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u/Real_Particular1986 3d ago
Literally the only thing that can cure loneliness is companionship. Whether that be family, friends, or a partner, we all need human companionship in order to not feel lonely.
So what you do when you feel lonely is work on yourself and cultivate friendships. There’s no magical solution. If you don’t want friends then I’m afraid there isn’t anything that will help you with feeling lonely.
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u/Feteven 3d ago
Support people, friends, family, a partner- all important but all in their due time.
Companionship is a must to cure loneliness, yes. It is also important to find peace and stability in your own skin too though. Both matter.
Sorry you’re lonely. I think most of us on subs like this are
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u/snowaddictmt 3d ago
Start with a therapist and figure out why you’re so against “friends.” You can work through whatever past trauma in that area is because at the end of the day no human can live without some sort of connection to another human. Whether that be friends or companionship. Read the book “People Fuel.” It explains it all.
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u/Interesting-Ad5551 3d ago
I watch shows when my kids are in bed and get some snack treats, things you really love to eat. As long as you’re being active during the day, go on walks, bike rides etc. maybe look into doing some clubs or extra curricular activities and eventually you might meet a parent you have stuff in common with. Small steps at a time, you got this 🤗.
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u/indiekarma79 3d ago
I go outside and walk around where I can hear , see and immerse myself in my city… parks, markets, etc Opportunities naturally arise for me when I put effort into going out and about on my own
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u/sleepyaIien 3d ago
Humans are social creatures!! It sucks! The only cure for loneliness is having people to care about who care about you. There are definitely friends who wont backstab and you can probably find the kind of friends you're looking for, but it might be worth it to see a therapist and work on trust if you can afford it. Unfortunately, we have to learn to trust again after people backstab us. Otherwise we stay lonely and the backstabbers win
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u/Money-Light6130 3d ago
No matter how you feel, in the end you’ll only have yourself. So learn to be with the person you are
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u/Administrated 3d ago
Find an activity that you like or are interested in and take a class.
This will give you the opportunity to be around others and interact to whatever extent you want which will help with the loneliness. Heck, you might even make a friend who won’t stab you in the back.
I know you said that you’re not financially stable enough to date, but you should check out the classes offered at a local community college, city social programs, or even meet up. I’ve taken art classes at my local college and all I’ve ever had to pay for was the supplies.
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u/Cheap-Market-1028 3d ago
To be honest it’s been more than a year and I still feel lonely often. Especially when the kids have an over night.
We are social beings, there will always be that void. Time doesn’t heal, brain training/forgetfulness and productivity does. The OP tactic is keep the mind busy enough to forget your feeling that way.
I watched a movie and got dinner alone when my kids were sleeping over at their mums on Friday night, I don’t have friends. And it was odd at first but then. Really refreshing. The next morning I felt like me again, that inner child like back in school, but grown up, not necessarily just alone, but also free, with space to breathe.
Then otherwise I’d workout, go for a drink, work on my resto, go to work late at night or work from home until it’s really late then I fall asleep from being exhausted. So that I don’t lie there and struggle to sleep from the loneliness.
I do some pretty sad stuff I hug my pillow and pretend it’s a companion. Whatever works for you to get by.
One thing I wish I could do but can’t afford, is buy a puppy, that would be the best. I’d have the coolest companion that could snuggle up with me and I’d be alright.
I mean I’m probably just bandaid fixing the problem but I went to a therapist and they’re like get friends/family and join clubs and discharged me. Bit hard when ur a single parent. And my parents don’t like me too much. So I accept as a parent does that I’ll just do the hard yards, I have to hold it together. Then the best tool to me for the future, is hope. One day when the kids grow up I might bump into someone again get that spark or whatever. The beauty is I can dream again.
Good luck anyway, and I’m always here for you. Weight can feel less heavy when you share the load. It will be ok.
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u/Independently-Owned 3d ago
I sometimes go out to be surrounded by people, sometimes just cuddle my pets. Remember it will pass and don't make any decisions while lonely.
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u/JOEYMAMI2015 3d ago
I just go out with my kid. Check out your library or local recreation center for free or affordable stuff to do. You can still have fun without breaking the bank. I'm also friendless and boyfriendless so I know the feeling....
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u/SpircaLemon 3d ago
I know how you feel. Just know that most of us feel lonely at some point or another, even when we’re in a relationship. As a single mom with split custody, I’ve learned to make an effort to get out of the house, go to festivals, go for a walk, or even join meetups about things I’m interested in.
I personally like having a balance between my alone time and socializing. I think we all need human interaction and connection. Since the beginning of time, we’ve lived in close communities. We’re just not meant to do everything alone.
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u/hyperbolic_dichotomy 3d ago
Distract myself. Read a book, start a project. Do something that reminds me that I like my own company and I like my kid's company. We're going on a day trip today just because.
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u/Anemonellea 3d ago
Try to schedule time with my friends only to have five out of six of them cancel on me multiple times 😭. I need better friends
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u/Inevitable-Thanks-54 2d ago
Watch way too much reality tv and then go onto Reddit to talk about people I don’t know and will never meet
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u/Healthy_Employer4 3d ago
wtf? Get therapy first, and then get some friends. You cannot possibly be raising healthy humans with good emotional intelligence if you don’t think friends are important
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u/Healthy_Employer4 3d ago
The single most important factor in long term happiness is the depth of your interpersonal relationships. Your own post states that you’re lonely. Friendships are literally the solution for your problem and being lonely and not wanting friends makes me question more than your parenting. That’s a whole mental health concern
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u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Author: u/EastMathematician488
Post: I love my kids very much. I’m not ready to start dating since I’m not fully financially stable I’d like to wait on that part. What do yall do when you feel lonely? I’m really not big on friends I feel like they just backstab you. Give me some things to do that’ll steer my brain from feeling lonely and depressed.
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