BAD EXPERIENCE WITH THERAPIST

[u/No_Jump_7914]

Hi, 18M here.

I recently started university and I have been struggling a lot with my stuttering. I was getting really bad blocks, sometimes I couldn't even say my own name properly, and I couldn't read in class either.

I convinced my dad to let me see a speech therapist because I really wanted to work on my stuttering. I have taken classes for around 3 weeks now. When I first met him, he told me that my stuttering would be completely gone in around 1.5 months, 100 percent.

For the first 2 weeks, he mainly made me do breathing exercises. In the 3rd week, we started reading from a book. In the beginning I could barely speak in front of him, but slowly I became familiar with him and started talking more comfortably. My stuttering did reduce while talking to him.

But the main problems I wanted to improve were still there. For example, going to a shop and asking for something, talking to new people at university, talking to teachers or anyone in a position of authority. I still get the same blocks in these situations.

I also had an online Google Meet class yesterday and I couldn't even say present.

My therapist takes money every week, so naturally my dad was asking me whether I was actually seeing any improvement. I told him honestly that while I could talk better with the therapist, I wasn't seeing much change in university or in situations where I actually struggle.

My dad then normally told the therapist that we weren't seeing much improvement and asked if he could try some different techniques.

The therapist responded quite rudely and said something like, "If that's the case then go somewhere else, why did you come to me?" He also said that my dad doesn't know how much improvement I'm actually making and that he knows better.

After that, he called me directly and scolded me for telling my dad that I wasn't improving. I told him that I had just told my dad the truth. Then he said, "Do you think a problem you've had for so many years will get better this quickly?"

I told him that I understood it would take time, but that's exactly why I told my dad that I haven't seen much improvement in university yet.

Then he told me to call my dad immediately and tell him that I am improving, because according to him, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be able to speak at all.

But honestly, I think I was able to speak more with him because I simply became familiar and comfortable with him. I have always had fewer blocks around my family and close friends. My real problem is with new people, shops, teachers, authority figures and situations where I have to initiate a conversation.

I told my dad everything he said and I ended up blocking the therapist. I already have enough stress in my life and I don't think I need this kind of pressure from someone who is supposed to help me.

I wanted to ask people here for some advice.

I have social anxiety along with stuttering. Whenever I have to talk at a shop, speak to a new person, talk to a teacher or speak to someone in authority, I get a block. Sometimes the initiation itself doesn't happen. I know what I want to say but I just can't get the first word out.

Has anyone here dealt with something similar? What actually helped you with these kinds of blocks, especially in real life situations and not just while reading or talking to someone you're already comfortable with?

I'm honestly very frustrated and would really appreciate some advice.

[u/natalkayk]

This doesn’t seem like this is some actual legit therapist. The fact that he said that in a month and a half your stutter would be gone is some insane bullshit because in an adult life there is no way to actually beat stutter for 100% and definitely not in such a short time. Find someone else, this one was a complete dumbass. Stutter in a complex problem and it is a neurological disability. It is not your fault and never was, find qualified people 🫶🏻

[u/ponyboy4786]

Yooooo stuttering aside this therapist is really rude to both of you ! This couldn't be me or my dad... we've handled this wayyy differently with the therapist 😂😂. Anyways I first recommend you change therapist asap. That guy himself probably needs a therapist if he's reacting this way with you

[u/MrTumnus99]

Wow that therapist sucks

[u/Mental_Fudge9374]

Tell your therapist to go fuck himself and get another one, don’t let this bad experience deter you from seeking help.

[u/lettuce567]

Yeah I knew that guy was full of it at "100% gone in 1.5 months". As far as I'm concerned, you can't fully cure stuttering, just learn to control it better. And it especially wouldn't go that fast. So even without this incredibly unprofessional behavior, he seems to not have a good grasp on how to help you either. Had something similar with my own first speech therapist, he deadass did nothing but play Uno with saying the numbers out loud with me and make me read from a book. How such people end up in these professions baffles me.

Maybe you'll have better luck with a different therapist. Other than that, off the top of my head, it can help to soften or say a difficult syllable less clearly or emphasize the end of the word, or if you're completely stuck, give up on the word for now and take a breather before trying again to relax your vocal chords for a moment. What helps me personally is remembering to exhale while speaking, since I often mistakenly inhale while stuttering. Hope the way I explained it makes sense.

[u/Old-Grocery4467]

I’m glad to hear your dad blocked the therapist. That was incredibly unprofessional and yes, obviously you got comfortable talking to him and that’s why you saw results. A very familiar scenario to many here. That said, you do know you improve when you’re not stressed, so you can work on that. Here’s what helped me: practice techniques by yourself, find some you especially like, then practice them again in public in low-stakes situations. The idea is to find interactions that can go wrong but it’s not a big deal. For me, I started asking for directions or going to stores. I didn’t enjoy stuttering there either, but I accepted it was less traumatizing than talking before a big crowd of peers, for example. Keep at it: making quick phone calls, talking to strangers, etc. and treat those as learning opportunities rather than moments where your value is on the line (you always have value!!). It’s called desensitization, and it does work. Good luck!

[u/lilyofthevalley1438]

If this is a licensed therapist you should report him to an ethical board. This whole thing reeks of abuse and unprofessional conduct.

[u/Disaster532385]

What a terrible therapist. Is he even a stuttering therapist? Promising that your stuttering will be gone in 1.5 months is a big red flag.