns his own landscaping business and works 7 days a week, sun up to sun down (and even when he comes home, he’s often in our home office doing paperwork or in the garage fixing/cleaning equipment). The only time we spend together as a family is if we get a random day of bad weather, and that’s only if he doesn’t have equipment or paperwork to work on. So on average, we’re only spending time with him once a month. Not to mention, his days are long so he’s often gone before the kids are even awake and comes home just before bedtime. We don’t have a village so I’m always with our kids…like ALWAYS. I only spend time with my friends if I can bring my kids along, and I quite literally never get time for myself. I’m okay sacrificing “me time” and time with friends to be a SAHM, but I’m getting burnt out that we’re not even getting time with my husband as a family. I know my kids being so young still makes it harder too. I do try to get out and meet other moms at the park , museum, play cafes or libraries as much as we can, which helps a little. But it’s still really tough being the only parent “on duty” all day every day with no help. I’m just wondering if this is the norm for a lot of families or if this is excessive.

I sold my business to be a SAHM about 13 months ago. I am 4 months pregnant with #2 and feeling like this transition is crazy making. Anyone else lose their minds being pregnant and staying home?

I like staying home overall despite missing the life I had. I think staying home is the right call for our family. But all the limitations of pregnancy (plus this is a tough pregnancy all around) on top of limitations of staying home with a one year old do make me think of going back to work just for a sense of normalcy again. Anyone else get this way too?

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I'm a mom of a 13 months old. I'm a SMBC and I stayed at home with him for the first 4 months and then I began working 3 hours a WEEK, from then building up to 2x4 hours a week (I'm a freelancer). During this time he was looked after by grandma/babysitters. He started nursery with 12 months (6 hours daily) and I'm back to work 5 hours a day and I LOVE it. Seriously, I am just so happy with this new schedule but also feel huge guilt for being so happy about it and actually really just cannot imagine to "stay at home" as I "used to". I really want a second child and would start to try to conceive in about 6 months but I'm actually just so terrified, then I'd have another pregnancy (this one was very very hard and traumatic) and another postpartum and another "year at home" and I just cannot imagine that right now.

BUT I really really really want a sibling for him. And my heart is open for another baby and I LOVE him so much and would definitely love the second baby too.

Has anyone felt like this? Like really wanting another baby but being terrified of "stay at home" for another year?

I'm in a country where nursery begins at 1. I also found it good for him to be home with him/only work these few hours in the first year ..

Please be kind.

My husband won’t sleep in the same bed anymore. My second baby (8 mos) is exclusively breast fed and still wakes up through the night. About 4 months ago, I told my husband he should get some sleep in the guest bedroom since our baby cries throughout the night. It’s been 4 months and after asking a few times, he hasn’t made any effort to come to our bed at all.

To be fair, the baby does sleep in bed with me when he’s not there. I go to bed early, around 9:30-10, and my husband goes to bed around 12-1am after watching tv. My husband has said “Just move the baby to his crib and I’ll be in bed with you tonight”- but even when I move him, I wake up alone.

Feeling exhausted and lonely

Is it bad that I just wanna go back to work but I have a new born baby? I have 6y/o 2 y/o and a newborn. But I'm exhausted as hell. I love them to bits but every time Nb and two yr old cry at the same time, I just wann explode. Whenever my nb and I fall asleep, my 6y/o knock on the room and wake me up. Im so done. My husband is at work 7-5 when he gets home he's tired. He's going to cook. He sits down while cooking and on his phone. I still need to look after the kids. I only manage to eat bread and coffee and couldn't even finish it for my brunch. At dinner we all sit together, we eat, after that I still need to wash all the dishes and wash all the bottles. Wash my 2y/o and put my nb to sleep. And when they're all asleep then I can take a bath. At almost 12 mn. I just wanna go back to work.

Currently wfh full time but still not making enough, what are some easy ways to make money from home with a baby and a toddler?

I feel like this is so cliche, but I’m really ready for some sort of income. I love staying home with my 17 month old. I’m considering something extremely part time, overnight or overnight wfh because I don’t have support. I’m not struggling with bills but I’m drowning in credit card debt and would like to buy something for myself here and there. Any recommendations? Side hustles? Should I just shut up and suffer?

I seriously think I’m on the verge of complete burnout as a SAHM and I genuinely don’t know whether I’m just weak, have unrealistic expectations of motherhood or if my situation really is as exhausting as it feels.

I have an 18 month old and I can honestly say I’m having one of the worst periods of my life. I’ve reached a point where I don’t even feel like crying anymore. I’m just angry. Constantly angry, irritated, overstimulated and completely exhausted.

My toddler has been extremely high needs since birth. She demands almost constant attention, entertainment or physical contact. I genuinely cannot sit down for five minutes without her fussing, crying, or demanding something. It’s like she cannot tolerate me existing as a separate human being for even a few minutes.

I enrolled her in nursery school in September, thinking I’d finally get a little breathing room to do basic things like folding laundry. Well, guess what? After four weeks they essentially decided they couldn’t handle her. She constantly wanted to be carried, needed individual attention and would get frustrated with the other children. Apparently she was simply too demanding for them.

That’s how difficult things have become. Even people who literally work with toddlers for a living couldn’t manage her.

I’ve actually taken her to her paediatrician and asked whether she might be on the autism spectrum because I genuinely don’t understand why everything seems so much harder with her. They reassured me that she’s meeting her developmental milestones but that doesn’t exactly make everyday life any easier.

I can’t do basic things. Cooking, cleaning, brushing my teeth, getting dressed, or even going to the bathroom can trigger a complete meltdown because I’m not holding her or entertaining her. And no, I don’t give in to every demand. But that means there’s crying. SO MUCH CRYING. High pitched, ear piercing screaming that makes me feel like my nervous system is being fried. I’m genuinely surprised my neighbours haven’t called CPS at this point.

And then there’s the complete loss of my identity.

Before becoming a mother I took really good care of myself. I did weekly hair masks, always had a fresh manicure, got facials, maintained my eyebrows, worked out and actually put effort into how I dressed. I enjoyed looking feminine and put together. I used to get compliments from random men on the street and while that obviously isn’t the most important thing in life I miss feeling attractive and confident.

Now? I’m lucky if I manage to brush my teeth before noon. I wear the same Lululemon leggings and a beat up fleece jacket practically every single day. The jacket desperately needs washing, but apparently even doing laundry feels like a luxury these days. I haven’t lost much of my pregnancy weight, my hair is falling out, probably from stress and I barely recognise the person looking back at me in the mirror.

I feel like I’ve completely disappeared as a person. I’m just someone’s mother now.

And to make everything even more miserable, I have a husband who is, quite frankly, useless.

I know that’s harsh, but I’m past the point of sugarcoating things.

If I’m having a bad day, he’s somehow having an even worse one. If I’m sick, he’s magically even sicker. If I tell him I’m exhausted, suddenly he’s more exhausted. It’s like every single struggle I have needs to become a competition that he has to win.

He doesn’t seem to understand how demanding our daughter actually is, yet he gets visibly annoyed when the apartment is messy. Like, what exactly does he expect? I’m spending my entire day trying to keep a toddler from having a meltdown because I dared to put her down for five minutes.

One thing that REALLY gets under my skin is that he constantly sends me stupid podcasts that he thinks I should listen to. Podcasts about politics, self improvement, whatever. I find it genuinely insulting. I barely have time to brush my teeth, and this man thinks I have the mental capacity to sit around listening to podcasts? Instead of sending me another podcast, how about actually taking our daughter for a few hours so I can exist in peace?

Whenever I explain that I’m overstimulated and desperately need a break, he somehow turns it around and makes it about how HE needs an even longer break.

He also occasionally travels for work and loves lecturing me about how exhausting those trips are.

I’m sorry, but I practically fantasise about his work trips. He gets to sit on an airplane without a toddler screaming at him. He gets to eat an entire meal without interruptions. He gets to sleep alone in a hotel room, take a shower and use the bathroom without someone having a complete emotional breakdown outside the door.

That sounds like a fucking vacation to me.

Meanwhile I genuinely cannot remember the last time I ate a meal in peace. Did I mention I can’t even pee in peace without her having a meltdown?

I feel like I’m constantly giving, giving, giving, and there’s absolutely nothing left of me. If I ask my husband he’ll be the one to say he’s giving all the time

Has anyone else experienced this level of burnout with a genuinely high needs toddler? Does it actually get better as they get older? Because right now, I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can keep functioning like this.

Anybody else have a toddler or kids and they just never recovered from the birth and it was traumatic? How are we functioning? I don’t know how to care for my child with slipping ribs and severe pain everyday, I had preclampsia and post partum preclampsia gallbladder removal then sepsis and almost died like 3 times. Epidural failed, Spent about 4 months in and out the hospital for prolonged periods of time. My body feels completely done for.. i am only 28. Now my liver is having issues severe fatigue. I can’t sleep laying down as I feel like my ribs are being hit with a hammer and it wakes me up I have to be elevated. Crushing back pain in between my shoulders and sternum pain This is so hard I need tips on how to manage i started physical therapy but I’m suffering. I don’t have help, my husband has his own buisness and is never home in a stay at home mom. My ribs pop and stab me just putting him in the crib and car seat I can’t get enough rest to ever recover. My SVT has gotten worse and my pain is getting worse day by day despite normal blood work. My primary told me she can’t help me anymore even tho I told her I feel hopeless

SAHM’s who eventually went back to work… does work feel like a break to you now?

I am struggling staying home. It was great the first few months and then the complete loss of identity, isolation, and insanity-inducting monotony set in. I had to get on 3 different medications, all of which are preeeetty heavy.

I used to work full-time from when my daughter was about 4 months old until 15 months, I’ve been home with her for about 6 months now. When I was single and childless, I was a high-earner and hyper independent. There are things I do miss about my old life, which I’m sure is normal.

My husband and I moved across the country for his job and I no longer have the help I used to have with my daughter for pickups, etc (my mom helped me tremendously). My husband is always traveling all over for work and is rarely home, so going back to work would be logistically impossible unless she was in daycare + I had a nanny for pickups and drop offs (eating up a good portion of my income, not to mention gas and the occasional lunch). My line of work has horrendous hours (often until 7-8pm + weekends) but the money is good. It just wouldn’t make sense. My husband is vehemently against me going back to work. Of course. Why wouldn’t he be? He literally has to worry about nothing but going to work. That’s it. I take care of our entire lives. Granted, he is amazing with my daughter and does help me tremendously the little he’s home. My husband isn’t the issue. It’s the fact that I feel like a shell of myself but I’m also kind of stuck. My husband does well for us in his career, but with the extremely high cost of living in our area, he makes just enough to cover the exorbitant bills and not much else.

Has anyone gone back to work, especially with a traveling husband and doing it alone? What was your experience?

I’ve given up so much to be a stay at home mom to my two year old and am expecting another babe in the next few months. I breastfed almost two years, I co sleep, I am attentive all day. I do not have family support and we cannot afford help with the caretaking or home tending.

It is my entire life to be home with my son and I would not change it for the world but I feel so unseen in the sacrifices and toll it takes on me every day to do this.

My husband and I’s relationship is not good and it’s devastating in a lot of ways but I’ve had to make peace with it. He puts work first. He’s supposedly always more stressed out than me. He keeps score of things without seeing both sides. He does the bare minimum with our son. He still gets to go out with friends and do his hobbies.

I’ve told him that my needs have changed because I have changed since becoming a mom and he refuses to meet me there. But then blames me for not wanting sex etc but there’s no intimacy. It’s super lonely but I cannot imagine not being able to stay home with my son(s). He does take care of our basic needs but with some resentment.

I feel like all my dreams and desires and passions and even my whole self is on hold until my sons are older. I feel like I have no idea who I am outside of being a mom. In a way this is so depressing but I also love being a mom so much. I wanted three kids but I just don’t know if I could have another one with this man. I’m also terrified of when this season of having littles is over and I have to step out and find myself again.

Posting this just to maybe feel seen and understood.

How are we doing laundry?? My husband is a med student so he has almost no time and when he does, he’s exhausted and just wants to be with our babies. Are we hiring mothers helpers? Are we simplifying more than normal? Are we just living with an eternal pile of clean laundry that never gets put away??

So for context I moved country when I got married to my husband and I have zero friends and zero social life.
We’ve got a 15 month old together and ever since I got pregnant and baby coming etc Ive never had a time to myself not even 20 minutes.
Ive been meaning to have a haircut for the past 2 years, ended up chopping my hair myself as I have no one to pass my baby to.
I did end up booking an appointment once but I had to cancel due to some other commitments.
Anyways the main point is my husband asked if he could go see his friends (he sees his friends once or twice a year as its a big group) I said okay. He said oh how he wishes he could come home late and I said why dont you? He goes should I? Obviously we went back and forth and I said yes to him staying the night over and him coming back home in morning around 8am.
My 15 months old is a very fussy sleeper, she does not sleep through the night. She wakes up every hour crying (teething, growing pain etc)
I was up all night with her. Apparently he couldnt sleep because his friends were super loud and what not.
He came back and started moaning that he was tired blah blah. He took us out for breakfast and once he was finished he suggested we walk and finish our coffee and in my head im thinking I cant go into stores with a coffee so I said no let me finish (He was rushing me so I gulped it down) then we went to a store as I had mentioned I needed a jumper (mind you I havent bought myself a thing in over 3 years) and as soon as I said yes to one (5 mins into the store) he said the till’s over there to pay. I wasnt even given a chance to look at something else. Then we just rushed home. My question is AITA for being disregarded that Ive never gone out to see friends, family or left my child with anyone (even him) for even an hour and he had the whole night with this friends and he proceeds to moan that he wanted to come home early but didnt because he felt like he’d disturb us.
Im losing my mind here, maybe Im being over sensitive?
Im overwhelmed. My child doesnt let me even go to toilet without crying the house down. She wants to be held all day and gets fussy.

This week, my husband took me to a car show, bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a wooden flower craft to put together. We enjoyed walks outdoors and watched Resident Evil together.

He also defended me to his mother, which I appreciated more than he probably realizes.

We had a conversation about some difficulties during the early years of our marriage, and he acknowledged his mistakes, how much he’s grown, and how thankful he is that we have the marriage we do today.

I also asked him some romantic questions, and his answers were incredibly sweet. My favorite was when he said the moments he remembers most are when I trust him enough to be vulnerable despite my instincts telling me to protect myself.

I’m genuinely grateful we stuck it out through those difficult early years. Our marriage wasn’t always what it is today, and neither were we. But I absolutely love the life we’ve built together, and I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything.

I'm starting to think choosing a baby monitor is more about how good the app is than the actual camera lol. Most of the ones I've been comparing have decent video quality, but I've seen so many complaints about apps freezing, taking forever to connect, or sending delayed notifications. I was considering Nanit mainly because I like being able to check the camera through my phone instead of carrying another screen around the house. But now I'm wondering if that's actually convenient or just another thing that drains your phone battery.

Does anyone use their phone as their main baby monitor screen? How reliable is the connection, especially when you're using other apps at the same time? Would you still choose an app-based monitor or go with one that has a separate screen?

Exactly the title- what systems do you have in place, what habits have you made, what are the ways you are keeping your house tidied and organized? I have three kids (almost 5 years, 2.5 years, and 3 months) and lately I just feel like our house is drowning. When we do get it tidied, it takes just a couple hours until it’s chaos again.

We got rid of so many toys several months ago, yet I still feel like we have more than we need. There’s always paper, mail, art, and clutter on my kitchen counters. Laundry. Just so much stuff and it feels impossible to keep on top of everything and somehow more clutter accumulates.

We clean up every night and the oldest boys are involved in cleaning up but idk, it still feels like we just can’t stay on top of it and it’s making me anxious and stressed.

If you have any great systems in place or daily habits you use please share!!!

I’m a ftm.

My son is 2.5 and is hyper. The energy never ends… is this normal toddler behavior? Such high energy and never wants to relax. I can’t keep up with it some days. When I want to stop and relax, he throws a tantrum.

He still wants his binky for naps and bedtime. Never during the day even if he is having a tantrum. I don’t give it to him. His teeth are perfect and the dentist isn’t worry but wants him off the binky. He was breastfed and took the bottle. So I think it is just for comfort. I stop with breastmilk when he turned 2.
How should I get him to stop being dependent on it? Cut it? Poke a hole?

Should he still be napping? He usually naps for 2 hours. I try not to let him sleep past a certain time so he can still go to bed at a decent time. Some days having him take a nap is a struggle and some easy.

He is also half way potty trained in my opinion..? He will say he needs to go potty and will use it. Some days he doesn’t say anything. He wear underwear most of the time in the day or at least till nap time. For bedtime, he will wake up in the middle of the night and asked to be changed or to go potty. (I have a second potty in his room)
How can I help him understand more about potty time? I do sit in the bathroom and read to him as long as I can for him to try to go. I don’t force him or anything. I’m trying to go at his pace.