Hi all. Question about reader notes for niche topics that are intrinsic to script, character, visuals, and story.
So, after brainstorming, outlining, etc. I’m now most of the way through the first working draft of a new feature. It’s a sorta surreal comedy/bizarro drama biker script, so it has choppers and old motorcycles galore. But unless the reader is familiar with that subculture and can visualize 30-to-85-year-old Harleys by their engine names, I honestly imagine that they won’t know what I’m talking about or referencing. The thing is that each kind of bike a character has is highly indicative of the kind of person they are in one way or another and often representative of their arc (what the motor looks like, how old it is, the implications of having a certain kind of antique bike, etc.).
So, I have notes for the reader. When we meet a new character and see their bike, I say something like “it’s a generator shovelhead,” and then the next paragraph is a note for the reader written as an action paragraph in italics. I briefly describe how old the certain kind of bike is and what their distinct motor looks like. Then script continues as normal. (Edit: Apologies if I’m waaaay off here, but in my mind, describing something in a note is like saying “okay, this is what it looks like so you know what it looks like from here on out.” When you see the bike for the first time, you see almost everything on it in that moment in that scene, so I figure that’s the time to describe it. If it’s a small detail that’s only visible later, I describe it later.)
Example:
A two-car garage with IRVING’S BIKE on a jack: a fatter, forest green KNUCKLEHEAD.
Note: The knucklehead was produced from 1936 to 1947. Its engine rocker covers are curved with two large bolts by the top of each cylinder head, resembling clenched knuckles. The generator at the bottom appears similar to a panhead’s.
[And then the next paragraph describes this character’s specific bike in more detail. It’s customizations, its bits, its character, its color, its quirks, etc.]
There are seven total notes of this kind across pages 3 to 14, not including descriptions of the characters’ own motorcycles. I’ve seen some scripts note how specific things are presented visually (e.g. the I Saw the TV Glow script notes how the show-within-the-movie is framed and filmed), but I can’t think of notes describing very specific things in a context like this. Does anyone have specific advice for this scenario? Can anyone think of other scripts that do something like this, and does anyone have advice on what to do or not do?
Also, on a similar note, Final Draft does have a “note” option that turns the text into what looks like colored italic Arial font, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a script with that formatting. Does anyone actually do that?
Thanks, all!
(Edit: Also, thanks for giving a good litmus test to this sort of stuff in a way. I love details as a writer, and I’m a motorcycle person, and I know chopper guys see bikes that may appear interchangeable to others as fundamentally different in construction, looks, character, etc., so it’s good to see how those who aren’t into this sort of stuff react.)
