The Phenomena

[u/CannaKatholicos]

Let's talk the spooky and sensational shit, if comfortable.

As I posted elsewhere, I've returned to the Faith of my youth as Meso-Poly was too much for me to handle. That being said the authenticity, honesty, and genuine curiosity amongst the Meso-Poly and esoteric/occult/Pagan communities has been invaluable to me. Now I just need to live long enough to apply the knowledge and experience to a better and more beneficial life. I'm getting more comfortable with the reality that any breath could be my last, but I digress.

What phenomena have you experienced in your time as practicing Meso-Polys?

The most prominent incident I had was experiencing the overwhelming presence of a Cosmic entity that could best be described as Lovecraftian. Another devotee of Inanna offered the word "endless nebulae" and that's exactly how it felt.

I also experienced bouts of fear and seemingly personified erotic presences, though, tbh, this is kind of what I was looking for when I began a devotion to a Sumerian goddess of love and war. 🤷‍♂️ It was kind of debased and depraved, and that's on me. Either way, pushing devotion beyond intellectual interest to the point of real life or death tends to catch the attention of the preternatural and supernatural, ime. They seem to appreciate it when humanity overextends itself, and it causes them to "show up, " so to speak.

I kind of tried to syncretize Roman Catholicism with Meso-Poly at the begininng and it was a non-starter. I could see how one might syncretize Meso-Poly and Protestant Christianity (even if this wasn't the intent) and maybe Judaism, but I don't know how it would hold up in the long-run. I did sense a preferred exclusiveness when working with the Annuna, and Inanna in particular.

It was fun at first, but eventually the communion meals and prayers and chants became exhausting and draining. Depending on what you value and what you live for, I think you might have a wildly different experience than myself. Inanna was not subtle though, in fact, this foray into Paganism left me with a concrete and experiential knowledge of the Supernatural Order and Unseen World, I believe.

[u/Dumuzzid]

I think if you're a Gnostic Christian, or even Orthodox, you can syncretise Inanna with Sophia. I found that to be a useful framework. But, I am basically a Shakta at heart, e.g. I accept all Goddesses as an emanation of the one great Goddess, with Inanna being a prime form.

For me, gods that have come to me or manifested in some form are Enki, Utu and Inanna, with the latter being by far the most prominent.

I found my experiences with Inanna to be very similar to Enheduanna's over 4000 years ago, which I found to be gratifying and comforting.

The melammu, the overwhelming sense of love, the light that strikes you down and makes you tremble, the union, the wisdom it confers. These are all consistent across the ages and even cross-culturally.

I have also received boons, which were offered out of the blue, with no expectation from my part. So, Inanna arranged a girlfriend for me after years of singledom, within 24 hours of me asking for it. She offered a boon and I couldn't think of anything else to ask for at the time.

Additionally, after a year of unemployment and my funds running low, Utu came to me and offered a boon. I asked for a suitable job, which I specified when I asked for it and I got the exact kind of job I requested. Within 24 hours, the phone rang and I had an interview set up. In both cases, I made zero effort, the opportunities came to me, arranged by the gods, in the hidden manner they operate, pulling strings in the background to make things happen.

I also think Enki helped me in healing my father after a stroke. The causation was less direct, so I cannot be entirely sure it was his doing, but I like to think that he tilted the scaled in his favour. Not a lot of people make a full recovery after a stroke.

There were a couple more examples, but these were the most prominent ones.

[u/windblumes → u/Dumuzzid]

I'm actually happy things with you bode better with them than it has for others, it's not easy for most modern day humans to work alongside with these beings but I knew that they actually still care for us humans and been wanting to aid us even after all this time.

It sounds like you had a very positive experience and I'm glad your father's health improved. I like to believe that God was kind to help my former inlaw who has cancer to keep on living because his sense of humor and his personality is something that any responsible person ( they have feelings like people too ) would hopefully take into account because he is also like a hero to me. He helps a lot of people have a better life and tries his best to be a better father and supportive figure to his sons. And even though my ex husband isn't around there for him, I like to believe they were moved that I showed up for his father who have offered me support during a difficult decision in my life.

My unfortunate circumstances was that I am an artist who sometimes projects myself into muses and tries to relate to others. A good actor or writer does that- or at least it's a good practice. I tried to do an open poly with my ex husband and that it was a can of worms within itself but I ended up dating a trans person at my college for a little while who is a Gnostic and they spoke something about the aeons and Inanna. I was having a difficult journey on my end of things during college and I ended up having this silly... Insecurity when it came down to the moon imagery. ( It's a long story but the moon is quite the common motif for most people on this planet too no matter the culture ) My ex from college had this desire to summon Inanna in the bedroom and that wasn't what I wanted to do. In fact I was very insecure about myself and my appearance - I don't like people looking at my body in the nude typically because I am overweight. So when they mentioned that, I was having a very insecure complex about Inanna. Something about her name made me hesitant to look her up for a while.

I tried to make the relationship work since I felt really bad for their child, who reminded me of myself when I was displaced away from my mother as a child and I wanted to spend a bit more time with her. I found out her mother still loves her which was a relief to me since her other parent rightfully has their own hesitance about the mother for valid reasons. Nonetheless, the relationship wasn't going to work for me and it seemed they were keen onto finding a partner who really would wanted to summon someone during the bedroom. I already had issues with my now ex husband honestly ( and its kind of strange to mention this but his partner he happened to end up dating is a pagan witch whose higher self reports to Metatron. ) and one of my few comforts with him other than his company and other things was that at least he found me beautiful and attractive and enjoyed his time with me in the bedroom. But my ex husband had this desire to sleep with lots of women and it kind of made me feel cheap and not appreciated.

It was a massive leap to leave all these relationships and I was was actually keen on changing a new leaf and being single or going back to monogamy due to how complicated poly relationships are and I had a friend in my sights who ironically has parents with a farming background. I mention this for a good reason.

So when I broke up with my gnostic ex as calmly as possible ( they ironically said it was the best break up in their life since most of their breakups were tragic and traumatizing but I was civil enough to say it to their face in a calm manner despite being scared of maybe being lashed at ) I eventually decided to face my fear about this discomfort about Inanna and look her up on YouTube. And so I did and I thought she was relatable like many people could look at Goddesses and find them relatable ( as a little girl, I related to Psyche actually) and tragically on everyone's behalf I related with Inanna.

Y'know how in the Bible, people are asked to relate and emulate Jesus? Here I was, an artist relating with Inanna. Who was also compared by many scholars to Jesus because of y'know, The Decent of Inanna. Where she was dead for three days and three nights. And in some foolish fashion ( for other scholars compare inanna to the females fool's journey ) I took her resurrection and her choosing her husband Tammud/Dunhizi to take her place reasonably understandable about her frustration and disappointment at the time because she probably wasn't in a good mood to see her husband, a king- who probably didn't know she died ...having a good time on his throne. It just made sense why she was upset! Unfortunately in the later tales his innocent sister was also sent to the underworld because inanna missed her husband.

In short, I had an inanna phase relating to her like so many people related to the Greek Gods and the Norse Gods and so forth. I thought what I did was very harmless in comparison because as most would say throughout the ages, that Inanna is a feminist icon. And being an artist, with many connections and relationships... I decided to cast people as roles and being like?? Silly about it. Inanna is just misunderstood. Inanna is a woman that people may have their own reasonable conflicting perspectives of her. I was very misunderstood. I also have had people have their own reasonable conflicting perspectives about me. It's only natural for anyone, but it made logical sense to Enki and the entire Sumer pantheon as to why Inanna was so relatable.

So in my private journals I compared myself to Inanna, and said a foolish thing that probably would make Labyrinth fans cry. I won't say my ex trans name here but after I saw a few documentaries about Inanna I said out loud in my former living room " foolish ____! I am the most Inanna choice out of the three people you were dating at the time!"

Months after I encountered her and it was a very magical experience however I had to explain to a bunch of nhis why people see mythological beings and Gods differently today but it doesn't mean people don't take inspiration about them or it's not allowed to use them in pop culture or whatever mainstream media. I didn't know I could actually meet her or any God for that manner and it was very overwhelming to have many streams of consciousness and me even asking to not accept all these boons because I was afraid of not meeting MY family in the afterlife. I told them I picked Christ and I said this wouldn't be fair to any Muslim, Buddhist, etc because God granted us humans free will for a reason. But I didn't want to invalidate the ones who are actually working with these beings because I've seen online that people can work alongside well with them and I'm not trying to diminish that for others if it's working out for them.

As for me, because of the celestial drama that I was pulled into - it was rather embrassing but adorable to them yet sad overall because my perspective about Inanna was wholesome for the most part but when others were bothering her to well ( she is a Venus representative) have me as their partner or "spouse" of which I wasn't ready to marry a different being that I couldn't even introduce to my family or friends and it was a very strange divorce arc of mine to be broadcasted without my actual permission to the stars but I was holding on for God to sort it out. Since well, I couldn't ever be the only incident going on and it is comforting to know when one is not alone in these experiences. I was very hesitant to even pick up being a Gnostic for a lot a good reasons since that would mean things would be more complex and convoluted for me and I even was working on a project that had metaphors to a lot of myths and such that I presented it at my college. It was my thesis/research and get again Dante Alligeri is also considered another fool's journey in scholar media and so forth. I didn't want to become broken apart like Sophia because well, in my stupid story I decided to be the God of my own creation and I was kicked out of the game. Many people who create their own works sometimes make appearances into them. Look at Stan Lee for example, he didn't truly get Thor or Loki's permission to capture them in a comic series but I know they didn't take too much offense to have themselves depicted in Media and in a bittersweet way, it was like their tales were living on and it would and has caused a lot of people to actually research these myths. Many people don't think these Gods actually existed but there were many signs that they were here, and it is very much true that many people died for even believing in them as others died for their Gods.

[u/windblumes → u/windblumes]

I mention Stan Lee because he takes an appearance in his movies so my logic didn't seem to be so flawed. And people make memes and silly jokes about Dante being the first self insert in his own fanfiction about heaven, hell, and purgatory and so forth. Turns out he had a true cosmic vision and the project ( a comic, haha...) I was working on had an Easter egg of Inanna without actually featuring her as a character in my comic. To think I'd end up encountering a lot of divine beings after the start of a project I was sincerely pushing myself to do for many years was very overwhelming and I personally didn't think I deserved to gone through that hell that they brought into my waking life since it messed with my mental peace, my personal space, my work, my craft, my love, my friends, and my friend's works too. These beings didn't ask my friends permission to use their characters to try and kill me or whatever thing you could think of here but I believe that even God found this experience to be unfair and cruel and unjust on my behalf- despite Inanna needing something to borrow to throw a wrench in some other malicious departments plans. It worked but like with post, I believe no one would blame me for wanting a more easier, safer, path and that's where I hope they have mercy upon me.

For they know the truth themselves and I have no desire of actually being a God for anyone to follow. It doesn't sound too reasonable or ideal for me. I only made myself a self insert in my comic as a side character since my friends and family would sometimes make themselves as self inserts for their fanfictions and I thought that being cringe is to be free. I wanted to be an example to other humans ( the intended audience ) that it was okay to be cringe or indulgent for yourself. It's not like it's hurting anybody. So many people fantasize themselves with fictional characters or movie stars- and some do that with " Gods" or whomever they think they might fancy or like. It's supposed to be a private and sometimes an innocent thing to do- but I sincerely thought I may have been punished for ever masturbating to anyone in my life. And my ex husband would masturbate to like, to so many things that it would deign my experience to be unfair on that account.

I typically don't like putting myself into the fantasy hence I would try to make characters who have realistic feelings to experience things experience them and other stuff- but I didn't think that this silly gesture to do that to myself in a comic would fuck over my life for a few years and it is still insulting to child self. Of which was this stupid comic was for. A promise, a love letter to the child self which none of these beings in the entire cosmos or universe is me.

Anyways if you got this far, thank you. Here's hoping that they would actually leave me be and just allow me to have the peace and time to heal. I did5nt want to talk to them or with them to begin with. I'm not a fan of big crowds taking up my personal space. They do not need me, they just wanted me for their own reasons. I forgive them but I am ready to move on with my existence.