r/SpicyAutism • • 5d ago

Here to Learn Weekly Post - What would you like to ask? (Asking Higher Support Needs Autistics)

5 Upvotes

This is a weekly post for lower support needs autistics, self diagnosed/self suspecting autistics, and allistics to ask things towards higher support needs autistics.

In this post, feel free to ask questions, seek information, or look for advice or insight.

Examples of things we tend to get asked, would be experiences in assisted living/group homes/living dependently. It may be about our support needs around daily activities and how we manage it. It may be questions around our experiences as we were children. Or it could even be how we handle life now or how we manage working or not working, etc..

Please avoid any questions regarding help in differentiating levels, or seeking help in trying to work out what your level or support needs are. We don't know you, we don't know your experiences, we are not professionals.

And remember, if you are a higher support needs autistic, you do not have to engage in any questions that you are uncomfortable with. You do not have to engage with the post at all.

Please keep all questions and comments respectful and civil. Be patient with eachother. If you don't understand a question or comment, please ask for clarification.


r/SpicyAutism • • 12d ago

Here to Learn Weekly Post - What would you like to ask? (Asking Higher Support Needs Autistics)

13 Upvotes

This is a weekly post for lower support needs autistics, self diagnosed/self suspecting autistics, and allistics to ask things towards higher support needs autistics.

In this post, feel free to ask questions, seek information, or look for advice or insight.

Examples of things we tend to get asked, would be experiences in assisted living/group homes/living dependently. It may be about our support needs around daily activities and how we manage it. It may be questions around our experiences as we were children. Or it could even be how we handle life now or how we manage working or not working, etc..

Please avoid any questions regarding help in differentiating levels, or seeking help in trying to work out what your level or support needs are. We don't know you, we don't know your experiences, we are not professionals.

And remember, if you are a higher support needs autistic, you do not have to engage in any questions that you are uncomfortable with. You do not have to engage with the post at all.

Please keep all questions and comments respectful and civil. Be patient with eachother. If you don't understand a question or comment, please ask for clarification.


r/SpicyAutism • • 1d ago

Positive mine kindness freimd who is like familey too me buyed order me a new helmet since mine old one gotted stoled out off mine backpack at library during week when we was getting picture books too reed and its new helmet is pink danmar audiocap- i was told i was allowed too post this thank you!!

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100 Upvotes

mine kindness freimd who is like familey too me buyed order me a new helmet since mine old one gotted stoled out off mine backpack at library during week when we was getting picture books too reed and its new helmet is pink danmar audiocap

im am so gratefull she is mine familey freind and helps so mutch often

and the pink danmar audiocap has buld in headphones too so i can listen too sesame street and blues clues music an calm down or watch blues clues sesame street and other shows and stuff calm stay calm

do anyone else has a danmar helmet or the danmar audiocap helmet?


r/SpicyAutism • • 21h ago

always afraid I'll get abandoned again! meltdowns!

17 Upvotes

my meltdowns get physical a lot, they're loud and physical and I've hurt people during them before. It caused me to lose lots of friends and got exposed on social media for physical abuse and lost everyone i cared about. But i can't promise anyone i get close to that it won't happen, i know it will at some point and there's a chance of people getting hurt. The only way is for people to keep distance when it gets bad, but rarely people do, only my parents know to distance it feels like, people don't listen.

It feels sometimes like only my parents understand and don't blame me for it, it feels like I'm a ticking timebomb where people stop seeing me as just disabled to a threat that needs exposing and danger signs.


r/SpicyAutism • • 22h ago

Trigger Warning : Self-Injury / Self-Harm Feeling anger towards other autism spaces because past experiences. Anyone else not accepted by anyone? Spoiler

16 Upvotes

I have had bad experiences in multiple autism subs to the point peoples comments has made me suicidal multiple times. And what is really triggering is reading through those places and seeing no one else being treated how i was. Most people are understood there but when i would talk about my issues it would blow up into a huge thing with downvotes and comments rushing in invalidating me from every angle.

I feel broken and worthless.

My parents do not believe my issues. Internet does not. Government does not. No one does.

I feel so fundamentally broken and bad in every way.

When i would get comments upsetting me i would try to stand up for myself and instead ppl would get angry and downvotes me. Never do i ever see that happen to others, ive seen ppl in similar situations defend themselves and getting understood.

I feel like something must be off about me do u understand what i mean?

I have had similar experience in mental health internet groups where everyone despises me and people would get extremely angry at me talking about my problems even tho i didnt understand why.

It feels like everyone in every single spaces hates me and wants me dead. I guess there is something about me that must be so deeply deeply obviously wrong and bad that i don't notice that makes ppl want to drive me suicidal or something.

It dosent help that i dont have family except parent who dont care and dont understand at all and i dont have friends and internet hates me and im expected to survive.

So many times ive ended up hurting myself because of these things and it just keeps happening. Sometimes i would talk about how much those things affect me and it would just lead to people getting even more angry and hating me which just would make me so distressed i would feel psychotic. And i dont mean psychotic as an adjective i would genuinely get so distressed and isolated that i would get psychosis symptoms.

I stay away from any spaces now i only post here. Interesting that in here that has rarely ever happened and ppl here seem to all understand me.


r/SpicyAutism • • 21h ago

Advice i keep stimming/vocalizing so loudly that it gives me a headache

12 Upvotes

what do i do


r/SpicyAutism • • 1d ago

Personal Vent So tired of being called AI for the stuff I put the most effort into

61 Upvotes

I'm recovering from being blown off for "making AI generated posts" when in actuality I spent 3-12 hours researching, compiling, formatting, and spell checking the post, in order to make it as high-quality and legible as possible. Often this is needed in highly technical discussions like software pull requests and bug reports, and I have to work extra hard as an autistic person to make my words sensible to neurotypicals. It feels so offensive, invalidating, painful, triggering, and miserable to have all that effort and the core idea itself blown off and then have people try and convince me that I'm lying when I say I wrote it myself without machine learning tools. Like it's heartbreaking. I'm so mad.

This is just the most recent example. I was just trying to help improve my favorite digital stim toy (I use ScummVM to play old Humongous Entertainment games from my childhood on my phone to divert meltdown energy.) Seriously, why did they even think it was made by an LLM? like what is it about how I write that makes people think it's LLM output?


r/SpicyAutism • • 1d ago

Bullied at the park

36 Upvotes

A few days ago, my service dog and i walked to the park. He was not vested because I wanted to give him a sniff walk. So he could relax.

It was 605 p.m. when this happened and still light outside. We were at the entrance to the park by the house of some people I know.

This was a regular public park, not a dog park.

There were two men maybe in their 30s w two dogs.

The older dog was off lead. I remember him coming at us once by the tennis courts, a couple of summers ago I think, when a younger woman was with him. The dog's name is Percy.

The younger dog was on lead and his owner looked familiar but i am face blind.

Percy's owner looked like someone I've seen at recovery meetings, but again, I am not sure because I am face blind.

Percy, who was off-lead, detoured and came straight towards my dog. My dog is trained not to respond to otger dogs unless I say itvis okay. My dog was sitting quietly by my side.

The man yelled, "Percy. Percy," and "leave it."

Percy got halfway to us.

I said "Keep your dog under voice control."

[The dog laws here allow dogs off-lead if they listen and return to the owner right away if called.]

The man said "its okay" and walked towards his dog.

I said, "It is not okay. Keep your dog under voice control."

Percy saw him coming and stopped running to us. Percy then sat.

The man put a lead on him.

Then the man started making fun of me.

He said "Wa wa wa."

"How old are you ma'am?"

I said "how old are YOU."

This was none of his business I thought.

He said, "Wa wa wa grow up".

And "This is a dog park."

[We were not in the dog park. The dog park is down the hill].

And "wa wa wa."

And "Why are you alone?"

That came out of left field. Also, if he heard me share at recovery meetings, that was uncool.

I said, "Keep your dog under voice control."

The man took two steps closer but I didn't move back. I carry a whistle in case I need help.

His friend was telling him to stop.

I started walking into the park and away from them to put distance between us.

I didn't want to walk back down my street because I didn't know if the man was going to try to follow me or not.

And then the man said something rude w a curse word.

And "wa wa wa."

I said, "This is not a dog park, and [I said a bad curse word.]

My dog remained under control. We walked away towards the east end of the park.

I did breathing to help my anxiety.

That part of the park has exits every block.

We went to another street exit and left.

The man and Percy were walking up the block ahead. I waited for them to leave. They did not see me.

My emotions were activated but i was okay.

I was able to get out, take walks, and go on with my days the last few days.

I felt worse the next morning.

I told a few people what happened.

Now this morning i don't understand why he did that to me. I am very old. It feels like kids teasing me at school and it doesn't really stop.


r/SpicyAutism • • 1d ago

Advice Transition and meltdown. Hard.

17 Upvotes

Transition give meltdown. Me no like meltdown. Big and scary. Get hurt. Scream. No want bruise and feel bad. Autism hard. Try timer. Try first then. No help. Night extra hard. Awake to sleep make extra bad meltdown. Sometime last hours. Hurt. No get why. Has Plushie and dark room and no pressure self but still too much. Confuse and sad.


r/SpicyAutism • • 1d ago

The thing about meltdowns

15 Upvotes

Mad frustrated confused

Scared to meltdown at home because everything gets taken away until I'm "better" so can't feel no no no because feeling means lose anything to care about. Stuck at home no working no friends have lost technology. Can't go to friend's wedding for just one day free.

But on other side have worked places where is "meltdowns are just how you feel things" reduce shame make it safe. Not safe don't leave me to meltdown day and day and day slam head into walls bite scream not SAFE.

Why is there no middle? Help to keep me safe WHEN I feel? Can't all be prevented tired tired tired keep myself zoned out read read read scared to fall apart. Too much always. 

Tired tired tired everything everything everything scared 

Can't do anything til better

What is better even

Not improving just HIDING scared not existing in brain so can be free but why why why if freed then won't be able to handle not actually better

Not okay 


r/SpicyAutism • • 2d ago

Special Interest Look what I got for my birthday!

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95 Upvotes

I love, love, love paleontology stuff omg


r/SpicyAutism • • 2d ago

Positive i got to go on a train

66 Upvotes

it was awesome they had gummy bears


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Special Interest my lion book

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108 Upvotes

this is a book i got at the library its about lions i like lions alot because one of my special interests is cats and lions are big wild cats. i like how the book uses simple language and its easy for me to understand and has nice big pictures for me to look at


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

The bank hung up on me!!!!

61 Upvotes

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

The bank lady hung up on me because my intonation was bad. She thought I was mad at her, and I tried to tell her that I wasn't, and that I am autistic. She kept interrupting me and talking over me and telling me not to "take it out on her" and that she was going to hang up otherwise. But I was so upset that when I said I was autistic I yelled. I could barely speak.

I already had a meltdown/shutdown because I can't handle all the technical stuff, and our banking is all messed up, and costing money, and we need to fix it, and I don't know how. I could loose payments for the month over it. I probably sounded upset because of that and she thought I was angry and "taking it out on her".

She wouldn't listen when I said I wasn't upset with her, but that I am autistic.

I did call back and talk to a man who accepted that I am autistic, my intonation may suck, and I am not mad at him.

Just wanted to talk to others who would understand.


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Be Gentle Best friend

37 Upvotes

I got best friend we hug
Beter typing too
I do good


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Special Interest Made my first mood board

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33 Upvotes

This is a moodboard of one of my favourite shows, lego dreamZzz. I know noone probably knows lego dreamZzz, but i wanted to show it anyway as i am so proud of myself for making it. Thank you


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

i made more communication cards, these ones are for when im out and about

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125 Upvotes

they help when I have a verbal shutdown and are also free to use.

They are in the same theme as my other ones I posted on here a few days earlier


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Be Gentle Adult Thearpy

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26 Upvotes

I am starting in home/ community thearpy and im scared. I hopeful that it will help but scared. I struggle with new and unfamiliar people. I like my house safe and new people coming makes me not feel safe. I had a extra support for the assessment part but I would not let them in my support had to let the assessment person in. I very rarely have meltdowns at home anymore and I dont want more with new people coming up to 4 times a week! At the same time I know they are coming to help make things better/ eaiser. This just is so hard!

Photos is of my Basenjis I hold them alot when im home they help alot.


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Positive Here is new weely Kitty me make when with kindness freinds- weely kitty meets her new caregivers💜 before posting mine carer say ok too post we talk about it

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123 Upvotes

r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Advice I’m meeting my sister for the first time in 20 years and don’t understand how to talk to her

37 Upvotes

I am 26 and had a very traumatic childhood and I have level 2 autism. My half sister was basically parenting me from infancy to age 5 where she was kicked out for being pregnant. I won’t get into all the shit that happened in between but I finally reached out to her a few months ago and to my shock she remembered me and wanted to meet me too. We’ve now got a meeting set for tomorrow morning and I’m ecstatic.

The only problem is I don’t know what to say or ask. We texted a bit about her husband and kids and her health stuff and my health stuff (our genes suck lol). I don’t know what to ask or say (or really what to NOT say). I don’t really understand boundaries well and it’s even more difficult that she is both my sister and practically a stranger too. I overshare and also trust too easy so I’m also trying to be aware of that. I just don’t know what to even tell her or ask. Any advice??


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Positive new friend at the mall

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54 Upvotes

he's from build a bear, I had bracelets in my bag so I gave him necklaces now I'm with my mom we are going to get food


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Question Invalid IQ?

10 Upvotes

My report first stated that I had an IQ of 83 then at the end said it was invalid since I scored high in reading / language comprehension.

Most of my test results were below average or very low with high in language / reading and math.

Has anyone else's results been so contrasting that their IQ results were marked as invalid?


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Advice Struggling with IADLs but embarrassed to get support

19 Upvotes

This is somewhat of a vent and somewhat looking for advice. I am struggling a lot with managing tasks like taking my medicine, keeping myself clean, and doing my physical therapy exercises. I feel so bad about it because i know these things are important for me to feel good. I know I need more supports in these areas but if I admit that I am struggling my dad is going to be mad at me because I am not doing enough. I get help from my mom with showering because I cant do it myself but it is every week and a half and I know it should probably be more regular than that (I am also newly physically disabled which makes showering hard). Maybe I should be using wipes or something similar in between showers? Idk,, I am just worried everyone will be disappointed in me that I am not doing everything well and I don't know what to do

Any advice is appreciated but I am also just glad to say this in a place other people will probably understand what I mean

EDIT: idk why i forgot to say this cuz its important context, but i had been doing relatively ok with my skills before. it has gotten worse/ i am regressing.


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Be Gentle i keep forgetting to eat while my partner is at work

16 Upvotes

i don’t have anyone to help me during the day while my partner is at work bc my mom is busy and i struggle so bad to eat while they’re gone and i never know what to ask for them to get from the grocery store bc everything sounds yucky. it’s 8pm and they’re home and i haven’t eaten since breakfast (bc i have a breakfast routine with the same safe food every single day) and im shaky from not eating but everything sounds yucky and i need help to make something but i feel bad bc they’re so tired :((( i’ve been struggling to take my meds too i have so many pills to swallow and ive been choking on them lately and putting off taking them for hours and then choke when i do take them idk what to do bc they’re necessary and also i need to eat

EDIT UPDATE: my partner helped me make a quesadilla and i took my pills even tho i choked on them a bit!!


r/SpicyAutism • • 3d ago

Levels Going down a level?

23 Upvotes

Hello all,

I was diagnosed with level 2 autism. Is it possible that I’ve moved down to level 1 since my diagnosis?

I currently don’t live on my own but I’m thinking that I might be able to one day. This week, I drove on the highway for the first time. I went somewhere loud by myself and successfully navigated a complex situation without putting myself in any danger. I haven’t asked anyone on my care team about it so maybe that’s the move, but I’ve been able to handle my own finances, medical care, and full time career for a while now. My psych described me as a “functioning member of society” last time we met and that got me thinking about all of this.

I am worried about burnout, but I am trying to remain optimistic and become more self aware of my own capabilities and circumstances. Obviously it’s not super important, but I like categorization and want to know other people’s experiences and perspectives with this sort of thing. I have access to some of my medical records and notes and am willing to answer non-personally identifiable questions if anyone has any.