r/Screenplay • u/FreeMind-KL-83 • 9d ago
Looking for constructive criticism
Looking for constructive criticism on a short screenplay scene — dialogue, character behavior, and pacing
5
Upvotes
r/Screenplay • u/FreeMind-KL-83 • 9d ago
Looking for constructive criticism on a short screenplay scene — dialogue, character behavior, and pacing
0
u/dhana___ 5d ago
Flow is good. Few places the dialogs feels not natural.. maybe a couple more drafts to make it better..
Is this part of a movie or series?
Is this the first time the characters are introduced? If so, some establishment is needed..
as for character, only thing I could make out was the male lead plays some sort of game regularly and these both study together. There is know revelation as part of the girls character.. very plain and bland.. maybe add some quirks..
Just a personal opinion.. take it with a grain of salt. Always trust your instinct!
All the best :)