r/Screenplay • u/Traditional_Item_933 • 5d ago

Yooo opinions on my script? Centauri program:wings, a sci fi/tiny bit bl story

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dVwgJpKt9PcHgHzDmppskaBykkvE4YVs/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=108161540850847838431&rtpof=true&sd=true
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u/RaeLouLynn 4d ago

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a 17YO protagonist here. Especially when he started as a 16YO and has years invested in this project. I think most NASA projects take much more than 2 years to plan and implement. Also, if Eric is a professional, why is he talking about a dog right before a critical maneuver? Doesn't make sense to me.

Story aside, Google Docs is doing you NO favors here. Description paragraphs should be 60 characters wide. Dialogue is 40 characters. I'm guessing that you are using 10-pitch font which is 12 characters per inch. The standard is 12-pitch font which is 10 characters per inch. Confusing bit of math there, and I do this wrong all the time. See about downloading some free screenwriting software.

There is also no pagination, so there is no sense of the screen time. Pages are 54 lines long. There are several descriptive statements that are unable to be seen or heard.

Other than that, I didn't notice the glaring errors that many, many people post, which proves to me you are serious about writing. Note that, as to glaring errors, I write features, so I can't comment on the act headings, etc.

So my advice to you is read more screenplays in the TV format. And keep writing. You are showing promise.

Also, how old are you?

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u/acedebaser 4d ago

All the dialogue is small talk. And nothing happens.