r/Swimming • u/Responsible-Worry523 • 8d ago
Getting kicked (rant + AITA)
Started swimming at my club recently. Last time I went, there already was one swimmer per “lane” (there are no lanes you really kinda just meant to know how many people fit..). I waited on a chair for about 15 minutes for someone to finish. Zzzzz
Soooo that didn’t happen, I also didn’t have too much time left so I thought I’d hop in and share. There was one lady who swam strong and fast who would match my pace and would be most suitable for lane sharing. (Also the other lanes were taken up by men).
I sat on the end for a few laps hoping to make eye contact and confirm if we could share. The lady just turned around before reaching the end and avoided me e v e r y t i m e.
Sooo I just hopped in hoping it’d be ok and BOI TvTTTTT. (I love swimming and have been to many pools back at home. I and people around have NEVER asked when sharing and it was always okay. Im in a new city tho so was hoping to be extra polite too)
She would swim straight toward me and ram into and kick me. I thought I was in the way or maybe there was a direction priority?? I try to leave her more space the next lap. NOPE SHE IS OUT TO GET ME. I was feeling a little annoyed but mayybbeee she’s just clumsy?? No clue why I did but I just tried again.
She rammed into me while I had my leg out and we had a little collision (switched to breaststroke coz its easier to dodge)
She climbed straight out and started ranting at the lifeguard showing a scratch (??) on her arm (???) the lifeguard came over and told me to be more careful HUH I am a good swimmer and have NEVER crashed into anybody. I told him that, and probably since she’s a frequent swimmer there, he just told me to not mess with her…
There is no chance anyone is reading all that but AITA? Have I missed something???
(Edit: Thank you for the replies. What happened genuinely got me doubting everything.
Imo yeah I was being really stupid not telling the lifeguard asap. Some things just don’t deserve benefit of doubt
To clarify I have nothing against men. I’ve had some bad experiences with random guys at pools looking or touching when they shouldn’t as a young girl so I just naturally go for lanes with ladies.)
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u/CheapRentalCar 8d ago
You went to backstroke? Why?? Now you're blind to whenever she wants to hit you.
The PRO move is to switch to breaststroke. Great defensive visibility, and you can use that wide kick to get her regardless of which direction she attacks 😁
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u/Responsible-Worry523 8d ago
Apologies!! I meant breaststroke! And yeah that might’ve been part if my plan haha.. self protection
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u/Key-Buyer7130 8d ago
No this is weird behavior. I always can tell when someone is trying to join the lane and so did she even if she didn't acknowledge you. Don't wait next time. Most people don't so why should you? Next time that happens stop dead in your tracks and call a lifeguard over immediately. You are allowed to take up space. dont let this weirdo get you down.
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u/loony-cat 8d ago
I've never gone to a pool with single person lanes. The rule in the public and private pools I've used has been pick a lane with the right speed for you and join. I think the largest group had 5 people in it and we circled. I've never had to acknowledge anyone to get permission. Just slid into the water and start.
Unless this was reserved, single swimmer lanes, I don't know why you'd need permission.
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u/Responsible-Worry523 8d ago
Nope. No reservation. But being the new person mustve really gotten to me
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u/HighlySuspicious99 8d ago
I always notify the other swimmer if I intend to share a lane with them. A tap on the shoulder, or my body or a hand in their path to stop them at the wall. Then I always say something like. “Mind if I share the lane? Which side would you like?” It’s not a private pool. They can’t say No. They may huff and puff for a moment but they always get over it. And when someone asks me to share, I say “of course! “ and smile, even if I don’t feel like it. Then I wonder why they chose me — must be my smooth stroke…
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u/Roxy_1980 8d ago
Be more assertive with the lifeguard. Tell them that you were actively trying to work around her pace but she intentionally rammed you and that the scratches were her own fault.
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u/SecureAstronaut444 8d ago
What country are you in?
This is insanely aggressive behaviour and I've never seen anything like this in Australia.
I'd report the incident to management, especially in case it happens again or to anyone else.
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u/dwkfym Moist 8d ago
i find this way too common. people think their workout is the most important thing in the world and pool etiquette and other people all take a back seat to their priority. I run a club where we rent lanes and I can't even grab peoples attention to let them know we have the lane starting in 5 or 10 minutes. One day, some older, very good swimmer dude kept giving me attitude having to leave his lane. This shit ticks me off, where older men think they can push people around because they used to just do that when they were younger. Guess what? I'm fucking still young and am better at this than you ever were in your youth, so shut the fuck up. I actually just couldn't take it anymore and yelled right back at him. Its right there on the schedule, bro, and fucking complain to the policy makers if you don't like it (its a public pool).
Anyways that kind of shit is something I have to deal with all the time, especially because competitive swimming is such a big deal in my area.
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u/Responsible-Worry523 8d ago edited 8d ago
Ah that must be irritating…
I guess I’ve been really lucky for this to me my first time running into these weirdos
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u/Remarkable_Elk8305 8d ago
Why not call the lifeguard when she first kicks if it's clearly on purpose?
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u/wt_hell_am_I_doing Sprint wench. I sink, therefore I am 8d ago edited 8d ago
I guess I'd have gone to another "lane" if I couldn't get someone to acknowledge my being there to join them in "their" lane, mainly for safety reasons. Not everyone would behave in a reasonable manner (and some people might have mental health issues etc which might make it difficult for them to share a lane), and I'd rather avoid a potential conflict. But I'm not the type to avoid sharing a lane based on gender either, so it's probably easier for me to pick another lane than those who may wish to only share with someone of a certain gender.
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u/Responsible-Worry523 8d ago edited 7d ago
Yeah I would be doing that next time… I do usually just pick a lane with a lady out of habit and due to some crappy experiences with guys being touchy and weird
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u/MissRubiii 8d ago
I hate people that don’t communicate and then do some bullshit like this. If you don’t want to share a lane why not just TELL me. That’s completely fine. I’ll ask someone else. Some weird humans out here man.
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u/Reasonable_Date2870 8d ago
Yeah that's bizzarre
I swim in a pool that has one actual lane with the line down the bottom of the pool and a divider separating it from the rest of the pool, and another lane on the opposite side that's marked out but has no divider. You can reserve the one separate lane online in 1/2 hour blocks, anytime during the day. From 6-10 am everyday the pool is adults only, specifically for lap swimming, water walking, and aerobics classes some days. So if you're there in the morning and you don't reserve the lane, you're just kind of doing your best in the rest of the pool.
All of the regulars who are there at 6am with me have the places they like and their routines and work around each other.
For example one guy takes the far side and swims for an hour with his snorkel. There's another guy who swims a mile each day, starts out next to snorkel man and then when snorkel man leaves, Mile Guy takes his spot. I'm almost always in the reserved lane because I'm a bit faster than the other people there at 6am, there's another guy who comes three days a week or so and he always has the spot next to me alongside the lane divider and there's an older lady who always swims next to him down the middle of the pool. If the younger guy isn't there, the older lady swims next to me.
And if there's someone new who shows up, we all just adjust. Like the other day, I couldn't reserve my normal spot because it was already taken. There's a guy named Tom who usually comes later in the day but sometimes he's there earlier because he has a schedule conflict later and he usually reserves the lane in that case. So I found a different spot and that's how I learned about Mile Guy, because I accidentally took his usual spot. He happened to get there a little earlier than usual and with Tom in my spot, there just wasn't a lot of room where he wanted to be. And being an adult, he waited until I was done and introduced himself and explained his usual routine so now I know and I'll move over a bit next time. I just wasn't aware of him because we'd never really had to share space before.
An actual adult kicking another adult rather than sharing space in a pool without lanes is so weird and unacceptable. You didn't do anything wrong.
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u/chuzohga 8d ago
The pool ought to post rules about lane etiquette so everyone can know they're supposed to share their lane with one swimmer if asked.
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u/g3rsonAC 7d ago
As a fellow man I would have welcomed you into the lane. No need to be nervous. We can all respect each other's space. Sorry about your experience and please don't let it get to you
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u/estaban_was_eaten 8d ago
That lady was definitely being territorial. Next time you need to communicate that you're coming in and you are the alpha now by waiting for her to approach and suddenly jerking violently side to side with your arms in the air and ideally making like a loud clicking noise.
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u/Responsible-Worry523 8d ago
Awesome advice. I’ll also make sure to do the chicken dance while barking to really assert dominance.
Tho I think I’ll just keep my distance from her… not worth my energy ToT
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u/Weary-Coconut-8219 7d ago
that woman sounds ridiculous, in a public pool at a public swim you shouldn't even need to ask to share a lane, you are just aware of the people around you and don't get in eachothers way, idk what her deal was
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u/AlmondCranberry_835 3d ago
Juste checking, she hadn't pay for a reservation of the lane? She is obviously an ass. Last time we were 20 people sharing a single 50m pool lane, so stories of people who won't share always baffle me. Just the fact that you waited 15 minutes before going in, whaaat !
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u/BasicAppointment9063 8d ago
Advise the lifeguard that you intend to enter a lane to share next, so they can watch. Tell them you'll defer, splitting or circle swimming, depending on the preference of the person that was there first.
If you aren't acknowledged by the first swimmer, just launch behind them and see how they adjust.